One of my grad school profs, Bill Doherty, is featured on today's U of M Moment talking about the phenomenon of child birthday party one-upsparentship:
Children’s birthday parties are careening out of control in America, leading to higher costs, pressured parents and overindulged kids. William Doherty, a U of M professor of family and social science, says many parents are raising children who feel entitled to bigger and better parties each year, with more stuff to fill their lives.
I've written about this before, and it is ever so relevant as my children's birthday is a few short weeks away. We've been on the "less is more" birthday party bandwagon for a couple of years now. However, things are a little complicated this year because (a) my children are now in their third school/child care environment, and (b) they are, for the first time, in separate classrooms. Both situations have greatly expanded their potential guest list to an unmanageable size. I have staunchly avoided "girl-only" parties in the past, as both daughters have always gotten along and are very popular with boys as well as girls. But that is certainly one place where a cut could be made. Well, we'll see.
Beyond guest list issues, we are determined to keep to our tradition of low-key (and low stress) celebration. What about you: If you are parenting or have parented, how do/did you handle your children's birthday parties?
*Another story here; Also see this website.
I am so with you on the less is more birthday parties. We limit the number of pint-sized guests to around 8 and try to include in that number mostly the children of family friends, with one or two friends from school.
Here's the really terrible thing I do...I don't go to all the parties to which we are invited so that the boys don't get any ideas. Most of the time the parents at the boys' preschool invite the whole class regardless of a friendship between our kids or not.
This year we splurged on a $100 bouncy castle/rocket for Pony, but that's as far as it goes.
I also REFUSE to purchase the cheap plastic crap that parents hand out for favors. This year I bought little Chinese musical instruments and that's all they got. END OF STORY.
I know I won't be able to do this for much longer but while I can, I do.
Posted by: Mieke at February 18, 2007 10:33 PMWe've also been on the "less party - more fun" path for the past several years. My daughter is in a really cool cohort of kids at her school that has all been together since 1st grade so we don't like to force her to make choices on the guest list. But some things we have done to keep costs down and fun high are to avoid the "Libby Lu's" and "Chuck E. Cheese's" of the world in favor of home-baked ideas. One year we did a mystery party. Once all the kids were there I made a big deal of screaming and fainting on the kitchen floor. When the kids ran in to see what was up, the cake plate was empty save a few crumbs and an envelope with clue #1. The clues took them all around our house and yard, down to the park, and ultimately to a neighbors house where I had convinced 2 teeage boys to play the role of cake thief (complete with frosting smeared on their faces). The boys loved the chance to get involved because we used walkie-talkies to communicate the girls whereabouts. The girls loved the challenge of solving the riddles. Yes - it was risky to plan an outside activity in Minnesota in early May. Would you believe we actually had snow flurries while the girls were looking for clues. They loved it!
Another thing we do is note on the invitation that "in leiu of gifts, please bring a food donation for Dakota Woodlands Shelter." This gets us off the hook for providing treat bags (we are anti- plastic trinkets in our house) and the kids feel good knowing that they are making a difference.
Just a few thoughts - with a little effort it's not that hard to have a really fun party with friends and not spend a lot of $$.
:-)