October 31, 2005
Maybe next Halloween I'll go dressed as a good parent...
Being a good parent means continually downgrading one's expectations of what it is to be a good parent. Leave it to Halloween to (re)teach me this life lesson. This year I successfully failed in three areas:
(1) Breaking my daughters of their deeply ingrained gender stereotyped wishes for costumes;
(2) Making them beautiful, handmade costumes with (as Spongebob said recently) "love sewn in every stitch," and
(3) Partcipating in old-fashioned, neighborhood, non-commercial Halloween festivities.
Last one first. We went trick-or-treating this year at Camp Snoopy, the giant amusement park housed inside the Mall of America. Now, as a card carrying liberal, I am supposed to despise everything that Camp Snoopy/MOA stands for. I am supposed to espouse an ardent belief that Camp Snoopy/MOA is the very handbasket in which our hell-destined nation is currently being carried: Commercialism. Crass consumerism. Cookie-cutter chain stores. And probably a lot of other hard-c words that I just can't think of right now.
But. To Camp Snoopy we went. The girls stopped at the dozen or so stations sponsored by different food and other companies, exclaiming "TRICK OR TREAT" to the costumed, thoroughly bored looking teen employees in charge of doling out the corporate-donated booty. Not quite the "old fashioned" trick or treating I remember from my childhood.
Second failure achieved: Hand made costumes. In years past I have been shamed when I observed the elaborate get-ups that some of my parenting peers had lovingly wrapped their offspring in. Here my kids were in store-bought, not-quite-right-sized costumes that--despite my most careful clipping--still managed to have stray plastic tag stays sticking in the most uncomfortable places.
Here their kids were in custom-made Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz outfits, feet clad in red jeweled shoes with taps in the heels, a real live little dog trailing beside them on a leash.
This year I swore I would rise to the occassion and make our girls' costumes.
One problem: I do not sew. But no problem. I bought tape-on velcro and this special fabric bonding paper I saw on HGTV that only requires a household iron on silk setting. My daughters picked out their own colorful ribbon and fabric. I cheated a little with pre-made tiaras, wings, wands, and leotards. But the overall look was to be (in my mind) quite unique and 100% homemade. Other parents would gaze upon the costumes and nod knowlingly: "Now there is a Mother Who Cares."
Well, hours later (hours) I had crafted something that looked like what someone might piece together following twenty minutes of fruitful dumpster diving. Folks who saw my daughters thought they were cute. But no one was quite sure what look I was going after. (Typical comment: "Ohhhh, how cute! What are they supposed to be?")
And now, about those costumes...
The mister and I have been fighting an unrelenting battle against the Disney Princess marketing machine for the last couple years now. We repeatedly explain our objections: girls can be so much more than princesses; wouldn't it be better if they showed more beautiful brown girls like you and your sister; etc.
This year we compromised: They were tooth fairies. (Or, they were supposed to be tooth fairies. See above.) A far, far cry from the firefighter or vet or dino-digger I had tried to steer them toward. But at least they were not any of the Disney princesses.
Yet. Still. I am a good parent. (Lather, rinse, repeat.)
The kids had a ball. They proudly sported their inexpertly-rigged costumes even as parts of them unravelled as the evening wore on. They were thrilled at being in the princess/fairly/angel club with so many other little girls (and one secure, successfully gender smashing little boy). And even though Camp Snoopy was crowded, chaotic and even more completely over-the-top than its usual tacky spendor, that only seemed to add to the spirit of Halloween.
And see here? Apparently even fairy/princess/human butterfly/ballerina types can be NASCAR drivers!
All in all a very successful Halloween. And thankfully over--for another year at least.
Posted by perry032 at October 31, 2005 12:32 AM | TrackBack| Printer-friendly version
Me: super-tall black woman who in my youth appeared as: Tooth Fairy! Tree! Diana Ross (bathrobe and wig)! Lollipop Fairy (tutu with suckers stapled on) and something that involved front and rear poster boards joined at the shoulders.
More than any specific outfit, though, I remember the anticipation of Halloween. Who will I be? What will I wear? Will my costume survive the school day? Our school was very small and celebrated with a Halloween parade where everyone walked across the stage. Exquisite torture!
Posted by: Valerie M. at October 31, 2005 06:49 PMYour daughters both look beautiful and so do their costumes! Ease up on yourself and enjoy the fun!
Posted by: Sno Cones at October 31, 2005 08:52 PMThey loook adorable!!! I don't know if you've had a chance to stop by, but Jonas went as a fire fighter to school and a princess for the actual trick or treating. I was curious aside from the "cool crown and shiny dress" what made him want to be a princess, but then I saw how much attention the girls got as princesses vs the boys as robots or pirates. It's amazing to watch. No wonder he wanted to be a princess, he'd get more oooos and ahhhhhhs
Posted by: Mieke at November 2, 2005 10:24 AM