It's August again and that means two upcoming things in FSoS here in McNeal Hall--two upcoming rites of passage that, for the first time since my arrival, I am considering skipping. The first is the Minnesota State Fair and all its concomitant parking/walking/driving nightmares.
Not that I will be avoiding the fair itself: This is the highlight of my family's summer and gets more fun each year as our daughters grow older and are better able to appreciate it. Huge mutant pigs! Snickers bars dipped in batter and fried on a stick! Rides gallore! Political campaigning! Yes, I'll be there for all that. But the Saint Paul campus of the U of MN broders the fairgrounds. As such, I have no desire to plan out my day on campus to try to avoid and outfox the hordes of fairgoers taking up all the spaces in my usual parking lots or taking leisurely shortcuts through the library or asking for directions then immediately proceding to walk off in the direction opposite what I just told them.
Plus, my wanting to avoid the Fair crowds will give me a good excuse to miss the second rite of my life on the St Paul campus in late summer: the "welcome" events and orientations in my department for the new cohort of grad students.
By now every other student in my cohort has moved on to bigger and better things. Several folks from the cohort after me have now gone on to successfully defend their dissertations. I am on my own clock and accept this. I took a full 18 months off following the births of my daughters. I am proud of my own accomplishments and thus, find it easy to rejoice in the accomplishments of my peers. But I am not sure that I can take participating in the rituals meant to usher in yet another group of peers to the program.
And in my program we have nice rituals. First, everyone gets office space and a desk. Most of the first years share a large group office, in the process building community and a sense of belonging. Those coming into the program with RAs generally are incorporated immediately into the culture of their respective research projects. All first years take the introductory process seminar where they are introduced to the department, the faculty, and the ongoing research projects and teaching opportunities.
Second, the first years attend formal orientation. I understand this may be different this year after much discussion about exactly what--and how much-- information is necessary to throw at new grad students their first day. But regardless of its final form, the students will get to sit around conference tables and see each other and see the important people they will come into contact with almost daily for the next several years of their lives. They may or may not remember all the information coming their way. They may or may not feel like frauds who have been let in accidentally into this top ranked program. But at least they will experience, literally, occupying a seat at the Family Social Science table.
Third, our department has informal networking opportunities for new grad students worked into the start of the academic year. Most are paired with an "experienced" graduate student. Many will come in already knowing at least one existing student who has answered questions since the recruiting stage of their decision making process; Some will have been guests at their peer mentor's home during a previous visit.
And the best informal opportunity of all is the potluck lunch during orientation, attended by staff, faculty, and old and new graduate students. In some past years some folks have brought their instruments and provided live music while everyone mingles and eats. There has been a tradition of the new second years presenting "care packages" to the newbies who have taken their place on the lower rung of the graduate program ladder. Always there is a clever poem written and recited by a respected retired elder statesman of our department, Dr. Gerry Neubeck (see My Autobiography.)
And of course there are always introductions.
If I were on a therapist's couch right now, I imagine this is where the therapist would stop doodling, sit up with sudden interest, and interrupt me: "Tell me more about these introductions."
Well. Of course it is standard procedure to say your name, whether your program focus is family therapy or family science, where you're from--and what year in the program you are in. I think last year I made a joke out of this latter piece of mandatory introductory information, perhaps coughing in place of giving a year or offering a random variable, X, instead of a numeric year.
Sure, I got a laugh. I'm sure anything I'd do this year might get a laugh, too. I suspect that by this time I have become a part of the departmental legend--though, not anything near Dr. Neubeck in stature, of course. But the story about the PhD student who had twins her first year, ushering in another six or so subsequent babies (including another set of twins!) in a cohort of seven graduate students--well, that's quite a tale.
Sure, my story of babies and time off and publications and presentations and honors might serve as a hopeful tale for others, proving that family life and graduate school success (or, at the least, survival) can go arm in arm. Sure, I might provide a necessary reality check for those first years with their carefully filled-out program checklists detailing their hopeful (and likely unrealistic) three-and-a-half year plans. And sure, it would do me some good to meet these new students with their very different backgrounds and strengths and possibilities for teaching me something new.
But, you know...the parking...the crowds...the heat. Not to mention all this work I have to do... Plus I won't have child care because my children's kindergarten doesn't begin until September 8th...
As much as I believe in fully participating in the life and culture of the department, perhaps it is time for me to leave this particular rite to folks who don't feel the need to cough instead of revealing how long they've been students.
Then again, the girls and I could stop in quickly for the potluck. We could leave right after hearing this year's poem. Before the introductions.
Ah orientation events man I can relate..they are only surpassed by recruitment events..."oh and have you met ___ she studies brown people too" (I'm sorry that was ugly)...Oh how sad, I'm going to miss those this year...