Once there was a Turkey, who also happened to be a graduate student working on her dissertation. (Perhaps you did not know that turkeys are admitted into graduate programs...)One day, completely frustrated with her lack of dissertation progress, the Turkey took a walk outside. Soon she came upon a huge tree. She stood at the base at the tree for some time, looking up longingly at its massive and heaven-reaching branches. After a few moments, a Bull lumbered over.
"What are you looking at," asked the Bull.
"At this tree," replied the Turkey. "It is such a great tree, a towering tree. I am certain that--if only I were able to get to the top of the tree--I could see for miles around, my dissertation block would be overcome, and all my problems would be solved."
"But alas," the Turkey continued, "I am unable to fly to the top of the tree..."
"Ah," said the Bull, "it is only that your wings are too weak. If you had the proper vitamins and proteins, you would be more than strong enough to reach the top."
At this the Turkey brightened up a little. "Here," said the Bull, "eat some of my dung. It will give you the strength you need to fly to the top of the tree."
The Turkey thanked the Bull before he lumbered off. Although she was somewhat hesitant about following his advice, after some moments of staring at the dung heap and looking up at the tree, she decided to go for it. She bent and nibbled a small amount of the dung. She immediately felt a tingling in her wings. Somewhat encouraged, she took larger and larger bites of the heaping pile.
The Turkey then flew effortlessly onto one of the uppermost branches of the tall tree. Thus situated, she looked far and wide, clucking happily at the new vistas now afforded her.
Before long, some fellow Scholars were taking a break from their own research by doing a little hunting. (Perhaps you did not know that academics hunt...) The Turkey's loud clucking caught their attention. The Scholars observed her for a few moments, quite amazed that a Turkey would be able to fly so high into a tree so tall.
Then they promptly unholstered their rifles and shot the Turkey from the branch.
The moral of this story is: Bullshit can get you to the top, but it cannot keep you there. In dissertating--as well as any other academic endeavor--you must be willing to do the hard work.
Editorial comment: I feel myself incredibly fortunate that I have taken this particular lesson to heart. There truly are no dissertation shortcuts: Only working smarter in order to finish stronger.
Acknowledgement: Thank you, scaa, for the joke. My apologies in advance for any liberties I have taken in adapting it for my purposes!
One more thing: More Bulls. (Sans the sh**!)
Oh my goodness! What a story! I recall there being lots of BS in grad school and I also recall that those who produced the most of it probably still haven't graduated yet.... :P
Posted by: Hsien Lei at May 10, 2006 04:56 PMOh, this was a great story, Yvette! I'm glad you liked the handwriting post... I just thought it'd be a "new" idea to throw out there :)
Posted by: Lilian at May 11, 2006 03:01 PMOh, I love this!! Thanks for posting it!
Posted by: Tabitha Grimalkin at May 20, 2006 11:38 PM