Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

"When I think of home..."

As I hinted in a previous post, I will soon be moving with my family to Indiana. I should say "back" to Indiana. But that is kind of complicated.

Let me rewind.

For most of my life I have not known exactly how to answer the question, "Where are you from?" (Some people say "Where are you from originally?" and I really do not know how to answer that.)

A logical explanation for my uncertainty is that I have lived in many different places in my life, moving many times even within any given city. As a result I find that I resist claiming any place as some place where I "am from." A logical explanation for my frequent moves as a child--and one that I often give because it is simple and easy for people to grasp--is that my father was in the Army. "Ohhhh, you're an Army brat," folks will say, nodding, and sometimes telling of their own experiences as a military dependent. But even though I was born in an Army hospital (Ft. Bliss, El Paso, Texas in the house!) most of my childhood moves happened after my father got out of the military.

Other times I will talk about my father being in the military, and then being in graduate school (Purdue University, West Lafayette, IN in the house!) to which some folks will say "Ohhhh, you were a grad school brat," nodding, and sometimes telling of their own experiences as such an offspring or (more often) as the parent of such offspring. But that does not totally explain my reluctance to admit to a "from" some place either.

Sometimes in answer to the whereareyoufrom question I will simply say "I was born in Texas, but spent most of my formative years in Indiana." That is easier, and the "formative" part seems to satisfy most folks--I guess because by that question people are trying to get a handle on what geographical environment shaped someone in childhood. Of course, though, in my own biography that explanation leaves out Miami, FL and Boston, MA and the Washington, D.C. area and Richmond, VA and Bamberg, Germany. It doesn't account for the fact that I have lived in my present city (St. Paul, MN in the house!) for longer than any other city--even from my "formative years." It doesn't account for the fact that the one experience that was most (trans)formative for me--becoming and being a parent--happened solely in my most current geographical location.

So now, regarding my upcoming move, how do I explain it? If I say "I am moving to Indiana" then folks start telling me about the place as they have experienced it or have heard about it. In that case, I often explain further, "Well, actually I am from there."

Ah. And there I am again. Saying that I am "from" someplace (Indiana). Often the next thing folks say is, "Ohhh, then you're moving back home!"

Home...

In The Wiz, Diana Ross (and Stephanie Mills in the stage musical) sings:

When I think of home

I think of a place

Where there's

Love overflowing

I wish I was home

I wish I was back there with the

Things I´ve been knowing...

This makes me think that "home" is not really a "place" at all. Instead, it is more an emotional state (as opposed to a state on a map) characterized by feelings of warmth and love and familiarity and longing. If home is just a "state of mind," then I should get to choose where I am from. As such, I guess I could rightly claim to be a citizen of the universe in answering whereareyoufrom or describing my move. You know, "Oh, well, I am moving to Indiana, but I am originally from the outter reaches of the cosmos." Or, I guess I could just make up a homeplace, some place that represents who I am now or who I am striving to become--and this place need not even be a "real" place on a map. Alternately, I could use the question as a race relations teaching moment, saying something like "I am moving to Indianapolis, known as the 'Crossroads of America,' but of course I am originally from Africa--'the Birthplace of Humankind'--as we all are..."

I am not sure such fanciful explanations would serve my needs, though. Nor would they likely be helpful in my interactions with others. I think questions about home, the answers I might provide, and the cognitive somersaults I make when thinking about both are indicative of something much more basic and core. Now. That statement should lead me to close out this post with an appropriately scholarly rumination on the literary, psychological, sociological, spiritual and philosophical viewpoints on "home" and its significance.

Instead, it leads me to a joke:

A little boy comes home from kindergarten and, with a serious look on his face, asks his father, "Daddy, where did I come from?" The father takes a deep breath, as he had known this day would come when he would have to address this issue. But he recovers, and launches into a detailed explanation of men and women, sexual intercourse, conception, gestation, and child birth. He even gets down from the closet special books and other age-appropriate visual aids that he had saved for just this occassion. After his lengthy explanation he looks at his son and said, "So, son, do you understand?" His son looks back at him and after a moment says haltingly, "Well, yes, but...it's just that Colin from my class said he came from California."

Posted by perry032 at May 21, 2008 11:06 AM | TrackBack
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