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January 31, 2005
start piling up the aspirin
Ok, thank god for online quizzes taking up my time.
I just took one that told me when I was going to die:
You have 23071.6 days left on this earth.
You've already lived 25% of your life.
That basically means March, 2068, most likely of a heart attack at the age of 84. I was worried I wouldn't get to see Haley's Comet again, but apparently now I can rest assured, I'll still be around to see it.
Posted by piep0058 at 03:16 PM | Comments (3)
January 30, 2005
Working the Double!
Ok so it's Sunday and I've worked teh past 2 nights in a row! LAME! And I'm doing it again this weekend. It really isn't that bad. I mean, I need the money and working keeps me from spending it. And working Friday nights are so much fun compared to working Saturday nights. For one, there's Jason Helm. And then there's Nick and his little chihuahua in it's pink corduroy jacket. I've never seen anything so ridiculous in my life. I thought that was something that only existed in Legally Blond. Now I've seen everything and can die peacefully.
Anyways I'm going to see Bad Education in a little bit so I better get some gay coffee before I see the movie.
Posted by piep0058 at 01:02 PM | Comments (4)
January 28, 2005
Hour 40
So I was a dumbass and decided to pull an all nighter last night. The CHEN 4102 wasn't even that hard! I just decided I'd hang out at Tim's and watch Mean Girls (a movie I have been wanting to see for a long time). The movie was good, but it bothered me that the gay character wasn't dancing with anyone in the end. I know, right!
But beside that small point the movie was entertaining, actually, especially the imagination scenes. Just because it was hard to tell what was imagination and what was real.
So far classes are ok. Cussler is a great professor, he really seems to challenge students to think in class. This is definately a change from the 3 Greeks (Tsapatsis, Kokkoli, Kaznessis) that I've had in my previous 3 courses. Cussler actually puts you on the spot to solve simple problems. These aren't the simple problems of 4001. I could easily fall asleep in 4005 just because Tsapatsis, is, well, kinda quiet. Cussler is so loud he doesn't even need the microphone. Kokkoli tried to put students on the spot but she was more or less waiting for volunteers, and she shouldn't wait for volunteers especially on really simple questions about mass balances. Just call on someone! I liked Kaznessis the best out of all of them, but maybe that was just because the material he taught didn't seem to drag on.
Process analytical though...oh my god...if I didn't stop to get coffee before that class I would totally be dozing off all the time.
Derby and McCormick are allright. So far so good!
Anyways, I get to have the fun of working Friday and Saturday at the Loring Pasta Bar! When am I going to catch up on sleep...
Posted by piep0058 at 03:34 PM | Comments (0)
January 25, 2005
To CA or not to CA?
Ok I've got a decision to make. Do I do continue to be a community advisor next year or do I find an apartment. Both will be way fun I'm sure. Having my own apartment would give me more freedom. I could actually cook again. I'd have more time to do my homework. I could have people over to my place and have it not be in my room.
But I've had such a good time being a CA here in Comstock. I don't know if I'd want to give it up. It's a free room, free food, on campus. You can't get better than that. Of course, I'd be 6000 dollars richer if I stayed being a CA.
What to do what to do what to do.
Posted by piep0058 at 06:34 PM | Comments (5)
January 24, 2005
I'm Gross
Ok, today is the day Ben Bolek finally won. Yes, he grossed me out more than I was able to gross him out. I'll just say *pop* BOOOYEAH! and be done with it.
I did an activity tonight, we watched the movie Legend and had hot cocoa. It was good and delicious. And about 10 people showed up overall. And 4 of them were CAs.
And it's time for a shower...cuz I still haven't done so even after going to the 90s last night. Hence the grossness.
Still trying to tell myself no. And it's not working.
Posted by piep0058 at 11:27 PM | Comments (0)
January 23, 2005
Telling Myself No
It's hard to realize things that aren't apparent; many people have trouble solving this issue. Many messages from people come in disguises. Their body language, word choices, etc. are what they're really saying.
If it were that easy, I think people would be just fine and dandy with solving this issue. But what complicates it, though, at least for me, is wanting to hear what I want. And especially if it's something that is so incredibly desirable, it's hard to shake this feeling.
People say the word "no" in many ways. It's not always as apparent as a mother scolding a child when he gets into the cookies. And especially if people are being polite, the word "no" can be extremely difficult to discern.
Right now I feel the need to tell myself "no." And it's hard.
Posted by piep0058 at 02:34 PM | Comments (7)
Fun in the First Week
Soooooo last week was quite interesting.
Tannen came to visit, that was cool! I'm glad he had a good time. At least I hope he had a good time. The University of Minnesota is such a cool place. I don't think I could imagine myself going anywhere else. I just read today in Lavender that Minnesota and New Jersey were the only states to receive an "A" grade. So that's cool, I guess...however they were grading the states...
Anyhow, Tannen managed to convince Nick to come out to the Saloon. Yes, that's right, Nick came out to the Saloon. Amazing huh? I never thought I'd see the day. Actually I've become much more sympathetic towards Nick lately. I hope he enjoyed his time with Tannen.
So Nick didn't freak out when he got into the Saloon. But he did get kicked out. Which isn't such a bad thing. The Saloon is lame most of the time. I mean, I got kicked out too the first time I ever went. I was kicked out for nearly 20 months. And...shhhh...I secretly snuck back in numerous times and they didn't care. They need the money anyhow. The only time I didn't get back in was the one time I went out with Cathal and the stupid lesbiouncer said, "You look familiar" blah blah blah. So one time I didn't get back in (out of the 20 times or so that I went back there until I was 21).
And then came the snow. And now I just hate the snow. (At least when I have to drive.)
Posted by piep0058 at 02:10 PM | Comments (0)
The First Week
So the first week wasn't so bad. I remember the first week of classes last semester. I was freaking out. I think the content of my classes this semester is actually harder, but somehow I'm managing to brush it off my shoulder like it's nothing. Maybe I'm getting smarter, who knows.
I tried to watch Latter Days on Tuesday night but was interrupted several times because of a fire alarm that went off in Comstock. They ganked a fire extinguisher and played around with it so much that the detectors went off and then the alarms. So I had to mop up the floors from all the extinguisher dust, and I missed the middle hour of the movie. Anyways, these are the two guys I missed.
The week went remarkably well actually. It kinda sucks to have homework again. But I guess it all will work out in the end. It's back to having no life.
But sometimes I want a life so badly. I'm going to have to tell myself I can't have one.
Posted by piep0058 at 01:20 PM | Comments (0)
January 19, 2005
The first day
So school is back and with a vengeance. Monday, Wednesday and Friday are going to suck for a while because I have 4 classes right in a row from 10:10 to 2:15. And I have to take all these classes along with all of the other chemical engineer majors. I guess we will all starve then.
At least we will starve for the first 6 or 7 weeks. After that we get to drop the process analytical lecture and just attend the lab. Which means we get to have an hour to ourselves from 12:05 to 1:25.
I think this is just the schedule to slim down. Assuming I don't binge eat at dinner. And I'm going running again! YAY!
Posted by piep0058 at 04:04 PM | Comments (2)
Look! A bio!
Ok I added something new to the sidebar. Check it out! It's like my little bio or whatever.
Posted by piep0058 at 03:59 PM | Comments (1)
January 17, 2005
Is this more gay?
Ok, I'm not changing the main picture...but just to prove to a reader that I am not a plumber, here is what I looked like about 12 hours after the previous picture was taken:
Is it a bad thing to look incredibly unrefined?
Posted by piep0058 at 10:41 PM | Comments (7)
January 16, 2005
Yet Another Picture
Yay for digital Cameras!
Me. My room. My loft. My hat. Sitting at my computer.
Posted by piep0058 at 08:03 PM | Comments (2)
January 15, 2005
Move in Day, Spring 2005
Yes, the internet is still out on the east side of Comstock.
Yay! All my circle of friends are finally starting to return. It's true, I missed them. I miss joking aound with them and playing games and talking about incidents. I'm really going to miss the dorms when I finally actually have to leave college and go to the real world. At least over the summer I'll be in Minneapolis and not back in St. Louis. It'll be GREAT!
And I get to make money tonight to pay off my $700 Discover Card Bill. I hope it's fun at the pasta bar! I'm just exploding with energy...especially after playing with twenty kids yesterday. It was a community service project for housing and residential life...we walked across downtown and played with some underpriviledged children at a shelter of sorts. Others said it was a method of birth control...but, as much as I hate kids, I actually liked it. It makes me want to have kids. Not anytime soon though, only once my career is set. But I did find a new appreciation that I will never have to deal with pregnancy ever. Sometimes I joke around about that. Pregnancy scares me so much, and that's why I'm gay.
The walk back through downtown was fun. We took the skyways before getting on the bus. Thank god for not living in the 19th century!
Posted by piep0058 at 01:25 PM | Comments (0)
January 14, 2005
Still No Net
Ok so right now I'm at the front desk at Comstock because I still have no internet. I want to load pictures! This is so lame, I should be credited some cash money cuz my internet doesn't work.
This reminds me of the summer. I remember not having any internet. It sucked. I had to schedule myself around the computer labs.
I don't know about other people, but I am dead without the internet now. I can't settle for the local newspaper. I need every single source, New York Times, Washington Post, blogs, etc.
And when I can't talk online people think I'm dead.
Posted by piep0058 at 08:32 PM | Comments (0)
January 13, 2005
Rah for the U of M!
Yay finally home...and forgetting the whole coming out thing, I have one big disappointment. I forgot to re-register my computer for a DHCP assignment so I have no internet. I re-registered about a few hours ago this morning, so hopefully I'll be back online in Comstock soon!
So I'm sitting in Coffman B60. I actually enjoy the time I spend here. I get to use a smooth sexy sleek Mac rather than my silly old fashioned Dell. If I had money, I think I would start saving to buy a new computer in the next year when I get to grad school...ha ha ha who am I kidding. I'm gonna get a lame job working somewhere and make like 70K-100K a year. I'd really prefer to do research, it doesn't matter where. I just like the idea of being on a college campus the rest of my life. I get to be in a community where people walk a lot (a rare thing in the United States), new ideas are rushing around, and to top that off, I get to be affilliated with a variety of sports teams. Doing research at a university sounds so much better than doing research at a company. Moreover, I'd get the opportunity to inspire thought into others, such as with teaching classes. One doesn't find that working at a big-name corporation, at least I wouldn't think. Any which way it happens though, I gotta be near a big city whereever I choose to end up working. None of this North Dakota or Alabama crap. In fact...I'm just gonna say NO! to the entire southeast, southwest midwest except for Minneapolis and Chicago, Virginia, New Mexico, Arizona, and Denver.
UPDATE: Ok, so I didn't tell either of my parents on the phone as I had intended to do. I am just going to wait until my Dad, again, asks me about going out with girls. I will tell him then. I just can't start a conversation, on any medium, talking about it. I'd rather have it just be a point of clarification. And I know he will ask me sometime in the next month or so. And, it'll probably happen on the phone.
Posted by piep0058 at 02:13 PM | Comments (1)
January 11, 2005
Coming Out
This is nothing more than what I wish to tell my parents. I was supposed to do it today, but, well, making cream cheese wontons sounded so much better...so fuck! Now, if I were maybe a little braver and a little wiser, this is what I would have said:
"Mom, Dad, you know how I told you I don't like to date girls? Well, the truth is, I really will never date any girls ever. I like to date guys. Was this a surprise to you?"
There! That easy! How come I couldn't do it? I'm just going to do it on the phone tomorrow. And that's exactly what I'm gonna say. And then I'm going to run hysterically around campus, yelling at people and climbing up on fences. Either out of happiness or sadness...but ultimately out of happiness. And it'll be just great.
And if anyone wants to hold a gun to my head tomorrow to make sure I do it...please volunteer now.
Posted by piep0058 at 11:28 PM | Comments (9)
January 10, 2005
Burning off the Booze
Ok so contrary to my declaration, I had a lot to drink last night. Good ol' Bud Light, what would I do without you.
Anyhow it was good times last night. I'll just leave it at that.
During the day today I took a walk around Kirkwood. Well...I had the intention to go to Starbucks, so I wasn't aimlessly walking around. The walk was fun.
Then I went with Adam and his girlfriend Becky to a cute pizza place called Dewey's Pizza. It was great! A lot of little kids though...and we all know how I feel about 30+ 8 year olds running around. And then they get all excited about looking at the pizza getting tossed behind the glass...*rolls eyes*
Anyhow, Dewey's Pizza was somewhat similar to Pizza Luce, except not as creative with their pizza, and Pizza Luce is not very gifted with designing the inside to be aesthetically pleasing, as far as space utilization goes.
Posted by piep0058 at 01:13 AM | Comments (0)
January 08, 2005
Snow!
So it snowed on me yesterday. It was hot! I just finished buying a chartreuse pair of Diesel shoes and I walked outside into the falling flakes. I just couldn't stop smiling as the heavy flakes got caught in my hair.
I couldn't resist the temptation to actually spend some more time outside in downtown Clayton. I nearly fell a few times...but walking through the streets, and stopping in Shaw Park to check out the broomball game in the outdoor ice rink was fun. Oh it felt like I was actually in a metropolitan center or something! After walking in the park and slipping down the hill, I decided I'd traverse through the city rather than the park and stop and look at some of the menus at the restaurants. I also got the urge to get a chai from Starbucks to drink while walking in the snow...so I got one.
All in all...good times.
And it got better! I went running on the track in the snow! Everyone should do this. It's so easy on the joints! I ran a mile and didn't feel like stopping, so I ran another half mile. By then my legs were feeling a pinch from the cold, so I decided to quit (I was wearing shorts, it was like 30 degrees).
Posted by piep0058 at 08:33 PM | Comments (0)
January 05, 2005
Gay Coffee
Prompted by a reader (what? you mean people actually read the crap that I put in this thing? surprise to me too...) I decided that I'd write about what I like to call "gay coffee." And, I'm going to make this story much longer than I need to.
Ok now growing up in St. Louis, young people are always complaining about "things to do" blah blah blah. Everyone has to do something as a group. Like, hey, let's go ice skating or hey, let's go watch a movie, or let's go to steak 'n shake! yeah!
I, on the other hand, hated doing things in groups of more than 4 people, just because no one could ever agree on doing anything and we looked silly walking around in such a huge group. Now, by the time I hit age 17 I read about this website in the newspaper.
Now the previously mentioned website has a "places" guide. Enter the Coffee Cartel (about 4 pictures down). I was so nervous the first time I went to this place. I went on a Sunday morning when I was supposed to be at church. It was so weird. Nobody was there except for some older men who had to be gay. They actually talked to me while I was waiting for my mocha, and commented on how dirty my sunglasses were. (My oakley straight jackets did have a lot of finger prints on the lenses, for the record.) Anyhow I figured this place was pretty lame until I decided to go with some friends (just 2, not 5 million) to go get some coffee one night. When I got there I was schocked. I had never seen so many young gay people in my life. Like, this is what you saw on TV. Apparently the Coffee Cartel turns into a huge gay mecca (as does the whole Central West End, at night). Thus, the term "gay coffee" gets coined. There's nothing about the sexual orientation of coffee, it's just a coffee shop where homos seem to know about. It's also a pre-bar destination for those old enough to go out to them.
Minneapolis actually has gay coffee too. If you've ever gone down Lyndale right next to where they should build a light rail track next to the bicycle path you've seen it. It's called Vera's. No one, of course, must be gay to go there. But if you're a male and you go in there people will probably look at you when you walk in to determine if you're gay or not.
I hope I'm not spilling a huge secret here...I mean...it's not like you can't tell when you walk in there that 4/5 people there are gay. That 1/5 is probably a girl or someone's friend and the people that work there. In case people were hesitant to assume, I'll just tell you that everyone in that picture of Vera's is gay. Well...I'm assuming that.
Posted by piep0058 at 12:27 PM | Comments (2)
The Scariest Thing
I just realized something. For some reason I had the urge to watch Clash of the Titans. You know, the greek mythology movie with Harry Hamlin, Lawerence Olivier and some other people...
The point is, these pictures were the scariest thing for me when I was growing up.
And now look at them. They are almost funny! What's up with that? I had to close my eyes when Medusa came out I was that scared. And now it doesn't even seem real to me. Oh well, it will still be my favorite childhood movie. That and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Posted by piep0058 at 12:02 AM | Comments (1)
January 04, 2005
Oh my god I've never seen so much rain
Ok so this is the third day in a row that it's rained in St. Louis. It's just nuts! I went to the mall today and this is what I saw out of my car window.
But I ate at St. Louis Bread Co. at the St. Louis Galleria and looked around at clothes. I really wanted this red couch and arm chair from Z Gallerie...but where would I put it? In my non-existent lounge? Feeling this sadness, I headed over to Ultimate Electronics and bought two DVDs!
DVD #1: The Rules of Attraction
DVD #2: Legend
I'm ready for some high-quality cinema. Now if I just had a DVD player...and I don't, at least not in this house. I'll either have to drive down to the lake, sit in my mom's minivan, or just wait until I get back to school to watch them.
Hopefully the rain will stop so I can go out and get some gay coffee tonight!
Posted by piep0058 at 08:26 PM | Comments (2)
January 02, 2005
Damn, it's true...
Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz.
Posted by piep0058 at 05:58 PM | Comments (1)
My Mental Issues...
Hurray for more online quizzes. This one attempts to suggest a diagnosis for my mental state. Of course, as it points out, only a real psychologist could diagnose anyone...but it's still fun to see what my "issues" are.
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Low |
| Schizoid: | Moderate |
| Schizotypal: | High |
| Antisocial: | Low |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | Low |
| Narcissistic: | Low |
| Avoidant: | Low |
| Dependent: | Low |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Moderate |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Posted by piep0058 at 01:01 AM | Comments (1)
January 01, 2005
That which does not kill us...
So, as usual, I get the "oh for christ's sake why'd you go to Minnesota it's freezing up there?!" And I had to concur, it is freezing in Minnesota. And it hurts sometimes. I really don't know how people got around back in the day, before these modern inventions in personal heat insulation where discovered and marketed.
But yeah, I find pain enjoyable actually. Not at the actual time of pain infliction however...just in retrospect, seeing myself as conquering or succeeding in a struggle at a certain time. Those people down in the south, what daily struggles do they have to overcome?
Oh wait, I know, they have to deal with figuring out what paddywhack is in all those country songs.
So...as the new year comes in, it's time to look back at years past. And if there's anything i can say, is that the more we struggle, the smarter we become. This is nothing profound, anyone can see this...but what people don't see is how without struggle people don't become smarter and they don't become stronger. I like to think that people know this, deep down. They simply fear the struggle.
Here are some words to live by for the next year...I'll let you know how it works out:
The absence of struggle opposes any chance for progress of the body or mind.
Whether or not it's true is one thing. But whether or not this idea will work (for me getting better grades and getting trim), well, we'll just see about that.
Posted by piep0058 at 07:07 PM | Comments (2)