For the first blog posting, I came across a blog by a married mother of two, Natalie Singer-Velush, titled "I Didn't Have Sex for a Year, and I'm Still Married." The title itself caught my attention but it really drew me in when I started reading it. I thought that this was going to be some sort of piece of evidence stating that sex is not the key to a happy marriage, but it was so much more. Through her article, Singer-Velush takes us through the steps of how she met her husband, how everything else came next (i.e. mortgage, babies), and how they maintained their marriage through it all and kept happiness in their marriage. She argues that having a family and putting sex on hold should not discourage a couple from being happy. One thing I found very bold and credible is that she admits to not having sex for an entire year with her husband which might lead one to think that their marriage was turning a rough corner. However, she writes "Yet we still had the things that had started it all: Our yin-yang connection, our shared values, our memories of freedom-fueled fun and years of physical intimacy. And our new level of trust: We had done something that lashed us together more tightly than any expression or experience of sexual desire ever would. We had created life out of our love for each other" (Singer-Velush). I thought that what she wrote in this paragraph alone was incredibly powerful. It gave me a new way of thinking about marriage and procreation. For example, it is assumed that in general, married people love each other and therefore when they are ready to have a family they procreate. However, Singer-Velsuh explicitly states what making a child should really be about. It should not be about religion, nor politics; making a child should be an act of love. A child is the product of two people's love for one another. I feel that if more people thought about making children in this kind of way, perhaps marriages would be stronger. It seems that some people have children because that is what they are supposed to do in life, right? However, in the absence of love and a partner in crime, rearing a child can be difficult and tiring. I really enjoyed this reading and I hope that anyone who took time to read my posting will read her article.
Is there a more moral and valid reason other than love to have a child?