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The Club House

Safe space. It's funny now that I think about it. Where do I feel safe? Given some thought I find that it's not places that come to mind, but people I feel safe around. My sister, my friends, my roommates and neighbors in the dorm, my boyfriend; these are the people I feel safe around, that I feel safe being myself. That's what a safe space is about right? Being able to let lose, let go. Not having to stress about keeping an image up all the time. Feeling safe means you can be who you are. It's the people that make the space. There's nothing inherent in the places themselves; it's the people that occupy it that make it matter. Likewise, safe places can quickly become unsafe depending on whether the wrong people show up or not. The only reason these places remain the way they are is that the people there decide to. It can be something as easy as living there to actively making it a safe place. Either way, it's the people that make the space safe.

A few places I frequent are: my dorm, my house, classes, Target, the mall, and Riverdale.

My dorm and classes I’d rate safe. Target, Riverdale, and the mall I’d rate mostly safe. And home I’d rate mostly unsafe.

When I say safe I mean for myself. In these spaces it’s socially acceptable to be who I am. It would be unsafe for people who can’t be who they are, who deviate from the expected norm in those spaces. This is the reason why safe space is important. You can relax there. Take this example. In my safe spaces I feel like I can be my gay self and not get hurt, physically or mentally. Maybe that means excluding the people that would react like that. Maybe my safe space isn’t a safe space for them. Maybe safe space is like a clubhouse. Certain people get in, certain people stay out.