First of all, I made this an open thread in hopes that it'll make it easier to discuss. Also, the readings mainly talked about race, and touched on gender and sexuality, but in my summary I tried to apply the ideas to all aspects of identity.
I thought the readings were meant to pull together the ideas of unearned privilege being a tool of microaggression towards those deemed less powerful by society. In "Unpacking the Knapsack," Peggy McIntosh discusses how simply acknowledging the suppression and disadvantages of some is not enough. Those who are in positions of unearned power, like men, whites and cisgendered people, must also acknowledge their own privilege. For some this can be a difficult and uncomfortable realization, often invoking denial, and proving implications about society. As McIntosh states, " The pressure to avoid it is great, for in facing it I must give up the myth of meritocracy." The basic foundations of this country, freedom for all regardless, are a farce. We must shine a light on the inherent inequality and reshape the system, beginning with the individual. "To redesign social systems we need first to acknowledge their colossal unseen dimensions. The silences and denials surrounding privilege are the key political... tool here."
Without this acknowledgment simply taking place in society as an unearned privileged person could almost compare to a microinvalidation. By making assumptions about an experience based on your identity you leave out the possibility that the experience could be oppressive to others. Doing this perpetuates the system by validating it from a position of power. In "Microaggressions in Everyday Life," Derald Wing Sue brings up the point that making assumptions about other races, no matter how subconscious, may be more powerful and cause more damage than overt hostility or racism. This certainly applies to all spectrums of diversity.
One question I had while reading this and relating it to my life personally is why is the realization of our own unearned privilege so hard to come to terms with? Is it because it would be admitting to being guilty of a crime bestowed on us at birth? We didn't make the rules of society and we didn't choose to be born a certain race, gender, sexuality. So is it about the fear of losing the comfort that our unearned privilege affords us?
Also, how is facing up to your own unearned privilege going to change society? None of the essays read here outline any solutions except "acceptance." The problem seems to be that the solution is relying on those in power to give up their power in the name of fairness, despite the fact that power was awarded arbitrarily. Once realized, what does one in power do to actually level the playing field?
I don't know if this directly answers any of your questions... but I do think it is important to recognize that we do have an African-American president, and that does demonstrate a great leap in our values and moral as a country. However, as the first president of color I do believe Obama could do more to raise these issues to the forefront. As someone who is pretty out of the loop in terms of politics I feel out of place to say more... however, as someone in power I think Obama could do a lot to "level the playing field".
It was said that Obama should take a bigger role in raising race issues in politics. It's interesting, to me that that would be said. During his campaign there were a lot of people complaining about just that. His campaign thought it would serve to make him a sort of spokesperson for the minority community, but, in the end, people accused him, simply, of playing the race card to get ahead. In essence, it makes a lot of sense that an African-American president would be pushing equal rights, but in practice it comes off more like soapboxing.
On the subject of unearned privilege, and in response to the OP's question, I don't think that most people do find the realization of their privilege that hard to accept. The harder part is doing something about it. I can admit to the fact that I'm undeservedly privileged all I want, but that doesn't change anything. Realization and acceptance, however profound, don't exactly necessitate action, nor is any course of action apparent, as the other commenter pointed out.
The reason why it's so hard for a white person to admit and accept the unearned privilege they have is because of just that, they haven't earned it, therefore they don't really feel like they have it. Only when something is obviously given to someone can it be realized and given away again. You can't be blamed for something that past generations have done without your say or control; that "sins of the father past down to the son" crap is not a viable way of living a healthy lifestyle. The comfort of having white privilege can only exist if that person knows that they have it. Losing the comfort of the privilege is frightening when it is the only thing that has helped guide you through life. Otherwise, it won't be that scary.
To further the Obama discussion, I think a way to avoid soapboxing would be to take ACTION. This seems to be a theme that we continue coming back to, and is clearly the only way in which progress can be made.
In regards to the Obama comments, I don't necessarily believe that the fact that he is in office says much about the change of morals in society, especially since we could have had a woman president (which do you think the country would deal with better, a Black man or woman as president-which would dynamically change gender roles...) In regards to his platform, if he would have showcased race issues mainly instead of the more pressing issues at hand, then he would be seen as a Black man running for president instead of a man (Jessie Jackson did this and as you can see, he didn't go very far).
In regards to the privilege comments, the first step to addressing this issued is to really realize that you do actually do have it, but privilege is INVISIBLE. As a black woman, I have had many discussion surrounding this issue with various white people, and they fail to acknowledge the fact that their life would be dramatically different if they were a person of color. I don't think the answer is to denounce the benefits whites currently have, but make it so that other people can share those benefits on an equal basis.
Do you think total equality is possible, or would the power simply shift to a different group? Would a different race become privileged and whites would be disempowered? Is it possible to have equality, or does some part of society need dichotomy?
Basically what would happen if somehow every white, every male, and every cis-gendered person could, and did, give up their privilege in the name of equality? What would this look like and how would we make it possible?