QUESTION: Why has is become "hard" to tell if someone's gay or not?
I just thought it was interesting that I've heard it being talked about so much.
What do you guys think?
I think this is an interesting question because I frequently think about stereotypes. No one wants to acknowledge them, but they obviously stemmed (back in the day) from some amount of truth. At least enough truth to make it a majority for that specific group. Yet, I believe that you cannot possibly look at someone and assume a stereotype is true because of their ethnic/cultural/gender/class group. I think that people want it to be easier to tell because it, for some reason, makes people uncomfortable if they are not sure of someone's sexual orientation.
You will hear guys say things like, "I don't mind gay guys, as long as they don't hit on me!" as if we're scared to be hit on? Why does it make us uncomfortable? Because we don't want it? Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're going to hit on everyone around you! I just think we have this mentality that we should be able to identify someone who is gay based off of certain signifiers, which only fit stereotypes, which is problematic because most GLBT identified people are not dead give-aways and don't fit the stereotypes we have made for them. GLBT identified people are not a homogenous group that have all the same characteristics. We need to stop putting people in boxes!
I think it has become "hard" to tell because we are now, more than ever, more comfortable talking with and creating dialogue about sexual desire. And since we are more open, it is less of a problem to us. And since it is not as big of a problem more people live openly and they obviously don't conform to an outdated stereotype. Our stereotype of masculinity and femininity is such a binary that we tend to view any guy that isn't hypermasculine as possibly gay, and any woman that isn't overly girly as a possible lesbian? When people don't conform perfectly within the binary we don't know how to define them, and they don't feel the need to define themselves to everyone they meet. We just are, let's get over all the bullshit. People do not always fit into boxes, and as we evolve and become more understanding of eachother, we are less likely to fit so perfectly and cleanly into those boxes we created.