Mash Up

My mash up examines the meaning of "queer" by engaging with readings and materials from our blog that deal with the social construction of gender beginning in childhood. I have chose readings from Sedgwick's "How to Bring Your Kids Up Gay", Bernstein's "Transparent", Smilelotsplz's engagement with Luhmann and Dani's Gay Kingdom queer this. I have chosen these particular items because they all related in the idea that gender and everything that comes along with it is engrained in each and every one of us from the moment we enter this world.
I will start with Dani's Queer this from the Tyra Banks show and her episode "Gay Kingdom", so we are starting from the end product and moving to the beginning. I just want to start by saying that it was tough watching such a silly display stereotypical behavior. I understand that they are on television and are encouraged to over exaggerate themselves (I'm not sure if that is technically a valid phrase) but seriously? I digress; here is a list of the participants as they are labeled on the show:
-Michael: Masculine gay man
-Michael: Feminine gay man
-Sam: Dominant lesbian
-Kayden: Lipstick lesbian
-Sasha: Transgender woman
-Hedda Lettuce: Drag queen
-Jason: Bisexual
Needless to say we have here a representative from several sub groups within the GLBTQ community. What was interesting to me were the individual beliefs and stereotypes they held about each other and oddly enough themselves. Kayden kept referring to herself as a "straight lesbian", which I tool to mean that she was a cis-gendered female who was sexually attracted to other cis-gendered females. Hedda Lettuce was quick to bring attention to the use of those terms, expressing discomfort about the derogatory implications in calling herself straight. Watching the clip made me realize just how conditioned we are when it comes to our individual genders. Each member displayed and expressed certain characteristics that made them either male or female. In addition, they also added adjectives that helped us as viewers to categorize them more easily. What is it about our bodies and the way we represent ourselves that make it so necessary to choose categories and boxes that we can fit into? I liked this example because it demonstrated, over dramatically I might add, what the end product turns out to be when we are socialized in a way that insists that there are two genders and anyone that deviates from either must be re-categorized in order for us to understand, and more importantly rank them on our scale of importance within our society.
I want to move on to Sedgwick's essay, "How to Bring Your Kids Up Gay: The War on Effeminate Boys" and Bernstein's "Transparent". Both articles discuss raising children but from two very different viewpoints. Sedgwick's article examines our societal need to raise our little boys to grow into masculine men. Throughout the article we are introduced to the idea of Revisionist Analysis and ways in which we can ensure our boys turn into the masculine entities they are meant to be. We learn that there are good gays and then there are others. Those men that do not fit into the aforementioned category of "good" were most likely coddled by overprotective mothers and allowed to express themselves in way that in not conducive to growing up healthy. Bernstein's article is much different. In it she speaks of her experience as the parent of a gender non-conforming child. She discusses her feelings of protectiveness of her daughter Nora growing up in a world that is not comfortable with gender fluidity. She recounts stories of Nora being perceived by strangers as a little boy because of her haircut. Without the normal gender markers Nora was often automatically perceived as a male. The social constructs that are in place make it very difficult for children to express themselves in whatever manner they choose. In addition, for a parent, having to choose between allowing your child to express themselves in ways that are comfortable for them and being concerned for how they will be perceived by society must be a challenge as well. This to me is the meaning of queer, fluidity and struggle. Blurring the lines and breaking through boundaries that have been set, in order to change the way we think. This is about dispelling myths through social change, allowing children the freedom without judgment to experiment with gender and different ways of expressing themselves. If this became the mainstream way of thinking I believe we would not have any need for shows like the above mentioned Tyra show "Gay Kingdom". There would be no need for social experiments that do nothing but perpetuate ridiculous stereotypes and misperceptions. The two articles are such polar opposites, however, they are both perfect examples of the ways in which we police children and stifle their creativity and natural queerness.
This brings me to my source which is Smilelotsplz's Direct engagement with Luhmann's piece on Queer Pedagogy. It was a great engagement with the material and ties in perfectly with the idea of acknowledging that something is troubling then doing something to change it. In the engagement Smilelotsplz states, "I have always seen this desire not to know as a form of resistance in terms of not having to respond to whatever it is we do not wish to know. In not knowing we do not feel the desire to change things or act differently towards them. We can just claim ignorance, when really it is our desire to not be informed. We don't want to know that bad things are happening or acknowledge the realities of the world because then we would feel obligated to do something". This is such a great point, as soon as we start to acknowledge that something is in fact a problem we can begin to make changes toward a solution. It is no longer a matter of sitting idly by while we as humans are being forced to conform to norms that take away our individuality. To summarize, to me, queer is changing the way we present and perceive in our everyday lives. I believe it starts with a child and cultivating their curiosity and playfulness with their expression. In doing so we can shatter the oppressing boxes that we are expected to fit in when we reach adulthood. Well there you have it folks, my mash up. I hope I was convincing in conveying my idea of what queer is.