Queery Response #2

Response to Seashelbs Queery: Is it offensive to ask someone if their gay/trans/etc?

This is a great question and it has multiple answers. I, personally would not ask a person if they were gay, bi, or trans just because I think it is a little forward. I mean usually a person only thinks about asking someone of their sexual identity when they are borderline about what they think they actually are. No one ever asked me if I was gay, but when I started telling people, I got responses like, "Oh yeah, I can see that," or fooled completely like, "Haha, you're full of crap." Either way, I received feedback because I first decided to disclose of my sexual identity and was never approached by it. I will say this however, there are exceptions to when it is ok, in my opinion, to ask someone about it. For instance, if you are really close to the person, and he/she is one of your dearest friends, and you have noticed that something has been bothering him/her and you get him/her to start venting to you and the question comes up: 1) that's ok and 2) here's why: it's probably better that you brought it up, because then if your friend does decide to tell you that he/she is gay/bi/trans, he/she will feel a lot better about themselves now that they have gotten it off their chest. It is sort of a situational type of deal. Above all, the most important thing to remember is that you are touching a very personal area of another person's life, and you have to think about how they will react to how you approach the matter--play the game for everyone and think about how everyone will be affected.