For my third Direct engagement, I want to consider the idea of happiness and unhappiness, specifically, the unhappiness of the queer. In Sara Ahmed's "The Promise of Happiness", we begin to think more critically about what it means to be happy and who actually gets to be happy. We have all heard and spoken the phrase "I just want you to be happy", and this seems like a genuine concern for another person's happiness. Ahmed dissects it though to mean something very different. What we are truly saying when we use that phrase is that "my happiness is dependent on your happiness and if you are not happy than I cannot be either, which means that you have control over my happiness". How can another person have control over your own happiness? That to me is disconcerting since I know that I for one would not like to have control over another's happiness and most certainly vice versa. Or looking at it from another angle, "my happiness is dependent on yours and I want to be happy so you have an obligation to be happy for me". It seems to me that there are many expectations and demands placed on the idea of happiness when should it not be up to the individual alone to decide what their happiness should be base upon? This brings me to my next question of the unhappy queer. I for one am familiar with the coming out conversation and hearing that concerned response escape the lips of your parents, "I just want you to be happy and I think this is going to make your life harder". Which life is being made harder? Looking at the novel Annie on My Mind, the father says to his daughter, "but I want you to be happy in other ways, too, as your mother is, to have a husband and children". Is this the only way any of us can truly find happiness? By marrying someone that is biologically the opposite sex and starting a family? I sure hope not. Is the happiness that I have felt over my lifetime just a meaningless façade because I have not followed this path?