How the old-time sisters dirtied the word (but we love 'em anyway)
Disclaimer: Some of this is revoltingly inflammatory. XOXO
So I was sitting at a friend’s house the other day, and was discussing the verbal harassment of women that goes unacknowledged by the better part of society because it is so devastatingly integrated. Ok, so then someone said something about me being a feminist, and then a record probably stopped or something, but then this guy looks over and he looks appalled that there might be a feminist in the room. So he says, “Wait, you’re a feminist?� Of course, I’m uncomfortable because this is kind of my “outing�, right? Like, is this guy still going to take me seriously if I say yes, will he be cautious around me, or what? I don’t know. Anyways, so I say, “Well, I think everyone is entitled to their opinions and should believe in the notion of equality, so if that makes a woman a feminist, then yes, I guess I am.� So from there he calls me a “good� feminist, apparently contrasting to the “bad� ones that he referenced as man-hating, nonsensical lesbians.
So then I read part of Evans’ book, Tidal Wave, and it was really heartbreaking to read that the “…conservative attack on the women’s movement has trumpeted the same themes for more than a century, warning against “mannish� women and the endangered patriarchal family.� (Evans 6) Admittedly, it is a little hilarious to think that this same stereotype has been around for over a century, and is apparently still used in defining a feminist. However, it is upsetting not only because people believe it, but also because it truly stunts the movement. Women won’t get involved if their femininity is threatened, if they are afraid of being transformed into some revolting cow…or something.
Really what I’m trying to say is that our second-wave sistahs inadvertently screwed things up for us trying third-wavers. Where as in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s (some) women lived with each other in co-ops, disposed of their husbands, and pretty much devoted their lives to this new-found womanhood invoked by feminists, the girls of today realize that maybe that’s not what we want. So we refute the feminist thing altogether. Therefore, by lack of concentration within the feminist movement, no one is able to see the need for it. Thus, reinforcing the ways of patriarchy, and losing what all of our foremothers have done for us!
Alas, I find it interesting that the only memory we retain of the second-wave feminists is their then new outlook on lifestyle, forgetting that they were the ones that allowed us to take out a loan solely under our name.
Comments
I don't know how many times men and sometimes women, have asked me that stupid question, "Wait, you're a feminist?". After observing me for the evening or insisting on talking to me all night, some assert that I'm one of the good guys. However, sometimes, I'm labeled as one of the 'bad' feminists. I'm not quite sure how this happens, but I suppose it might be my supreme hatred of the above stated question. Case in point, I understand what you mean, but look out for the evil ones that place you in a box and tell you exactly what you think and who you are. Those are the ones that think you are a 'bad' egg.
Posted by: Jessica Englund | January 28, 2007 6:42 PM
I wouldn't call myself a feminist, but maybe it's just because I still don't know enough about the movement to commit to it. In high school, my good friend Katie was a feminist and let everyone know it. Even if I didn't understand feminism in the slightest, I would have supported her because thats what friends do. It was heartbreaking to hear her as the butt-end of many jokes as I walked through the hallway or ate in the cafeteria. She was called a man-hating lesbian on multiple occasions, and was always the odd-woman out at school dances because none of the guys would go with her. She was so strong though everything, and it was my experiences with her that made me interested in feminism, and thus lead me to take this course. Ultimately, I have the upmost respect for anyone who "comes out" as a feminst, and I hope to one day be able to be as strong as those of you who face the adversities of a young feminist women.
Posted by: Amanda Leibovitz | January 28, 2007 7:52 PM
I agree that people will be turned away from feminism if there is a misconception that all feminists need to be manly and live in co-ops. It's fine to have ideals, but people need to remember the reality of the world we live in. Any movement that is going to flourish needs to be flexible enough to accomodate the diversity of lifestyles and opinions of potential supporters.
Posted by: Jesse | January 28, 2007 8:42 PM
I know what you mean, in the sense of 'what are you supposed to say when a guy challenges you about being a "feminist"'? I think it's really hard to defend yourself when ideas of respect are on the line. So many guys who are 'cool' with you or think you are their friend might change their mind if they think you are one of these near-mythical 'raging angry feminists'. Yes, this might expose a shallowness in the relationships that could change over something like this, but still. We shouldn't be afraid to defend our ideas! It sucks that it's so easy to expose or 'out' a girl just for having self-worth, and to be embarrassed at it at that! I've felt that way a lot, and recently since I've been carrying around Bell Hooks' book.
Posted by: Annie | January 29, 2007 2:21 PM