This movie was difficult for me to watch, however I was very upset with myself for how little I seemed to be effected by it, at first. I'm not a monster I swear. I didn't realize while watching the film that it was based on a true story. I watched the film believing that it wasn't, and I used that assumption to help me get through it. I had heard from many people that the film was incredibly difficult to watch, and I spent the entire film on edge waiting for some scene of horrific violence which came at the very end. I think the rape was probably the worst part of the film for me. The murder scene however, had very little effect on me. I think this was a combination of the fact that I still believed I was watching fiction and because, for me, the rape scene was much more traumatic. All the while I kept thinking about how I was mostly affected by the images of rape, and not the characters story, again not because I didn't care but because I convinced myself that it wasn't real, but rape is very real and you know that it happens every day, even if it didn’t happen to a character name Brandon. Throughout the film my mind kept drifting to the Matthew Shepard story. I have seen two stage versions of the Laramie Project and the film. Each piece has been very hard for me and I always find myself in a crying fit that usually last well after the end of the film/play. So when I realized Boys Don't Cry was a true story my heart absolutely fell. It was such a difficult feeling, similar to my feelings with Laramie, but different. I keep wondering what my response to the film would have been had I known while I watched the murders that they were real peoples lives that were lost. The only way to know is if I watch it again, which I'm not apt to do.
So what’s my point? For me its amazing the difference the simple words “based on a true story� can make. With movies that feature such terrible stories, to get through them I have to remind myself that it’s not real, it’s just a film. I need to be careful that I am not sutured into the narrative. This is hard to do, but when I know I am watching a retelling of someone’s life, there is just no way to take that step back. I wonder though about the violence. I'm not an advocate of violent films. I understand that violence exists and that to an extent it needs to be addressed, but some films I feel get carried away, or they use violence for the wrong reasons. I worry that some violent films only give people new ideas, new ways to hurt others. Do I think Boy's Don't Cry does this? I don't know. It is important to address the issues of rape, hate crimes and murder, but what I think is key when addressing them is to show why they are wrong. That means the effects need to be demonstrated, not just the act. I think Boy's Don't Cry did a successful job making us understand the horror of rape. For me however, it wasn’t necessary. I didn't need to watch the actual rape to understand what it would do to Brandon, or why the crime was so terrible. Perhaps some people do. Maybe some people just can't understand until they can see it. This brings me back to Laramie. Why I love the Laramie Project is because it is completely devoid of violence, and yet, there is no way to walk away from it without knowing that the violence surrounding Matthew's death was horrible. You never even see Matthew; we don't need to fall in love with the character to feel sympathy for him. We just understand based on the effects it had on others that the crime was truly terrible.
I guess I don't know what my point is. This is a hard film, for all of us. I think what it comes down to is this. To make a statement about hate, violence, ignorance or any issue really, the best way to do so is to use a real life example, then no one can hide from it (well some people still may but you have to at that point realize those people may be lost to hate). Also it does not always take explicit violence to make a point, it’s not the images of violence but the images of the lives affected, the faces and the hurt, the emotion that get to us. But perhaps some people need to see the violence to understand. Just like I need to know it’s a true story before I’m truly affected. Maybe the shock of knowing its real is like the shock of seeing instead of just knowing it happened. I guess we all respond differently. As long as everyone can walk away from a film like Boys Don’t Cry or Laramie Project and understand that hate and violence are wrong, it doesn't really matter how they figured it out.
