Analysis: Couple identified in apparent murder-suicide in Southern California school parking lot

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By Lauren Regnier

The AP reporter for the Star Tribune's story about the murder-suicide that occurred in a Souther California school's parking lot, structures his story with the martini glass method.

They start out with a lead summarizing the important information and then get into more detail about who died where in the second, refresh paragraph. They throw a quote from one of the victims family members right under this paragraph, but it just seems out of place to me.

Next they told the chronology of events that took place through the point of view of a witness. I thought this worked really well. It was more interesting getting the story from someone who watched the shooting happen opposed to the police recounting the facts.

To tie it all together, they end the story with a kicker that plays off of that, a quote of how the witness felt while he was watching the incident happen. This, too, was successful. You could really feel his sense of shock and aw from his statement and it was a great way to end the story.

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This page contains a single entry by regni029 published on October 2, 2011 11:14 AM.

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