There are so many different ideas about how to raise children. Should you be stirict? Or how about lenient? Should you discuss everything with your kids and be an open book or should you keep things a secret and never let them know why you are making the decisions you are making? To me the style of parenting you use is like picking out a dog. I know, you are thinking this metaphor could never work but bear with me. There are many types of parenting styles in the world just like there are countless types of dogs. But which one is right? 
Not every dog is right for every person. Some people like big dogs and some like small. Some people want a low energy dog and some want a very active and playful one. So you have to do your research and find the dog that suits your personality just like you need to find a parenting style that fits your child. Some children tend to mature very quickly and would not thrive well in a tight leash and very closed off parenting style. They would quickly feel boxed in and lacking a great deal of independence and most likely respond poorly to his/her parents' wishes. On the contrary, there are those children that without a strict set of guidelines, they will fall into a lot of trouble. They need a tough parent to keep their head on straight; a parent that will not only keep them in line, but also will communicate to them as to why things are done the way they are. So when you start having kids, don't simply look at success/failure stories with your friends or in magazines. Get to know your kid first and tailor you parenting style to your own child. They will thank you for it later in life.
Parenting styles. There are so many but which to choose?
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This is why I'm afraid to have kids. It's a decision that requires dedication. What worries me most is that some parents don't even think about parenting techniques and how to teach your kids manners and respect. I don't think that an 'average' environment is enough to have your child turn out right. Parents need to be the role-model in the early years. This will likely influence who the children have later on as friends as well- it definitely did in my family. Friends do play a huge impact- but parents can control some aspects of their child's social life and influence who their friends are (at least whilst they are young).
I agree that deciding on a parenting style for your child is a very daunting task. I get nervous enough just thinking about the decisions that I will have to make as a parent one day just ensuring the health and safety of my child and making sure that they are taken care of. Then there is the whole other dimension of making sure your parenting style is best suited to your child's needs to make sure they meet all their developmental milestones and mature to the best of their ability. Every decision you make as a parent has the ability to affect your child in various ways, negative or positive. I can see why it may be difficult not to base your parenting style off of a friend or something you read in a magazine because it seems to be instructions or guidelines on how to raise. However, every child is different. I believe that it is crucial that children are in an environment that allows them to prosper and that they have parents who understand their personalities enough to choose an appropriate parenting style that will benefit their child the most.
As a parent, you can only do the best you know at the time. The support system you have is very important. I am a single mom of 2 (a 7 year-old girl and a 4 year-old boy). They are my pride and joy. I know there are a lot of things I could have done differently as I have raised them so far, but I have learned a lot. I know that I have done my best with what I knew at the time. There is no manual to raising kids and there is no decision that I would take back when it comes to them. My decisions have affected them, but I have always had their best interests at heart when I have made all of my decisions. Children really are the best gift ever.
I think you really nailed it when you said "get to know your kid first". So many parents think there is only one way to be a parent and they use their own parents as examples. This can lead to a dark path along the line. Evey child is different and will respond to discipline in entirely different ways. Parents need to realize that it's okay to give your child a little freedom and to let them make their own mistakes.
This post also made me think about being the younger sibling. As the youngest child in my family I was fortunate to have parents who had already gone through the trials of a teenage daughter and they knew how to handle most situations (mostly giving me freedom to do whatever I wanted to do). On the other hand, my older sister was never allowed to do some things and always had to call to check in with my parents. I never had to do that. Parenting is trial and error, and the sooner parents find that out, the better.
I agree that parenting can be a very touchy subject. While I have yet to be declared as a parent, and don't plan to be in any time soon, I do have an idea as to how I will be parenting my children. With agreement with my other spouse obviously, I would parent my kid as to how my parents parented me. There is no correct absolute way as to how to parent your children, you have to test the waters and learn yourself. Since everyone has different characteristics and different abilities, you also have different expectations for your children. One parent may have been a huge video gamer as a kid, and will see that acceptable for their child while growing up. But another could have been completely against that as a child and would be more concerned on being physically fit.
I am in agreement with this blog post and its amazing to realize how much stress parents put themselves under when they hear success/fail stories. They are definitly being too hard on themselves because, as the book states, as long as the parents provide their kids with the average expectable environment they will more than likely turn out just fine. What becomes a much more definable factor for how their child turns out is the environment they are put in, in particular their peers. The book explains that peers play a much larger role than parents do and I can understand why. We want to be like our friends and they influence a majority of childrens' actions because they want to 'fit it'. In the environment with their parents they don't have this pressure and do not feel as compelled to follow their lead.