The built environment… I guess I’m going to think about the buildings I’m used to, the ones I see every day. Yes, those buildings give me a sense of familiarity, because I know them. They are part of my new home (here at the University). They are familiar only though. In a way this does reflect a bit of my sense of self, because having a home is part of self. However, given the choice, I would change these buildings, as I have changed my room, my life, etc. I do not have this choice (yet). I must live with what other people have created and agree with it. Perhaps I am now realizing that the built environment to this point in my life does not support who I am. I have been places where I have felt comfortable among the built environment immediately. These are the places that I like the most. But, yet again I feel the most comfortable where I can’t see any buildings, or anything man-made. (my blank piece of paper)
I think looking at a city is like looking a piece of paper with pencil marks all over it, trying to decide how do draw something on it. I like to start with a clean piece of paper, so to say. I realize that I may never get to the point where I can actually look at a blank piece of land and have the power to say what is going to go there, and then the power to design it.
I would rather not learn to like something, as that would be changing my basic sense of who I am. Just as I would like not to gain my sense of style by looking at the works of others. I don’t like that. I believe I already have an innate sense of style and that I can develop it.
Clockworks, frameworks, phenomena… all these things I feel like I already have known, just with different words or emotions to describe them.
I guess in the end, I would like to create my sense of self, not simply get used to somebody else's.