Heading out to DC today for the annual double set of academic conferences - the first is the Asian American Psychological Association (AAPA) conference and the second is the American Psychological (APA) convention. The AAPA conference is a one-day low-key affair that is always held the day before the much larger APA convention. Truth be told (and it's no secret), these conferences are really about hanging out with your collegial buddies, drinking, staying out late, talking nonsense, and repeating it all over again the next day. Yet, the opportunity to do all of this stuff with colleagues is invaluable. I can honestly say that it has been an important part of my professionalization as a psychologist, researchers, and activist.
I first started to attend these conferences back in 1992 when I had just completed my first year of graduate school at VCU. It was a great experience as a grad student. Most importantly, perhaps, I finally had met other Asian American researchers (students and faculty) who were interested in the same sorts of ethnic minority issues as I was (e.g., ethnic identity formation, acculturation, discrimination). AAPA introduced me to so many important mentors and colleagues, many of whom I now consider dear friends. It was my academic family.
I should have expected it, but it's now been 13 years of conferencing and I am no longer the newbie, novice, youngster, student. Now, people actually look to me for leadership, career advice, research collaborations, etc. A part of me enjoys this new role/status but a part of me yearns for the anonymity that I had as a student. I still feel like I am learning, so it's hard to dispense anything definitive or authoritatively.
Mostly, at these conferences, you network - informally and formally. I've grown accustomed to this activity in all its forms...sometimes just going to the hotel bar, ordering a drink, watching a game, and chancing into conversation with another conference attendee. Other times, it's more formal like a mentorship luncheon or cocktail hour with senior colleagues. Most of the time, it is a mutual friend introducing person X to person Y. You can pretty quickly pick up whether or not the person is interested in you and your work (and vice versa).
Networking truly is an art that must be learned and nurtured. It does not come easy to most people, even those people who think they are good at it. Often, these people have a self-assessment of themselves that is askew. To what extent are you just yourself in conversation and to what extent do you have set questions to ask. I find that if you have to pull out set questions, it's doomed. There is either a natural connection or there is not and you should not force it. Maybe it's just wrong timing or context and sometimes it is just bad chemistry. Learning to let go is important in networking.
Of course, there are many hilarious moments at these conferences. Inevitably, someone makes a fool of themselves, knowingly or not. I once had a graduate student who embarrassed me in front of a senior colleague with his loud, drunken behavior. That required some talking to afterwards (he was apologetic). Usually, I find it much better to embrace such embarrassments and not let it bring you/others down. Otherwise, you just look like an ass and people will avoid you even more.
Sometimes, what looks ridiculous at first can bring you amazing fame or at least gets you noticed by people. One year, I was egged on by many others to sing karaoke and, having had a few drinks in me, I transformed into what my friend Ed now refers to as "Dr Tornado." That is, I took no prisoners with my gutteral rendition of the Righteous Bros (You've Lost that Loving Feelin'). Needless to say, I was known by all after that experience and amazingly people loved it. I think it loosened others up to be more themselves.
Then, there is always the one or two people that you just want to avoid at all costs at the conference but for whatever reason they glom onto you. They seem to be everywhere you go, in every conversation you are in, and vying for your attention around every corner. It is difficult to contend with this sort of adulation. Oh well, hopefully, I will be spared this year and (hopefully) I won't be the afflicter to another :)
So, in 2 hours, I am heading out to DC. May not be able to check back in over the next week but stayed tuned...