FamiLee Life

Hello Asia!

Hello Asia, VFW, drunk Norwegian, Black nephews...it's not a bad joke...it's what happened to us on Saturday night.

This is what happened. It started out nice enough. My friends and I went to see the Obey/Shepard Fairey exhibit at the Ox-Op gallery in downtown Mpls (behind Grumpy's). Then, we headed to Fujiya for some sushi. After having some great sushi (thanks, Kevin!) and a glass of sake, I suggested we check out the VFW down the street because they have great karaoke. You might be thinking...VFW? The VFW is a great place for cheap drinks, random mix of people, and good karaoke. Why the VFW? I have no idea but trust me.

I am with two friends (both of whom are Korean American and women). As we walk toward the VFW entrance, we encounter a large group of middle-aged Whites smoking cigarettes (a common site in Mpls after the smoking ban). This one guy with a really bad bowl haircut says "Hello Asia!" To which I reply, why not just "Hello America!" Then, to my surprise, a woman says to the guy (and us), "Yeah, why not just America!" I say to her, "Thank you", as we walk into the VFW.

So, later in the night, as I'm flipping through the songbook, the bowl haircut guy comes, drunkenly, to our booth. He asks if he can sit and then goes on to say that he was not trying to be rude, as he was told that he was by the woman friend outside. He said it was fine for me to call him "Hello Norwegian" because he's third generation Norwegian. I say that it is not the same thing because he chose to say Asia based on our skin color (not on anything else). It would be like me calling out to him, "Hello White person!" I go on to explain to him that his comment also infers that we are not American, that we are foreigners. After much back and forth in which he continues to deny over and over that what he said was racist, he then says that he has 3 Black nephews. I think he was meaning that he can't be racist because he has relatives who are racial minorities. I go on to say, "Oh, so you would say to them...Hello Africa or Hello Black people?" He then starts to accuse me of being close-minded! I have to remind him that it is no different than what he said to us. He walks away. A few minutes later, he returns to apologize. Drunk yet thinking hard, he finally starts to get it. He leaves. A few minutes later, he returns to apologize again. This time, he feels that he must buy me a drink. I decline. He persists but eventually leaves. A few minutes later, he returns with $3 that he places on the table for a drink. He leaves. A few minutes later, he returns to comment on how beautiful my friends are and to apologize. Finally, he leaves for good.

After living in Minnesota for 5 years, it's weird but I've had more of these types of encounters in the last year or two than the previous 3 or so years. Is it that these experiences never happened when I first moved here or was I simply living in denial or something else?

I think I can explain why. When I first moved here, I basically did two things. I worked a lot and I attended a Korean American church where I met many Korean people whom I eventually befriended. Because the church was my primary social outlet, we hung out together primarily in each other's homes and did not go out to do a whole lot. As I started to make more friends outside of church, explore the city, and pursue my varied interests, I began to come into more and more contact with everyday Minnesotans (aka White Minnesota).

Like everywhere else in America, Minnesota is still struggling to grasp ethnic and racial diversity. It becomes clear when you read the newspapers and their portrayal of immigrants, refugees, and African Americans. It becomes evident when you look at how racial and ethnic minorities are objectified or exoticized. And more and more, Minnesota is not prepared for when these immigrants, refugees, and racial minority groups speak out or fight back or stand up for themselves.

The ethnic and racial diversity of Minnesota is growing rapidly and it is no longer simply a matter of assimilation for most groups. In the past, Minnesota was known for the salt and pepper (Black-White) couples in which the minority was usually assimilated into White culture. That was fairly palatable to most Minnesotans and perceived as "liberal" and "open-minded". However, ethnic and racial groups are staking out their own public and private spaces. It is no longer a case of assimilation to White mainstream culture. In this new context, just how open and liberal can Minnesota become?

This diversity requires White Minnesota to begin to develop a new vocabulary set and new communication styles and patterns. It requires them to get their assumptions challenged and re-examined. It makes many uncomfortable, while some are able to embrace the changes and see the value in these dynamic shifts. And for ethnic and racial minorities, it gets tiresome and we need to remind ourselves to create change, rather than passively let things happen to us.

Still, it is tiresome. I get frustrated and annoyed and have moments where I think it's not worth it. Moments when I just get so angry and pissed. Moments when I'd like to just punch the guy but don't. Moments where I wonder why Whites don't intervene on themselves and, instead, it is left to us to defend ourselves.

Clearly, the guy at the VFW is still figuring it all out. The woman who corrected him outside, on the other hand, gets it. Thankfully, some folks are starting to get it.

Posted by richlee at September 4, 2005 09:27 AM