FamiLee Life

Awesome Dawson Reunited with Father :: A Lesson For Us All

After the Turin Winter Olympics, Toby Dawson became the first adopted Korean American to win an Olympic medal. More importantly, he raised the profile of Korean adoption in a different, more positive light than the Seoul Summer Olympics when media outlets disparaged Korean adoption (and by extension Korean adoptees). After the Olympics, he expressed an interest in finding his birth family and many many people stepped forward claiming parentage. Overwhelmed by it all, Toby withdrew from the spotlight and basked in the glory of his achievements in other ways.

Big news today -- Toby was REUNITED with his birth father. Read the story here or visit Twice the Rice for more stories. I say he was "reunited" with his father, not "found," because he was lost in a market and subsequently placed in an orphanage from which he was adopted by a Colorado couple. His father searched for him but could not locate his son. It was the glory of the Olympics which amazingly helped reunite these two individuals - father and son. It's pretty amazing.

Some quotes from Toby Dawson --

[On why Toby decided to go public with his reunion] ``I would like to change the negativity,'' he said, adding there were difficulties in growing up with white parents and being one of the few Asians in his Colorado town. ``I realized I was adopted every time I looked in the mirror -- or every time you go to the grocery store when people look at your parents and then look at you differently,'' he told a small group of foreign reporters before meeting his father.

He would like to see more South Koreans adopt abandoned Korean children because of the difficulties those children can face growing up overseas. ``They are very fortunate and it is wonderful that they were given another opportunity like that. At the same time, there is a lot of confusion and a lot of heartache about who they are.''

In understanding the complexities of international adoption, it is worthwhile to consider the myriad of reasons why a child finds him or herself in an orphanage and then placed for adoption. Often, the most convenient explanation is that the child was abandoned, but more recent research has criticized this notion of abandonment which connates a lack of want, care and love on the part of the birth parents. Othertimes, it is assumed a child was abused, product of a divorce, or some other unsettling family situation. Poverty and disease is oft cited in other countries (e.g. Africa). Still others comment on the poor social welfare system of the state, the stigma of unwed mothers, and the Confucian structure of society that prevent domestic adoption. There is some truth in many of these explanations. What is lost is the ache and loss and grief that is felt by all family members.

In the story of Toby Dawson, we learn that there can be a different story. A more poignant, tragic side to adoption. In this instance, there was a reunion. What are the hidden stories behind the other 250,000 children adopted from South Korea? And the other children adopted from other countries? There is a lesson for us in this story.

Posted by richlee at February 28, 2007 08:45 PM