FamiLee Life

The Etiquette of Growing Up an Immigrant's Kid

My friends and I have had conversations lately about proper table etiquette, specifically the correct place setting for dinner and the correct use of silverware. It's something we could have learned from reading Miss Manners or Emily Post but who has time for such things. Plus, as immigrant kids, we never had heard of these etiquette people growing up. Instead, we grew up using chopsticks and making do with spoons and forks whenever necessary.

Fortunately, my friend Holly recently found this website from (of all places) the University of Missouri College of Business which details proper dinner etiquette. If you backtrack on this website, you will find useful tips on dress and etiquette for professionals.

It's pretty interesting stuff on this site, at least for me. I've picked up on most of these things over the years, primarily from vicarious learning and observation of well-to-do White people (neighbors, teachers, strangers, tv characters). Still, it is validating to know that I now know how to do things correctly because it stressed me out growing up and feeling so clueless! The Asian shame would kick right in whenever I found myself floundering on etiquette or when someone would call me out on my lack of etiquette.

Proper etiquette is just one more thing to have to figure out alone as you grow up as children of immigrants with parents too busy just trying to make ends meet and still learning the rules and customs of this culture for themselves. But this social knowledge is important for success in society. This is for sure. You could be a brilliant person, but if your breath stinks or you chew with your mouth open or you dress poorly or you don't know how to have a casual conversation, you may not be given the chance to show your stuff.

Of course, these lessons are important for everyone (not just immigrants). I have had students who grew up poor, working class, or in urban environments and had never learned such things either. Learning how to hold a wine glass and to sample wine when poured by a waiter are the little refinements in life that can pay dividends, professionally and personally.

I am not advocating finishing school for everyone nor am I meaning to privilege high brow living. However, we nevertheless live in a society that places value on these behaviors and it is prudent to at least know these rules.

For some more tangential thoughts on this issue, read on...

Recently, there was a Wall Street Journal article on White Flight in Silicon Valley which seems pertinent to mention. In the article, it describes the educational flight of White parents who are moving their kids out of the local school system because they are concerned by the over-emphasis on academic achievement above all else which they attribute to the influx of Asian American children whose parents, by the way, see education as the primary means toward assimilation and success in American society. The alternate view, incidentally, is that White parents are moving out because their kids are no longer the top students, being outshined by Asian American children. The truth probably lies in between.

On the one hand, I find this type of White flight to be racially motivated at a deep and subtle level. On the other hand, I can understand the concerns because there is a need for children to be well-rounded. It is important for immigrant children to learn about other aspects of life beyond academics, such as sportsmanship, art, and civic engagement. These are important activities not just to help you get into college, but because these experiences help build character and identity.

Now, most immigrant parents recognize the importance of these experiences too. However, if you had to pick one thing for your child to ensure their future, which would you pick? It is hard to judge parents for their decisions. Yet it is not an either/or situation. It should be and can be a both/and situation. I often have shared this opinion with immigrant parents when I meet with them at workshops and conferences. It is amazing because most parents feel relief when I put forth this viewpoint. In their hearts, they know too and want the best for their children in the fullest sense, but get concerned and sometimes pressured by the ethnic community. It's the keeping up with the Joneses/Kims/Chens/Trans syndrome.

Okay, enough on this topic. As always, let me know your thoughts.

Fearless Filmmakers Screening Tonight!

On Tuesday nights, I play basketball with a ragtag group of artists and like minded folks who have been playing together in various groupings for over 20 years. One of these ballers, Ted Hall, is an aspiring independent filmmaker and his newest short film (Organized Crime) will be playing tonight as part of the 2005 Fearless Filmmakers Screening Event. It will take place at 7 pm at the Riverview Theater. There will be an afterparty at Nochee, located at 500 Washington Ave South, Mpls 55454.

Come check out the show! It should be a great night.

ORGANIZED CRIME
Written by Ted Hall and Directed by Sandra K. Horner

Logline: There's a way to do a job and a way to get a job done. Running Time: 15 min.

Writer/Actor Bio: Ted Hall, who plays "Lenny" in Organized Crime, has performed in more than twenty independent films. He often portrays intensely driven characters who struggle with relationships, money and a range of personal problems. This feels very natural to him. He wrote Organized Crime while in the midst of relationship madness during a frigid Minnesota February.

Items of Note: There was much coffee. Our gangsta car refused to start the fourth day of shooting.

The Meaning of Family During the Holidays

Over the holidays, we often visit family or think of family when they are too far away to visit or reminisce about family who are no longer in our lives. More than any other narrative that help define our lives, the family narrative is perhaps the most powerful one of all. It is the core of our existence, the manna that feeds the soul. Even when we disown our family, it still defines who we are and sheds light on where we are heading. Such is the power of family.

For Thanksgiving, I was not able to go home to spend it with my father or brothers. Instead, I spent the day with some friends of mine. We had a wonderful meal and spent the day tossing the football at dusk, watching the tv show Lost on TiVo, and relaxing by the fireplace. Still, throughout the day, I thought of my family. My eldest brother was in London with his family, visiting his wife's sister and her husband. My middle brother was in WA in his new home, just purchased three weeks earlier, with his son, girlfriend, and her children. My father, his new wife, and my grandmother were back in CT. To be honest, I was a bit sad because I spoke the day before with my father and he mentioned having Thanksgiving at home, just the three of them, with a turkey meal purchased pre-made at Boston Market. When I called my dad on Thanksgiving day, I was glad to hear that he had invited over a family friend and her daughter to share Thanksgiving. This family friend is a single mother from Korea who used to work for my parents and had recently returned to America because her daughter is going to school here. To me, Thanksgiving is a day meant to spend together with people - family and friends - the more, the merrier.

Growing up, we had big Thanksgiving dinners full of aunts, cousins, family friends, and literal strangers who were invited by my mother to share the day with our family. These strangers were college students and single/married people who had no family nearby to spend the day. Often, we had over 20 people at our home. It was a mad house, but a fun house. Later in the day, I would go to my neighbors next door for the annual neighborhood football game. We would drive over to the local elementary school and set up the cones for the two end zones. Adults and children would play touch or flag football. Afterwards, we would come home and eat more food, dessert, and warm up by the fireplace. Ah...childhood memories worth remembering.

Families definitely come in all shapes and forms. As we get older, I think the notion of family diversifies even more. It includes biological kins and increasingly friends. Amazingly, we never give up the notion of family. It remains an innate part of our vocabulary. Perhaps because families are the manifestation of all that is holy, we fittingly think of family on holy days (holidays).

Recently, I came across a new book on family. It is called Why Do I Love These People and it is written by Po Bronson. It is a new book, so I have not had a chance to read it, but the previews and snippets are positive [click here].

Since I have not read the book yet, the best part of Why Do I Love These People thus far is the website which accompanies it. The website provides a Factbook on Everything Family. The site contains all the author's memos on facts and figures related to family life. It is an addictive site and encourage folks to check it out.

Hopefully, as you review the facts on the website, you will think of your families and what they mean to you - the good and bad. I know that not everyone gets along with their parents or siblings or in-laws. I am not trying to guilt folks. My family has many skeletons in the closet, but they are less frightening the more often I open the closet door and look into the dark. I think that this is the function of ghost stories. We give meaning and context to the unknown and these scary things become a bit less scary, a bit more tolerable, even fun to reflect back on as adults.

Badtz is Back!

Wow, it's been nearly a week since my last entry. I had hoped to write sooner but Thanksgiving left me in a food coma over the next few days and then the university decided to upgrade the Blog system which kept me out of commission a day longer. But I'm back :)

To mark my re-entry, I decided to post a new photo of myself for this entry and chose this one of Badtz Maru -- my alter ego (hehe). Actually, a few people have told me that I look like this Sanrio character when I frown and I sheepishly have to agree with this assessment. For those interested in learning more about Badtz, here are a number of "unofficial" sites, such as Badtz-Maru.com and BadtzMaru.com, that describe Badtz. I prefer the ever straightforward Wikipedia site [click here].

Happy (Angry!) Thanksgiving

From Angry Little Girls (formerly Angry Little Asian Girl) by Lela Lee.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I want to wish everyone a Happy (Angry!) Thanksgiving. I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Of all the things, I am most thankful for my friends because it was a very, very hard year for me, but they were there for me, especially my boyz (Ken, Mike, and Ed). Around this time last year, we started to meet on Wednesday nights for a "guys night." Initially, we met at Dulono's Pizza for pizza, beer, and rambling conversations. Then, we began to explore the borders of Lyn-Lake and beyond, checking out the Country Bar, the Ballentine at the VFW, Chatterbox, and most recently the U Otter. Why these divey neighborhood bars? Karaoke! But more importantly, every Wednesday, I got to know them better and better and gradually over time these friendships have kept me afloat through some rough waters.

As an Asian American man, there is something special about finding fellow Asian American men with whom I can identify and appreciate. We are each different in lifestyles (single, married, divorced, partnered) and careers (writer, painter, web developer, professor), but we share a lot of common core values, experiences, and interests. Our conversations are always intelligent, enriching and lively. Our camaraderie unmatched. And, of course, we've got each other's back.

It is sort of like having brothers only perhaps better. As an old friend of mine said to me about why he and his friends all bought homes on the same neighborhood block, "You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends." I have to agree with this statement.

It is hard to find good, close friends. However, when you do, don't let them go. Hold on to them and cherish them because it becomes harder and harder to meet such people as one gets older. In my younger years, I used to befriend all sorts of people but many times those friendships were convenient or superficial. They lacked depth, commitment, and honor. It kept me from being bored on the weekends, but they didn't really know me well (nor I them). Nowadays, my circle of friends is smaller but tighter and more rewarding. Through them, I have gotten to know myself better and grown immensely. They've kept me real. I also think I have become a better person in society which really says something about these guys.

So, thanks for friendships (and family). Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Sexy Data

"As far as data sets, this is as sexy as it gets."

Sumie Okazaki, PhD, of University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, in talking about the large sample size and findings from the National Latino Asian American Study, which looked at vulnerability to public health problems.

I love this quote which is from my friend and colleague, Sumie, who was attending a session at the American Psychological Association convention in Washington, DC this past August. It is taken from a review of the convention in the APA Monitor (our profession's monthly magazine).

Why do I love this quote? Well, to be honest, it is because I tend to say something very similar when talking about research with my graduate students. For instance, I might say, "These study results which find an interaction effect are much more sexy than just a main effect or a bivariate correlation." I also might say, "This study design is sexier than the other one."

But perhaps the more important question is why do we use adjectives such as sexy in the first place? On the one hand, I can hear my non-academic friends quietly chanting, "Nerd alert, nerd alert!" On the other hand, there is something simply exciting, even intoxicating at times, about research. Before you again say "Nerd alert!", let me explain with a recent story.

The other day, my friend Ed invited me over for dinner with two other friends. It was a great meal punctuated by wonderful conversation on a whole host of topics, including the bizarre (rats in toilets), the personal (relationships and marriage), and the cerebral (cultivation of geniuses). Many times during these conversations, people made unsubstantiated comments based on personal experiences and insights. This is typical of any conversation really and it is what makes conversations so lively and enriching.

Now, this is what is great about behavioral science research, which includes psychology along with sociology, political science, and economics. We can test the underlying assumptions and propositions behind these comments. We can develop theories, generate hypotheses, design a study, and analyze the results.

In other words, we can advance our knowledge and understanding of an issue, as well as our certainty in our claims, in a relatively straight forward way. This is pretty cool. It is quite appealing and deeply gratifying. As gratifying as something sexy? Well, that’s a judgment call (haha) but there is a beauty to unearthing truth when finding an answer to a question. To go beyond conjecture to substantiate or validate one's claim.

I remember reading a poem in my freshman year of high school. It was Ode on a Grecian Urn by John Keats. It ends with the following verse:

'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'

Perhaps this is the sexiness of data, of research, of science. There is a corner of truth being uncovered through research and it is this uncovering that is deeply gratifying, even (gasp) sexy.

It's Alvin or Mickey in the House!

Well, I had Greg the pest control guy come by my house this morning to check on squirrel openings along the roof line. Fortunately, he could not see any new holes or cracks. On the one hand, it appears the noise is not coming from squirrels. On the other hand, it is more likely the sound is coming from mice or chipmunks who are coming in through the foundation area for warmth at night.

So what is the cause and solution?

I have some foundation cracks at the corners of the house that could be the entry points, but we could not find any mice droppings in the basement area. I will need to fill these cracks with foam. If the mice are living there, they will "eat" their way out and leave a hole in the foam. If it is a chipmunk, unfortunately, I will have to wait till Spring because they are hibernating for the winter (argh!).

Stay tuned for more adventures of Alvin (the chipmunk) or Mickey (the mouse)!

Interesting Cooking Website

In preparation for Thanksgiving, here is a website that some folks, especially those that enjoy cooking and are a bit geeky/nerdy, might want to check out. I came across it by chance while surfing Google for reviews on pots/pans and kitchen knives. It is called Cooking for Engineers. It is run by a guy named Michael Chu who is, according to the website, "a hardware application engineer for a major semiconductor manufacturer. Michael holds a Bachelor of Science from the College of Engineering at University of California, Berkeley in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science."

The site features recipes, cooking tips/notes, a community forum, reviews of kitchen appliances, an ingredients dictionary, and more. It is quite the addictive site if you like cooking.

Japan's Internalized Racism in Comic Form

The comic book image is classic cool Japanese anime style, except perhaps the message that goes with it. This is a female character from "Hating the Korean Wave" -- a very popular Japanese comic book. In the caption above, the young Japanese woman says, "It's not an exaggeration to say that Japan built the South Korea of today!" Hm...do I hear someone (or some country) whining beneath the facade of arrogance?

The NYTimes today published an article today (Ugly Images of Asian Rivals Become Best Sellers in Japan) that highlights Japan's growing insecurity as a nation, as manifested via pop culture in these hate inspired comic books -- Hating the Korean Wave and Introduction to China.

For those who have traveled lately to these countries, it is quite apparent that transnationalism and the rise of global capitalism has had a profound effect on each country. There is a lot of cross-fertilization occurring (economically, socially, and culturally) and it seems some Japanese are having a hard time accepting their now equal status with South Korea and China, perhaps feeling it has been a decade of descendency for their country. At the same time, the Japanese continue to be fascinated/enamored/emasculated by the West (principally, USA) and seem to be retreating into this idealized, illusory alliance -- like seeking comfort from a father after falling off the top of the mountain. It really is an amazing case of internalized racism in Japan that the public seems unaware of.

Of course, as a realist, I recognize that this sort of ingroup-outgroup adolescent outrage is occurring in Korea as well (and probably in China). Koreans continue to denigrate other ethnic groups, especially migrant workers from the Phillipines and Vietnam who help sustain the Korean economy, and even other Koreans, such as those refugees from North Korea.

They're Back! Squirrels in My House

Being a home owner is a great thing, except when it comes to upkeep or, in this case, pest control! As some of you know, I had squirrels and bats living in my house last winter and spent over $1,000 to remove them and exclude them from re-entry. Well, I was happy go lucky this spring/summer/fall until the first cold spell this week. Then, as I was reading in my living room, I heard the sound that pestered me all winter long. Squirrels! I assume plural. It was scampering along the ceiling/wall. Then, later in the night, I heard it scamper across the kitchen ceiling. ARGH!!!!!

I need to call pest control again to find out if it is indeed a squirrel, chipmunk, or worse a raccoon. I checked outside to make sure all the holes were covered and they were, so I have no idea how they are coming into the house.

Here is the kind of trap they use to remove the squirrels. They typically bate them with (of all things) peanut butter!.

I thought after removal that they released them across the river because supposedly squirrels can otherwise make their way back to their nesting area. However, more recently, I learned that they typically kill the squirrels. I guess it is more humane because they will die if relocated to a new area.

Read more about Minnesota squirrels at the DNR website. For example, it turns out that the Minnesota Gopher is actually a 13-lined ground squirrel!

Will keep you appraised of the squirrel situation in future posts.

White Men, Korean Women : Random Observations

Note. The original title to this entry was "White Men and Korean Women" but was changed to be more accurate. Also, please read my comment posted after this entry.

I was perusing the Washington Post today and came across this photo of Bush amongst all these Korean women in traditional dress. Given my political leanings, it's a bit tough to absorb this image.

Then again, my aversive reaction is a bit stronger to Nicholas Cage and his Korean American wife, Alice (Yong-gyong) Kim. More bizarre is this quote from Cage -- "Kimchi is in my spirit and in my mind, it balances my soul." Oh, what would Elvis say!?

Of course, the supreme kicker still goes to Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn. In describing his relationship to Soon-Yi, Allen is quoted as saying, "It's got a more paternal feeling to it." 'Nuf said.

Cool Gadget! A $100 Laptop

The photo is a prototype for an MIT-designed rechargable laptop computer for children living in developing countries. According to The Chronicle of Higher Education, the laptop will be unveiled today at the United Nations' World Summit on the Information Society in Tunisia.

Mr. Negroponte [director of the MIT Media Lab] announced plans to create the low-cost laptop and to work with developing nations, as well as with state governments in this country, to have school systems purchase the machines and give them to millions of students around the world. That would narrow the digital divide, and could spark innovations in commercial laptops as well.

The laptop runs in two modes - color and black-white - and uses one/two rechargable C-size batteries that can be recharged using a handcrank. It will run on Linux OS - which is open source - and will have between 500 MB or 1 gigabyte of memory.

MIT has set up a non-profit called One Laptop per Child to coordinate the development and distribution of the laptop. BTW, the laptop will only be available to governments (including cities/states in the US) seeking to distribute the laptop to children/families in need. It will not be for sale to the public.

Okay, I am not much of a tech geek, but this is a great innovation. Now I know what I wish I could get for Christmas :) However, after doing a bit more research on it, I may want to donate to this cause.

Memories of Mom's Cooking

Well, winter in Minnesota is about to begin, as we are expecting snow (2-5 inches) tomorrow afternoon/evening. I'm betting that we don't get a lot of snow (just a gut feeling), but according to the weather historians, November 15th is just around the median date for first snow fall in Minnesota. We shall see...

Personally, the change of weather (from autumn to winter, especially) makes me yearn for my mom's cooking. I'm not sure exactly why, though I suppose it has to do with evolution (such as fattening up for the winter) and learned associations (such as snow days and comfort food). Whatever the reason, I went ahead and bought a whole chicken yesterday and am making a chicken broth tonight. To me, there is something extremely comforting about chicken broth. It is such a great base for many different dishes, as well as tasting great all by itself. Fortunately, making chicken broth also is pretty straightfoward (skin chicken, add carrots, celery, green beans, onions, garlic, and a variety of seasonings, simmer everything in pot of water). Still, I have moments of doubt in my cooking ability.

I like cooking and people always ask me where or how I learned to cook. I always give a similar answer...I was the youngest of three boys, so I became my mom's helper. The youngest. I guess it happens when there are no daughters in the family. So, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen helping my mom (and my grandmother) out. I also tell people that my mom had owned a restaurant and Korean grocery store, and had taught Korean cooking at the local adult continuing education program while I was growing up. All these experiences has a cumulative effect, I suppose.

In addition, learning to cook with my mom (side by side) provided me with an emotional warmth and comfort that comes from being beside someone you admire and love. The psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut referred to this experience as twinship. It comes from identifying with a parent and modeling after him/her. You learn to acquire skills and self-efficacy from this experience, but more importantly you derive a sense of security and belonging from this type of experience. You realize this person looks like you, acts like you, has similar interests and values as you. These revelations are powerfully validating and serve as a fundamental foundation for your sense of self. They offer security to develop autonomy and initiative.

And so here I am many years later...no longer the child in the kitchen...nevertheless, shaped and molded by these experiences. I think I even have some reflexive conditioning which explains why my first impulse when I get worried if I am making a dish right or wrong is to reach for the phone and call my mom. Unfortunately, I can't do that anymore since my mom passed away back in December of 2002. Amazingly, it has been nearly 3 years (just 3 weeks shy), but I still want to call my mom. These phone calls would always be in the evening in the midst of my last minute preparation for a meal. I'd call and my mom always took the time to guide me along. It didn't matter if she had just gotten home late from work, was in the middle of her own cooking, or was hosting guests at the house. She always took the time to help me out, to tell me short cuts or what to substitute, to say how long to bake, fry, or steam.

Lots of people, particularly my White friends, got emotional support and love through "I love you's" and other emotional and physical forms of affection, but me...I got it through these phone calls and my mom's cooking wisdoms. In a way, it brings me back to childhood, back in the kitchen, helping my mom, side by side... These recollections and memories reaffirm me and give me tremendous comfort, strength, hope, happiness. To this day, my wanting to reach for the phone to call my mom and ask her a cooking question is bittersweet, but mostly it's sweet, sweet memories.

So, winter is upon us and it's time to make comfort foods to fatten ourselves up for the cold. For most of us, it means trying to recreate mom's cooking. I have about 2 hours of simmering to go and then I will let the chicken broth cool. I will remove the chicken carcass, remove and shred the meat, and place the bones back in the broth to suck the last of the marrow from them. Tomorrow, when I get hungry, I will add some of the meat back to the broth, throw in some rice cakes, and make myself some duk-guk (which is sort of a Korean style chicken noodle soup). And while eating it as the first snow falls, I will say a prayer to my mom to give her thanks for helping me make this comfort food.

Movers and Shakers

Came across Asian Social Network, which is a website that aims to promote social, charitable, and community-related activities within the Asian American community across a variety of states. I had not heard of it before but it seems like an up and coming site. You can check out calendar events by state, though not much is listed for Minnesota.

They also have a section called "Movers and Shakers" and it just so happens that my friends, Holly and Kim, are featured right now because of their very cool book project, entitled HERE, a portrait book of Korean adoptees living in Minnesota.

Lessons on Ethnic Identity and Foreignness in France and US

The NYTimes has an article in today's paper entitled "What Makes Someone French?" It focuses on the case of French citizens of Algerian descent who situate a unique position in France because these individuals were born in Algeria when it was a French territory, migrated to France as infants/children, and became citizens. Yet their stories are like those of the newer immigrants; they share a common theme of feeling like foreigners in their own country. At the same time, there are differences too...

[Mr. Arhab] said earlier generations like himself have had it easier than the frustrated youths in the housing projects today, because his generation had closer ties to their homelands. "When someone says to me, 'you're not French,' I can take refuge in my origins," he said, "but the young can't do that."

In other words, earlier generations could anchor themselves and find pride in their ethnic heritage. This ethnic solidarity provides stability and a sense of worth in times of discrimination and oppression. I think this same attitude/belief holds true for earlier generations of Asian immigrants who came to this country as adults with their identities already formed.

For the more recent generation of immigrants or children of immigrants, the challange is greater because they are more disconnected from their ethnic roots, even though they may seem more connected on the surface.

Most second-generation Muslim immigrants are generally no more observant than young French Catholics. But the legacy of discrimination creates the conditions for young people who feel neither French nor North African to seek an identity in Islam - often anti-Western, political Islam.

We see the same sort of retreat into one's ethnicity in the US, as well. In psychology, this phenomenon is often referred to as rejection-identification. In feeling rejected by the majority, members of a minority group identify more strongly with their ethnicity. However, how is their notion of ethnicity constituted? Is it similar or different than their parents or earlier generations? My sense is that it often is not the same. It is its own entity that is unfortunately less anchored in the collective history of its people. Without this deeper foundation, this ethnic identity is more vulnerable to extremist views.

I am reminded of the life of Malcolm X and his tranformation after visiting Mecca. He realized praying beside muslims of different colors that his original understanding of being Black and Muslim was skewed. By returing to his roots and learning about the collective history of his people, he found a more stable, secure ethnic identity that allowed him to find alternate ways to manage discrimination.

Claire Jean Kim's writings on racial triangulation are very relevant to this discourse as well.

In this model, Kim contrasts the experiences of Asian Americans with those of Whites and Blacks. She argues that Asian Americans are positioned as more foreign than Blacks, yet more valorized (i.e., viewed as more superior) than Blacks. This triangulation creates more tensions among minority groups, pitting them against each other while conveniently keeping Whites out of the conflict.

To some extent, this phenomenon (or at least the foreigner-insider polarization) seems to be happening in France. French government likes to think they are treating everyone as insiders, but the reality suggests many are treated as foreigners in their own country. The more excluded people feel from their own country, the more likely they will then seek refuge in other social groups and identities...for better or worse.

France's Race Riots

I have held back commentary on the race riots in France because I have been trying to formulate the right response. Fortunately for me, a number of newspaper editorials and opinions already have appeared to explain the riots. The Star Tribune has a racial/ethnic slant on it, while the NYTimes recently published an underclass perspective on it. However, it seems to be a bit of both and other larger socio-political forces at work.

"You're French on your identity card, French to pay taxes and to go into the army, but for the rest, you're an Arab," said Hassan Marouni, 38, who came to France from his native Morocco with his parents 30 years ago. He said he had only been able to find temporary factory jobs and is currently unemployed. [Excerpt taken from NYTimes]

Today, France announced that it will deport all foreigners arrested/convicted of rioting (see NYTimes). This latest government tactic strikes me as the wrong approach. It will only further alienate people who are rioting in part because they feel alienated from society. It may temporarily quell the riot but it will only add more fire to the situation in the long run.

Perhaps a better answer is found in a small town in France called Tourcoing.

[T]he town's Mayor, Jean Pierre Balduyck, admits that the French Republic is "shaken and unhappy". "It is a failure of the Republic - and it needs to be judged on its ability to analyse that failure and find a response," he says. "There's no dialogue. People don't respect each other. It's the result of exclusion and incomprehension." [Excerpt taken from the BBC online]

The BBC story hints at what things need to be done to make amends, such as finding common ground, working toward superordinate goals, creating dialogue among equals...hm...strikingly like the intergroup contact hypothesis that I mentioned in my earlier post today.

Death of C.P. Ellis

Who was C.P. Ellis? He was the Exalted Grand Cyclops of the Klu Klux Klan (KKK) and a fierce advocate of Civil Rights for African Americans -- an apparent contradiction that makes sense only through the lens of history and psychology. Ellis died last Thursday in Durham, NC at 78 years old.

CP Ellis and Ann Atwater [pictured above] were bitter Black-White enemies during the late 1960s and early 1970s but later they became unlikely friends who worked together to advocate for desegregation in Durham, NC. A movie, Unlikely Friendship, describes the transformation of Ellis and the redemptive powers of friendships across racial lines.

The event that converted the city's oft-praised "odd couple" from adversaries to allies was a 1971 community discussion session about the violence occurring as Durham tried to integrate its schools. Ellis and Atwater co-chaired the 10 days of 12-hour talks, forging not only the unusual friendship but profoundly changing Ellis' deeply rooted segregationist thinking.

They became such close comrades that, after the meetings, Ellis renounced his position as Exalted Grand Cyclops of the KKK, repudiated segregation and joined Atwater in working to desegregate the Durham school system. [excerpt taken from the LA Times]

In many ways, the Ellis-Atwater alliance exemplifies the intergroup contact hypothesis which proposes that prejudice can be reduced between two opposing groups under the right conditions.

Gordon Allport (1954) formalized the theory, stating that intergroup contact would lead to reduced intergroup prejudice if the contact situation embodies four conditions: 1) equal status between the groups in the situation; 2) common goals; 3) no competition between the groups; and 4) authority sanction for the contact.

In the case of Ellis and Atwater, the city council meeting, sanctioned by the city/state, brought together two community leaders equal in status working together on a resolution to desegregation. It forced them to acknowledge each other, to treat each other with respect, and to attempt to understand each other. In doing so, it helped them to look beyond differences toward understanding the common problems facing each group.

What lessons can we learn from Ellis-Atwater? Today, we continue to be quick to judge people who appear different from us in physical looks or in values. At a basic level, there is a protective function to this sort of stereotyping, but it quickly falls apart in a complex society where things are not always what they seem. Yet many times, many of us do not even recognize when we are stereotyping or we justify this attitude/behavior through some sort of rationalization that really would fall apart under close scrutiny.

So, we have choices to make -- to act ignorantly or to act wisely. Put another way, to act as Ellis "the enemy" or Ellis "the friend."

Voter #272, Gambling, and Patriotism

Note. This entry has been edited (slightly) since its original posting

It's election day, although many people may be unaware of it. As an off-year election, there are not many big state or national races today. Living in Mpls, we have a mayoral election, a city council seat open, and a park board seat open (and some other smaller races). I was voter #272 in my district.

To find out where to vote or whom to vote for, check out the Star Tribune Politics section which allows you to find your voting precinct and find out a bit more about the candidates.

In my opinion, the most important vote is for the city council seat because Mpls has a relatively weak mayoral system in which the city council holds more legislative and administrative power than the mayor. In addition, the two mayoral candidates are not very different, given their party affiliation is the same (DFL) and their platforms are very similar (better schools, less crime, more police).

Need another reason to vote? How about equating voting with gambling? A few weeks ago, we had a big PowerBall lottery worth nearly $300 million, if I remember correctly. I confess to having bought $4 worth of tickets, winning absolutely nothing like most people. If you love to gamble and to win, then vote. This year is a good time to vote because it is an off-year election (no gubernatorial or presidential election). Not as many people will vote, so you will increase your odds of picking a winning candidate. I know, silly logic, but just trying to find more ways to inspire folks to vote and to make a difference in their local communities.

On an arts-related note about politics, there is a new multimedia play at the Varsity Theater in Dinkytown called Patriot Acts.

What is patriotism? What role with art play in the "war against terrorism"? What role does race, culture, and class play? What is an American? How do we engage in an international dialogue? What does freedom feel like? What does it mean? What Acts of Patriotism can you implement on a day-to-day basis? Canvassing an international array of artists' voices, LP: Patriot Acts uses one on one interviews, video, performance, song, spoken word, storytelling, visual arts, photography, music, and movement. Curators e.g. bailey and Sha Cage, in partnership with some of the most prolific artists from the UK, the USA, and France, challenge, anger, humor, and above all provoke in this revealing work of new theater.

My good friends, Ken and Me-K, have a great video piece in Patriot Acts. I plan to check out the show on Wednesday night. It only plays till Wednesday, so go today or tomorrow!

Midwest: It's in the Middle

Sorry for not posting the last few days. I was in southern California for a childhood friend's wedding. My friend Pete (the groom) lives in Redondo Beach and the wedding reception was up the hill in Palos Verdes at an Inn overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was quite stunning and a perfect wedding location. Pete and Tina (the bride) looked great and were very gracious hosts. I wish them all the best!

It also was great to see many of my high school friends from Connecticut. We have an amazing tradition of attending each other's weddings, even though we now live all over (MN, FL, NY, MA, CT, NC to name a few). It's surprising for many people to hear that a dozen or so of us are still good friends, but it is one of those little blessings in life.

People always ask me about living in Minnesota when I attend this sort of function. As an East Coast/New England product, I think people are surprised to learn that (a) I am living in the Midwest and (b) I actually like living in Minneapolis. To be quite honest, I too am surprised by this reality. I never ever thought I'd be here, but I am.

Well, it just so happens that I am not the only one. Today's NYTimes has an article titled "Saying Goodbye California Sun, Hello Midwest" that addresses this new phenomenon.

Last year, a half million people left California for other parts of the United States, while fewer than 400,000 Americans moved there. The net outflow has risen fivefold, to more than 100,000, since 2001, an analysis by Economy.com, a research company, shows, although immigration from other countries and births have kept the state's population growing.

Much of this migration out of California is attributable to the high cost of housing/living and new/better job opportunities elsewhere.

There are some wonderful aspects to life in California, but there are lots of downsides too (besides the high cost of living), such as the superficial lifestyle and insane traffic. Moreover, it's hard to compare when you have not lived elsewhere. This is my beef with people who have geocentricism (my word for people who have a myopic view of places to live). Having lived in California (1995-1997), as well as CT, MA, VA, TX, and now MN, I can see the pros and cons to each location and it's not so bad in Minneapolis. I rank the city very highly in my places lived and visited.

In psychology, we often talk about person-environment fit (PxE fit). The basic idea is that people vary tremendously on a variety of personality traits, interests, and values and different environments may be a better fit for person A than person B because they have a different set of dominant characteristics. The better the fit, the greater the life satisfaction.

A corollary to PxE fit is the idea that dissatisfaction often comes from basic needs not being met (e.g., safety, housing, money), but satisfaction comes from higher needs being met (e.g., friendships, fulfilling job). If you have a good job and a close family nearby but you can't make ends meet, you may still feel dissatisfied with your life circumstances.

I believe that this PxE fit model (and its corollary) holds true for where we choose to live and the extent to which it contributes to our well-being. Amazingly, I do not think people have ever studied this macro-version of PxE fit. It is usually reserved for the study of careers or vocational interests.

So to me...what makes Minneapolis a good fit for me? Among the most obvious, a job that I love in a supportive department/university, a city that is rich in arts and culture, a neighborhood that is within the city limits but without the traffic and high density that makes you feel overwhelmed, a core group of friends with similar interests who also live within 2-3 miles of me, great restaurants and museums, a city lifestyle that is just fast paced enough but not too fast, a growing diversity in the city population, and innumerable opportunities to engage in civic life. Plus, it is affordable as a place to live and I feel welcomed and safe here. In other words, my basic and higher needs are met.

Value of My Blog and What To Do with $1,000

So, I found this website that estimates the monetary value of one's blog. How much is FamiLee Life worth? FamiLee Life is worth $1,129.08

Hm...I am not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. Well, given that I only average about 20 readers per day, I guess this is not so bad. If I was able to increase my readership, let's say double the number, would I simply double the value or is it exponential?

So FamiLee Life is worth roughly $1,000 (give or take $100)...This is actually a game that I play with some friends. I ask them...What would be do with $1,000, if you could only spend it on one thing or one unit of activity. For example, I have said that I would spend $1,000 to buy matching dinnerware, a wine cellar, new golf clubs, 7 custom made dress shirts, a karaoke system, Blenko glassware....

What would you do with $1,000?

Terrorism, War...Playboy?

The Chronicle of Higher Education is the academic's version of the Wall Street Journal. It is where we go to learn about the politics and culture of higher education and to feel the pulse of campus life and cutting edge research. That said, the Chronicle also sometimes has funny news items...well, funny to nerdy/geeky academics maybe. Take, for instance, the social psychology research by Terry F. Pettijohn II at Mercyhurst College. In an article, titled When Times Are Tough: 'Mommy!'[available for the public for 5 days], his environmental-security hypothesis is tested in a very novel way.

Mr. Pettijohn has made an academic career of testing what he calls the environmental-security hypothesis — a theory that people's aesthetic and sexual preferences are partly determined by prevailing social and economic conditions.

To test the theory, Mr. Pettijohn has collected years of data on Playboy's Playmates of the year, Billboard's yearly No. 1 hits, and top-grossing movie actresses, and has correlated them with a "hard times index" of various social and economic indicators from the relevant time periods. So far, the psychologist's hypothesis has held up.

Boy, it makes my research seem far less exciting and definitely less sexy. Hm...maybe I need to rethink my conceptualization and operationalization of cultural socialization...

Wikipedia and the Quest for Knowledge/Trivia

I learned on the TEDblog that Wikipedia -- the free online encyclopedia that is edited by the people and for the people -- might go print [read CNN report].

To me, Wikipedia is an amazing concept that reflects the democratization of the internet. It allows the everyman and everywoman to learn something new each day and to add to this knowledge base when appropriate. It is free (albeit requiring internet access) and geared toward the layperson, so it is not overly abstract or written in Alan Greenspan-esque language.

Growing up, I remember that people used to try to memorize one new vocabulary word a day or try to memorize a bible verse a day (okay, it was my mom). For me, I have been visiting Wikipedia each day to learn a new fact.

I know it is an excessive amount of trivia to acquire on a daily basis. I sometimes wonder how much extra brain capacity I would have for other, more purposeful activities, if I didn't have so much trivial knowledge. But I look at it from the other perspective. Learning something new each day keeps my mind sharp and ever expanding. Sort of like doing crossword puzzles each day. I hope it will keep me cognitively sharp into old age. Then again, maybe that's just the academician in me.