FamiLee Life

Awesome Dawson Reunited with Father :: A Lesson For Us All

After the Turin Winter Olympics, Toby Dawson became the first adopted Korean American to win an Olympic medal. More importantly, he raised the profile of Korean adoption in a different, more positive light than the Seoul Summer Olympics when media outlets disparaged Korean adoption (and by extension Korean adoptees). After the Olympics, he expressed an interest in finding his birth family and many many people stepped forward claiming parentage. Overwhelmed by it all, Toby withdrew from the spotlight and basked in the glory of his achievements in other ways.

Big news today -- Toby was REUNITED with his birth father. Read the story here or visit Twice the Rice for more stories. I say he was "reunited" with his father, not "found," because he was lost in a market and subsequently placed in an orphanage from which he was adopted by a Colorado couple. His father searched for him but could not locate his son. It was the glory of the Olympics which amazingly helped reunite these two individuals - father and son. It's pretty amazing.

Some quotes from Toby Dawson --

[On why Toby decided to go public with his reunion] ``I would like to change the negativity,'' he said, adding there were difficulties in growing up with white parents and being one of the few Asians in his Colorado town. ``I realized I was adopted every time I looked in the mirror -- or every time you go to the grocery store when people look at your parents and then look at you differently,'' he told a small group of foreign reporters before meeting his father.

He would like to see more South Koreans adopt abandoned Korean children because of the difficulties those children can face growing up overseas. ``They are very fortunate and it is wonderful that they were given another opportunity like that. At the same time, there is a lot of confusion and a lot of heartache about who they are.''

In understanding the complexities of international adoption, it is worthwhile to consider the myriad of reasons why a child finds him or herself in an orphanage and then placed for adoption. Often, the most convenient explanation is that the child was abandoned, but more recent research has criticized this notion of abandonment which connates a lack of want, care and love on the part of the birth parents. Othertimes, it is assumed a child was abused, product of a divorce, or some other unsettling family situation. Poverty and disease is oft cited in other countries (e.g. Africa). Still others comment on the poor social welfare system of the state, the stigma of unwed mothers, and the Confucian structure of society that prevent domestic adoption. There is some truth in many of these explanations. What is lost is the ache and loss and grief that is felt by all family members.

In the story of Toby Dawson, we learn that there can be a different story. A more poignant, tragic side to adoption. In this instance, there was a reunion. What are the hidden stories behind the other 250,000 children adopted from South Korea? And the other children adopted from other countries? There is a lesson for us in this story.

Korean Adoptees in Korea

Got a heads up on NPR broadcast about Korean adoptees living in Korea. Click here to listen.

Why Minnesota?

I have now lived in Minnesota since August of 2000 and, suffice it to say, it has become home to me. Of course, I have learned to call home wherever I may be (something I've learned to do after living in five states since leaving home home), but I do feel much more settled about a life in Minnesota. It's strange to admit though.

Anyway, I was looking for something on the UMN webiste and came across this new online campaign to promote living in Minnesota (largely designed for faculty recruitment, I think). It's called "Wish You Were Here" and I encourage folks to check it out. The design and feel of the website is quite nice and there are a number of very interesting "Minnesota facts" sprinkled throughout. Plus, lots of great links. For example, I discovered the "Guaranteed Ride Home" program offered through the Metro Transit. It is basically an incentive for bicycle, bus, and carpool commuters. Once enrolled, you receive two coupons that can be used for a bus or train ride, or for cab fare up to $25. Each six months you receive replacement coupons with your program renewal. That's pretty cool!

I also learned that...Minneapolis is one of the most heavily biked cities in the country, with an average of 10,000 people riding daily for commuting and recreation (there are significant seasonal variations, but many people bike year-round). In fact, Minneapolis has a higher percentage of residents who commute by bicycle than any other large city in the country. There are 34 miles of on-street bike lanes and 56 miles of off-street bike trails in Minneapolis alone. In Hennepin County, there are more than 400 miles of trails and designated routes

And, I found all sorts of interesting facts about my neighborhood - Lynnhurst - at the city website. Important things such as the fact that there are 5,613 residents in my neighborhood (according to the 2000 census). The median income is also very high at $95,000 (vs. $38,000 for all of the city).

Well, explore the WIsh You Were Here site and feel proud to call Minnesota your home.

Slippery When Wet

The Tuesday night basketball crew played ball on Monday night and it must have been a bad sign of things to come. Plus, as the chiropractor said to me from the last time I was injured (sadly, pulling a rib muscle from coughing), I may look young but my body is getting old. And Monday night proved it is so.

I arrived early, swept the gym floor, and then Big Steve (we have two Steves) mopped the floor. Meanwhile, I decided to practice my left-handed layups. Seeing Steve is no longer mopping, I proceed to drive to the basket on what I thought was the dry side of the floor. Wrong. Literally like the stick figure person in the Slippery When Wet sign, both my legs went up in the air and I landed hard on my lower back. Wind knocked out, I winced, gasped, and got to my feet a bit dazed. Seconds later, pain shot up my back as I planted my right foot. Uh oh, not good.

I walked gingerly for 15 minutes, trying to identify the sore spots, stretching as best as possible to keep from seizing up. Eventually, I played bball with modest pain and lots of caution. By the 5th game or so (we play short games up to 7 pts), I was feeling more loose and not in as much pain.

At night, I iced it, put on some natural ointment of some sort that is supposed to help healing and had a sound sleep. Yesterday, I felt sore but okay. Not so bad, except when I twisted my body or did some other jerking motion. Today, I am feeling sore still and stiffer. Not good. I will give it a couple more days to heal and then re-assess.

Lesson of the week -- I am getting old.

Wrestling is Wrestling

I was a high school wrestler back in the day in Connecticut. I started wrestling largely because it was one of the sports that my older brothers had competed in. And, being the youngest of three boys, I usually just followed in their foot steps. Prior to high school, I only knew wrestling as the kind you saw on tv when the likes of Andre the Giant and Jimmy Superfly Snooka ruled the ring. Hulk Hogan came a bit later. I recall not realizing how physically grueling it was as a sport. You wrestle only for 6 minutes max/match, unless you win/lose by a pin, but it is the most taxing 6 minutes ever. Lucky for me, I was pretty good at it and it really helped me focus my energies, give me confidence, and teach me a lot about discipline, motivation, leadership, goal setting, and the like. I am quite thankful for the sport.

At the time when I was in school, back in the mid-1980s, I remember hearing stories of one or two girls who were wrestling co-ed but I never competed against them. I actually don't recall ever even seeing a match between a boy and girl. The idea of young men and women wrestling was just started to enter the radar.

The NYTimes has a regional article on high school girls wrestling and they feature a young woman from Connecticut who wrestles for Montville High School. I remember competing against this team in tournaments. They have always been a good team and it still seems to be the case today. Jessica wrestles at 102 lbs. but often gets bumped up to 112 lbs to find competition and she is good (with a 23-12 record). Those were the weights that I had wrestled in high school (yes, I was a small, skinny kid!). It really says something about the sport, particularly the ways in which it has come to by and large accept this changing demographic. It also really says something about young women like Jessica too. The story has a great video clip that accompanies it. Check it out here.

Cho-mama! Margaret Cho

Today is my marathon meeting day from 11 am (right now) to 5 pm, I am in lab meetings. Fortunately, I have something on Saturday night to look forward to make it all better. Margaret Cho is performing on campus as part of the Alphabet Soup 2007 conference (Midwest BLGTA College Conference). Nothing like laughter for the soul

Alpha Cooking :: Guilty as Charged

HW told me about this NYTimes article on alpha and beta cooks in relationships. Ironically, we were talking about this article last night as we (really, she) made a tasty Thai chicken and bok choy potato dumpling soup. I got home late and dinner preparations were already underway. Tired from a long day, I simply let her do most of the cooking - very atypical of me. On occasion, I intervened, sauteeing the chicken and working on the stew while she made the dumplings (a much harder task). It's all worth noting because, truth be told, I am an alpha cook. But I was not always one.

Growing up, I was spoiled like any immigrant kid would be who had a working mother who owned a restaurant and later taught cooking and a grandmother who spoke no English, never left the house, and was responsible for cooking and cleaning for three unruly grandsons. I ate wonderful food all the time. Then, later as I got older and poorer (thanks to graduate school), I slowly began to learn to cook. I watched my mother and grandmother cook whenever I went home for the holiday, picking up little lessons on how to season, cut, etc. Soon, these silent observations turned into phone calls to my mother asking her to help with a recipe or to salvage a cooking disaster. By the time I had finished graduate school and accepted an academic position, I was more confident in the kitchen.

Sometimes social comparisons can help a person to achieve greatness and other times it can disable you. When I moved to Austin, TX to begin my academic career, I discovered a great group of friends in which most of the men were amazing cooks (chefs, to be honest). Their partners, well, as Borat says, "not so much." These men made stews from scratch, experimented with recipes for weeks before ever serving it to friends, and knew the strange science behind cooking. I was envious and terribly intimidated. In this context, I was the beta cook and never dared show my novice cooking skills. Instead, I just enjoyed eating their gorgeous food.

In 2000, I moved up Northland and found mysef alone again in the kitchen. I started to call my mother from time to time for cooking advice and gradually started to cook for students and friends. Relationships would spring up then and again and I found myself taking the lead in the kitchen. As I found myself more economically settled, I began to enjoy shopping for kitchenware (fancy pots and pans, utensils, random spices), buying cook books, and subscribing to cooking magazies (right now, it's Food and Wine). Cooking was relaxing and enjoyable. At some point, I became an alpha cook.

Nowadays, I run the kitchen. I am not a great cook by any stretch but I really enjoy cooking (and experimenting to improve upon recipes, such as my bulgogi v.3 recipe). I also get impatient when I see something going wrong and find myself sometimes biting my tongue when cooking with a partner. Other times, I offer unsolicited advice. In the end, it's about accepting roles, adjusting expectations, and always ending up with a good meal.

Minus 1 Riding

Paul convinced a group of us last night to head over to the Blue Nile for a beer tasting from the new local brewery Surly. Then, through the power of persuasion, he convinced me to ride my bike to the event. After a potluck dinner, CC joined in the bike ride and he and I made our way there in falling temps (around +15 degrees). Paul and others were there awaiting for us. I dressed warmly but not too warmly and the ride from home to there (and back) was not bad at all. In fact, it was refreshingly invigorating. I only wish I had a merino wool balaclava to keep my cheeks a bit warmer. It was my first winter ride and I enjoyed it. Pulled out the Bstone X03 for this ride. I was a bit worried because I only had slick tires on the rims but it worked out fine. It was cold enough outside, however, that the plastic slider on my front light snapped off, so I rode without a white light (not good!). I did have two rear blinking lights to compensate.

Inspired by last night's ride, I rode again for a little bit around the lake prior to coming to work. Well, it was a bit chillier this morning. It was around -1 degrees but windchill made it feel around -10 or -15. Still, I was surprised at how my body was not cold. Again, it was only my cheeks which took the brunt of the cold. Hm...I need to rethink the idea of winter riding.

Art a Month Musings

I made a decision a year or so ago to try to purchase more artwork. My impetus was a strong desire (a) to actually decorate my home's very bare walls and (b) to support local artists. My stated goal at the time was to purchase one piece of art a month and my end goal was to host an art reception in which I invite the twelve artists whose works I had purchased in the past year and as many friends that can fit into the house. Perhaps, I thought, some other friends would feel inspired to purchase more art from these artists. Great idea, right?

Well, after the purchase of one photograph from Wing Young Huie, my monthly art purchase stopped. What happened? First, I had not correctly calculated into this equation the true cost of framing. Second, I had not realized the importance of actively searching out the next art piece for purchase. Third, I had come into possession of two (and now three) paintings from my father which required a fair amount of money to frame.

Fast forward a year....

A couple of weeks ago, I attended the 55408 exhibit at Intermedia Arts. I wrote about it here. While at the reception, hanging out with friends, singing a song or two (Thunder Road by the Boss and, for the first time ever, All Night Long by Lionel Richie), I decided to take a look around at the artwork. The 55408 show is unique in that anyone who lives in (or around) the 55408 zipcode area can have their work shown. Now, this strategy may seem dangerous (what crayon drawings on a napkin from the Uptown Bar might end up on display?) but it seems to work. Obviously, some works are stronger than others, but it's a great tribute to the plethora of working (and weekend) artists residing in South Minneapolis.

Well, I ended up buying three pieces of felt art by local artist Margaret McGee who is a professor at MCAD. I purchased the one that is above and two similar ones (see the rest of the Molecules series). They are still on display at IA till mid-March, so feel free to check them out!

This spur of the moment purchase has really got me motivated to re-start this "art a month" project. I may have to scale back a bit on other things to make it affordable, but it is something I would really like to do. So...which artist is up next? Suggestions are welcome.

The Long Way to FamiLee

Sometimes people find my blog the loooooong way. Take for instance, the person who decided to search on ask.com one of the longest search phrases that I have ever seen.

When playing basketball on an unusually warm spring day, you notice that the ball is very firm and bounces well. on a very cold day a week later, the ball is not as firm, making it difficult to drebble [sic].

Well, FamiLee came up #6 on this search though I have never written about this subject. A quick google of the keywords "basketball cold air" however brought me to this site which led me to this home site on sports science. A very cool site!

Generally, cold balls are less bouncy than warm ones. That's because cold rubber is generally not as flexible as warm rubber. When a cold ball hits the floor, the deformation that follows the collision is concentrated at the bottom of the ball. This concentrated deformation causes the rubber molecules to collide with each other, producing warmth rather than rebound.

Okay, this sports science site may be something for me to explore. They have a series on the science of cycling. So, to the person who searched me the long way, thank you for the unexpected find!

Korean Fried Chicken! Finger Licking Good.

Photo courtesy of NYTimes

Doesn't it look tasty! Korean fried chicken. Ah, I remember growing up with this stuff. It is not the same as American southern style fried chicken. As the NYTimes article describes, Korean fried chicken is crispier, less greasy, perfectly yummy. Definitely great with beer. I have tried over the years to replicate my mother's recipe and have not succeeded thus far (I have, however, succeeded in replicating and -gasp - I think improved upon her bulgogi recipe). For the fried chicken, I think she used corn or tapioca starch as part of the batter (not flour) but I can't recall precisely.

Funny timing for this article because I had bought fresh chicken wings last week and had hoped to experiment for Super Bowl Sunday. Instead, I was lazy and never got around to it. However, I do have those chicken wings waiting for me. This article has gotten me motivated again.

Completely Heterosexual?!

Apparently, it is important to know that Ted Haggard, the disgraced evangelical minister who stepped down from his ministry after allegations of drug use and sexual promiscuity, is pronounced ‘Completely Heterosexual’. Click here for the full story.

According to the NYTimes story, Haggard was in three-weeks of intensive counseling and one of the ministers who oversaw the sessions announced, ''He is completely heterosexual,'' Ralph said. ''That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''

Later in the article, it is revealed that Haggard and his wife plan to pursue graduate degrees in psychology.

Haggard said in an e-mail Sunday, his first communication in three months to church members, that he and his wife, Gayle, plan to pursue master's degrees in psychology. The e-mail said the family hasn't decided where to move but that they were considering Missouri and Iowa.

Hm, it's sad and ironic on so many levels.

Famous Friends :: A Reporter's Take on the War

When I was in graduate school, I befriended a total stranger one day. It happened as I was getting my haircut and I was eavesdropping on the conversation going on at the next hairstylist's chair. I forget the conversation but I recall that it was an animated Asian American woman who was carrying on about something. Laughter seemed to fill the room. After the haircut, I was grabbing a drink next door at a local watering hole when this laughing person walked by. On impulse, I introduced myself to her and we briefly chatted. Sensing I was safe, not creepy (and probably surprised to meet another Asian American in Richmond, VA), she invited me to her birthday party that upcoming weekend. Well, fast forward 15 years and we are still friends!

The other day, as I was preparing for work and listening to NPR on the radio, I heard a story about Ali al-Marri, the only person being held as an enemy combatant on U.S. soil. I think Ari Shapiro was reporting on it. I thought to myself, this is so whack!

Well, it turns out that Ari was not the only one reporting on this story. That is, my laughing, haircut friend of 15 years -- Zinie -- was and still is a reporter for the Associated Press and continues to live in Richmond. She also wrote a great piece on the (il)legality of the detainment of what Bush calls "enemy combatants." It is a very fascinating legal case on Constitutional rights with clear implications for immigrants and refugees. Read her story by clicking here. From the article:

"If the U.S. can do this, it's contrary to the Constitution," Motz said. "It would give other nations the ability to do that by declaring a U.S. citizen an enemy combatant."

The case, which is expected to reach the Supreme Court, could help define how much authority the government has to indefinitely detain those accused of terrorist acts and to strip detainees of their right to challenge the lawfulness or conditions of their detention.

Friday Haiku :: Minus Two

Some people have a Friday Cat blog. I have decided to start a Friday Haiku blog posting. A quick google search of "friday haiku and blog" reveals that this is not a novel idea! Nevertheless, I am going to attempt it. It may not occur every Friday, but I shall do my best.

Title: Minus Two

My thick blood chills at
Winter nadir's arrival
Birds begin flight home