FamiLee Life

Sun Follows Rain

Yesterday was a hot, humid, rainy day. It reminded me of those childhood summers without air conditioning in the house. I would make orange juice popsicles using the popular-back-then (and becoming popular again) Tupperware popsicle maker to stay cool and then expend all my energy outside riding my Rampar bmx bike on the make-shift bmx trail in the backyard. When I awoke in the morning, I was figuring out if I should ride or drive to work. After listening to NPR and eventually hearing the weather report, I whimped out and drove to work. It is becoming strange to drive my car to work these days, as I increasingly ride the bike. That said, I was glad I drove because there was a nasty downpour just as I was leaving work. It stopped for a few minutes and then came down hard again as I got on the highway. Phew.

Later in the night, I met up for a ride with the regular Wednesday guys, meeting Hapa9 at his house and then PhT, Kurt, and Sergio on the greenway. It was nice and cool out with a little sprinkling to keep it real. We arrived at the Poodle to send off the Korean Dream (EBL) who was heading out to Europe and then an artist colony (not ant colony as I first thought when he emailed me). There was a new karaoke jockey working there and no one was signing up to sing, so the poor soul had to sing maybe 6 straight songs. We were eating and had to endure it. It got us thinking that a person should have a decent singing voice if one is going to be a KJ. Later on, Cross arrived and we workshopped some new songs. My four songs were "Great Balls of Fire" (JL Lewis), "Let's Dance" (Bowie), "I Love Rock and Roll" (Jett), and "Purple Rain" (Prince). The ride home was dry but still humid. Nothing like coming home feeling all sticky from the humidity.

But sun follows rain and today is gorgeous. The air is crisp, the sun is shining bright, and there are few clouds in the horizon. A perfect day to ride one's bike. I like to think that we sang away the rain and ushered in the sun.

The Tipping Point of a Canoe...

on a lake on Memorial Day. It was quite the adventure and quite the christening of Sun-e, my new canoe. She is named after the famed Korean admiral, Yi Sun-Shin who is an ancestor of my family - part of the Deoksu clan. Of course, Admiral Yi was a man (and tradition dictates the ship's name must be feminine), so I just took the first part of his name and feminized it (pronounced, Soon-ee).

For her maiden voyage, I organized a group of friends to go canoeing on the Chain of Lakes and it was a wonderful outing. Peter met at my house to pick up my neighbor's canoe and we made our way down to Lake of the Isles where his canoe and Mike/Sarah's canoe were located. The convening of friends occurred at 12:30 pm and we made it onto the lakes by 1 pm. Four canoes in all with 10 people. Sun-e carried H-Dub, Kurt, and me. She handled the water admirably.

After 3 plus hours on the water working our way through Isles, Cedar and Brownie lakes, we decided to head back to shore. H-Dub took over the stern, steering, and I sat up in the bow, paddling. Kurt enjoyed the scenery in the center spot. Then, just a couple hundred yards from shore, we capsized! Yes, we tipped the canoe on her first outing. Fortunately, we were all safe, no possessions were lost, and Sun-e was in good shape. A fellow boater came over to help us gather our stuff and right the canoe, followed by our fleet of three canoes who offered help in between chuckles of laughter.

We eventually made it back to shore, a bit embarrassed, a bit disheveled and wet, and full of good memories.

Later in the evening, after showering up, we rode our bikes over to Peter's home for a bbq. A perfect ending to a wonderful, memorable, Memorial Day.

Now for some pics of the canoe outing. Enjoy.

The group, canoes rafted together

Hapa9 and PhT enjoying the good life

Kurt flexing (showing his strength before the capsizing)

HDub enjoying the sun and cameraderie

Stolen Bike (RECOVERED)

My friend Paul had his Surly bicycle stolen a week or so ago from his garage. It was a total bummer. The bike was a fixed gear one which means you cannot coast on the bike. You have to be constantly pedaling. It requires skill and strength - which is why I do not own one. Paul immediately posted on Craigslist and sent out emails to all his friends. There were lost/stolen posters at bike shops and coffee shops and he diligently but nicely hounded the folks at the Minneapolis Property and Evidence Warehouse.

Well, hard work and a bit of luck has led to the recovery of Paul's bike! Yippee! And, to quote Paul in his email, "Fixed gears bikes may be for posers and wannabe's, but I guess that they are somewhat more bike-thief resistant... or at least they don't get too far."

Ride on!

Friday Cat Blog (sort of)

People are really into blogging about cats on Fridays. I am not sure how this "trend" began, but it happens. Trust me. I once proposed Friday Haikus but I only published one. Pretty pathetic. From time to time, I get directed to the following site (What Jeff Killed). It is sort of like Friday Cat Blogging but not warm/cute/fuzzy. Still, it's a fascinating site which is like a web-based Animal Planet or Discovery Channel about the wild nature of domestic cats.

Warning - the images on the Jeff site are pretty gruesome, so view with caution.

Dang, Dong Yang Discovered

The Star Tribune printed out the Taste 50 which highlights 50 culinary delights in the Twin Cities. Number TWO on the list is Dong Yang grocery store and deli.

2. In the back, on the left

Shoppers trolling the aisles of Dong Yang Oriental Foods can shop without stumbling across the store’s nearly hidden no-frills counter, where the menu is in Korean (with off-kilter English subtitles) and the abundant, affordable, robustly seasoned fare (spicy thin-sliced beef, intensely flavorful short ribs, whole broiled fish, steaming soups, fried dumplings) rightly draws a steady steam of customers.

Of course, Dara over at City Pages wrote up a nice review of DY nearly three years ago and I noticed an uptick in customers soon after. I suspect the line and wait will be longer with this latest review.

Well, it's a good news, bad news sort of thing.

Suicide in South Korea and in the U.S.

A worker at Utopia Memorial House in Ansung last week walked by ashes of Jeong Da-bin, left, and Yuni, two entertainers who killed themselves. Photo from NYTimes

The NYTimes has a story about the rising rate of suicide in South Korea and the novel use of the internet to promote suicide pacts and other methods.

South Korea’s suicide rate stood at 18.7 per 100,000 people in 2002 — up from 10.2 in 1985. In 2002, Japan’s rate was the same as South Korea’s, but the rate in the United States was 10.2 per 100,000.

Apparently, young adults and teenagers are using the internet as a way to find others who also are thinking of committing suicide; some go on to form suicide pacts; others use the internet to learn more effective means to commit suicide.

I have known of this trend for some time, but I do follow these sorts of news items (as it is related to my line of work). However, I wonder if it is a news item now because of the Virginia Tech tragedy?

CNN recently reported on a supposed trend in the U.S. of suicide among Korean/Asian Americans (click here for story).

Asian-American women ages 15-24 have the highest suicide rate of women in any race or ethnic group in that age group. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for Asian-American women in that age range. (Department of Health and Human Services)

Something to ponder about...

Apple a Day

When I was younger, I ate a lot of apples. During the peak of apple season, I would often eat 2 or 3 apples a day. We just always seemed to have it around the house. In fact, my parents would buy bushels of apples in the Fall, wrap them up in heavy blankets to keep them from freezing, and store at least 6-8 bushels in the garage all winter long. So eating apples was a year long thing for me. When I felt a craving for a snack, I would just grab an apple.

My mother used to say that I liked eating apples because she ate a lot of apples when she was pregnant with me. Back in the late 60s, they were still new immigrants, poor, and could not afford much. As I recall, she said they would buy apples that were just going bad on the cheap and that was her main diet during the pregnancy. Now, my mother liked to embellish stories, but I think it probably was true that she ate a lot of apples.

Well, it turns out that she might have known something because a recent study (reported in BBC) claims that pregnant women who ate lots of apples have children who are less prone to asthma.

They found that those who ate four or more apples a week were half as likely to have an asthmatic child compared with those who ate one or fewer.

As personal evidence, I do not have asthma. Hm... thanks, mom!

Bicycling Week Recap

Last week was national Bike to Work week and I made a strong effort to do so. Besides driving to work on Monday (as I had to carry a bunch of large things to work and I don't have a mega-trailer for the bike), I rode every day (Tues to Fri). On Friday morning, I have to confess that I heard the rain coming down hard on the roof as I was awakening and I was finding many excuses to not ride. Of course, Friday was the city of Minneapolis' official bike to work day, so I was feeling guilty for such thoughts. Plus, HDub was wanting to ride to work, but I think she also was hesitant to ride in the rain. Then, as we were getting ready to leave, it stopped raining and the sky cleared up. Yay. We rode to work and it turned out to be the most gorgeous day of all. After work, Sergio organized a Happy Hour at Nomad and a group of guys showed up mostly on bikes. Then, I met up with HDub at her office to ride home together. Unfortunately, HDub had a massive migraine that day at work, but she showed her toughness by insisting on riding home with head pounding. Impressive. On Saturday, it was a day of errands but I was determined to ride to our evening events. We had four different engagements, but I had to back out of one of them because its time conflicted with all the other events. So, I rode to the Center for Independent Arts at 7:30 for a teen talent show, then rode to a friend's graduation party near Loring Park at 9 pm, and made the short ride over to King and I restaurant for a birthday party around 10:15. By then, the warm, sunny 80 degree day had turned into a very cold, windy 40 or so degree night. Brrrr. I brought along a merino wool sweater but it was not thick enough. By the end of the night, I caved in and crammed the bike into HDub's car for a warm ride home. Now, it's Sunday and I was hoping to go for a short canoe trip this afternoon but it is freezing outside! Ok, it's 45 degrees outside. Close enough.

Becoming Minnesota...

but not Minnesotan. Odd, but I have a hard time thinking of myself as a Minnesotan. Perhaps it's like folks born and raised in Maine. They are Mainers (pronounced with a heavy NE accent) and others who move to Maine can never be Mainers, even if they've lived 60 years in Maine. In my mind and in my heart, I am a New Englander. I wear that badge proudly, despite it's ugly scars and weathered appearance. Still, Minnesota is my home and I have now lived here for just shy of 7 years. It's the longest place I have lived as an adult. My home which I have now owned for 4 years is the longest single residence for me. So, I guess I am becoming Minnesota.

Case in point - I bought a canoe the other day. Gasp, shock, a shaking of the head. Yep, after our trip to the Boundary Waters last summer, camping and canoeing have seeped into my psyche. First, I started with purchasing camping gear. Just the essentials (tent, stove, pots, etc). Then, I thought briefly about a canoe and realized it was way too ambitious of a purchase. Plus, darn expensive. No, I calmed myself down and focused instead on another manual form of transportation - bicycles. Then, winter came, I bought another type of manual transportation - ice skates - and I forgot about the canoe idea. Until, this week when Hapa9 sent me a Craigslist ad for an old fiberglass canoe. It was beat up and a decent price. Hm...he peaked my interest, as we had been talking about planning another Boundary Waters trip for late summer. So, I thought to myself, is this something to pursue. Hm...I started to do the financial math. I emailed the man selling the canoe but held off on taking action. Good thing too! On Wednesday morning, I decided to check out Craigslist again. Lo and behold, a better canoe was for sale. Specifically, a 1983 We-no-nah 17 Jensen fiberglass canoe in great shape with lots of special detailing. It was more pricey, but the extras on the canoe (plus the better make/model) made the price just right. So, I jumped on it and emailed the seller. Then, I researched the canoe online, contacted Hapa9 who sent me more info on the canoe, and I found myself giddy with excitement. Fortunately, I had to ride my bike over to the Cliquot Cafe to meet Nic for lunch. When I returned to my office, I got an email reply back. I was the first to respond to the ad, so I had "first right of refusal." I immediately called Hapa9 to see if he come come with me to check out the canoe. He could, so I then called the seller to say I could come down that evening. Hapa9 and I drove down 30 miles south of the city shortly after rush hour. Turns out the seller just retired from the canoe business and he is selling off his personal inventory of SEVENTEEN canoes and boats! Yikes. The Jensen was in great shape. I was impressed and bought the canoe.

Now, it is resting handsomely in my garage, awaiting some paddles, life jackets, and a few straps and pads so I can transport it to the lake. Plus, I better learn how to steer a canoe!

Hapa9 and PHT and I spent a bit of the day emailing back and forth because I told them last night that I ideally would like to pull the canoe on one of my bikes. I had seen it somewhere in town and it just seems the right way to go. So, we were checking out various websites that sell hitch systems (like this one and this one and this one) and other websites that provide instructions on how to build one's own canoe carrier (such as this one and this one). Very exciting stuff -- and, yes, very Minnesota of me.

So, I am not sure if I will ever call myself a Minnesotan, but I sure am embracing the idea of becoming Minnesota.

Mother's Day :: Day After Reflections

Mother's Day has come and gone. I wanted to write a post yesterday but could not get myself to do so. Instead, I spent the beautiful Sunday doing some usual Sunday morning things, such as making coffee, reading the NYTimes, tidying up the home a bit. Then, as the morning sun heated up, I tackled the backyard - digging up my ever expanding collection of hostas, splitting them up, relocating some of them, and trying to give away a lot of them. I was successful in all these efforts. I chatted with my neighbors whose mothers had come to visit. Later, in between random television viewing, I balanced my checkbook, surfed the internet, cleaned inside the home a bit more, ate a late lunch, and eventually heated up a salmon burger on the grill. H-Dub came back from a day with her family and we went for a nice bike ride to Crema Cafe for sorbet (yum). Riding through the swarm of gnats around the lake, we enjoyed the serene water of Lake Harriet and felt refreshed. It was a relaxing day of doing mostly nothing.

Then again, perhaps it was a day of reflecting and appreciating.

Throughout the day, I thought of my mother. I miss her awfully still and yet I have come to peace with her absence. I feel her presence in small ways - when I cook Korean food, when I am organizing and cleaning, when I am bargain shopping, when I am talking with my dad on the telephone, when I am worrying about the family from afar, when I stop to say a prayer, when I am talking to friends about childhood. Our memories are shaped by the stories told to us, stories we have told to others, and invoked by the smells, sounds, sights, and actions of everyday life. So, in doing the little things around the home yesterday, I was thinking of my mother most of the time.

Most days, these memories bring about a warm melancholy that soothes the soul. It's not a sadness at not having but a touching emotion of gratitude and missing. The loss of a loved one, once the grief has subsided and the healing of life resumes, brings a special awareness to what we do have in life. I guess, you could say, it is the last gift my mother gave me before dying.

Happy Mother's Day, mom.

International Adoption and Nazi Germany

"It goes without saying that the birth mother has the first right and we will, with a heavy heart, part with this child who has become beloved and dear to us, as long as it is in the best interest of the child"

There is a fascinating AP story on Nazi Germany's efforts to ensure an Aryan race via what would now be called international adoption. It reminds me of stories that I had heard of similar efforts in Japan during WWII. I found the above quote to be very thought provoking, as it was said by the German adoptive mother after returning the child to her birthparents in Poland.

Honoring Joe White : Father of Black Psychology

Claytie Davis III, Ph.D., Susan E. Conner, Ph.D., Richard M. Lee, Ph.D., and Joseph L. White, Ph.D.

On May 10th, the University of Minnesota will award Dr. Joseph L. White with an honorary Doctor of Laws degree.

Dr. White was born in Minneapolis in 1932 in the Seven Corners areas across from the University of Minnesota. He attended De la Salle HS, San Francisco State University, and later received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Michigan State University. He spent the majority of his academic career at the University of California, Irvine, where he is now Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Psychiatry. Dr. White is considered the father of Black Psychology because of his pioneering 1970 article “Toward a Black Psychology” in Ebony Magazine. You can read his bio here and here.

I believe I first met Joe in 1998 at the APA Convention in San Francisco. I went up to the top floor of the downtown Marriott Hotel to meet some friends for a drink. Sitting at the bar, I struck up a conversation with Joe who was sitting at the next bar stool and drinking a white wine (his favorite). We hit it off immediately and soon we were buying each other drinks. Eventually, a group of Asian American psychologists and graduate students arrived. It turns out that Joe knew a few of these same friends. As the night wore on, music began to play on the dance floor. Joe has hustle moves and he soon hit the floor with the women. So, there we were -- me and Joe and about six Asian American women. He still kids me about that first meeting.

Funny enough, like many things in life, I had no idea that this man on the dance floor was the father of Black Psychology. Then, I learned that he was born and raised in Minneapolis but had never attended the University nor had he ever been invited to the University, despite his stature in the field. In April of 2001, he dropped me a line because he was going to Minneapolis to consult on the African American Men's Project. I seized on this opportunity to invite Joe to campus to give a talk. It was his first time back on campus (as a psychologist) since he left Minnesota as a young man. Amazing.

Well, fast forward a few more years and finally, finally the University will be honoring this famous son of Minneapolis.

Congratulations, Joe.