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i screwed up but im still posting this somewhere

I was completely wrong about this class coming into it. I remember being terrified after the first class. I thought I was coming into some sort of media analysis class. Nope. Not quite. We were expected to create. I’m Debbie. I don’t do that. I don’t have a creative bone in my body...

This class presented a lot of terrors for me. The initial fear of having enrolled in the wrong class was only a precursor. Not only were we creating media, we were sharing it. In class. I revealed the least attractive time of my life when we read our first project stories. I was completely unprepared to do so. Yet, I was proud enough to show a few friends who didn’t necessarily know any details about what I’d gone through. I felt like I was embodying Judy Chicago’s advice. Okay, maybe that’s a little vain...

Every assignment we were given that required media construction gave me a panic attack at some point along the way. Yet, I am proud of everything I’ve done. Talk about a self-esteem boost.

I really think I came to understand my ability to put something creative and powerful out there. The use of the internet became more vivid, and I would like to keep doing this in the future. I’ve thought about just you-tubing some issues as they arise, because the advice we got reading some of these artists and theorists rings true. I want to be a part of feminist media making. Pozner talks about how necessary that is. The guerilla girls, Judy Chicago...it is such an effective way of making a statement. Granted, you need an audience, but who doesn’t know someone who youtube-serfs at 4 in the morning?

The theory and practice emphasis will be ingrained in my head forever. What am I thinking--what do I want to say? How do I want to show that? I’ve already begun applying this thought process to the History channel and bothered a few friends. I don’t necessarily question the validity of what I watch, but take into consideration who’s perspective it is coming from, and what elements are emphasized. Also, I look at the kind of music it might be paired with, or the emotions the documentarian is striving for and how they are achieving it.

The elements we learned in this class are probably stuck in my head forever. I’m glad. I feel more informed watching a documentary. I’ve always been iffy about documentaries, because I don’t want false information. Maybe now I can look at how the story is told, and analyze it from there. Lord knows I like to analyze. Between deepening my perspective and understanding and gaining tools for my own media making experience, I would say my initial terror over the class is overwrought by my excitement about wanting to keep what I’ve learned with me into the future.


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Comments

can i just say that... YOU ROCK. u really do.

you took the boldest first step of anyone in class. you continued to grow in many ways, and you should be very proud of what you've accomplished this term.

i hope you make more videos!

btw - i love your music montages - great editing, great sense of rhythm, pacing, movement...

best,
R

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