Up next in Jerryland
That's the question for me right now. Over the last six months or so, I've been doing a fair amount of soul searching and conversations. I've talked with at least a half dozen professors and the same number of grad students about their experiences in different departments. I'm still not sure what's next for me professionally. But here's what I do know:
First, I will need to make a change. I enjoy my current position at the U quite a bit, but I'm assuming that my chances of having something close to this once Sarah finishes her degree and we have to move will be minimal. Most people who do what I do are adjuncts at community colleges--doing a lot of work for bad pay. I did that for 2 1/2 years in Iowa, and it's not something I really want to go back to. The best case scenario might be a full time community college position, but even that isn't very attractive right now. I've become accustomed to the freedom, resources, and scholarship of life at the U, and I don't really want to go back.
Second, if I do go back to school now, it would be in Geography. I've thought about several other options, including American Studies and Public Health most recently. They're not as good a fit, both practically and academically, as Geography is. The program here at the U is strong, especially in what's called human geography (i.e., studying primarily people, not nature) and in urban studies, which is my broadest niche. There's not anyone focusing on food (my most specific interest) in the department, but there are three in the History department two floors up, and I think I can make it work. I'm taking a Geography class this semester, which I'm mostly enjoying. I've realized that this is really a natural environment for me, talking theoretically about academic stuff. While at times I've fought against the lack of practical value in fields like human geography, I'm just not someone who's going to work in a heavily applied field. I'm encouraged by a conversation I had with a history professor this week who said that she's had more opportunities to teach and work with a public audience over food than she ever has with migration, her main interest.
Third, there are many benefits to doing school now. If I take a course at a time, the U will pay my tuition. After this year, Sarah will be doing prelims and her dissertation for the next few years, which means her schedule will be relatively flexible. And I like being a student--it gives me a sense of direction for my career and keeps me sharp academically as a teacher. It's good for my teaching to be learning new things as a student, so my thinking doesn't go stale.
Fourth, we want another child. Here's where it gets complicated. I know from experience that being an only child has its benefits. However, there are plenty of drawbacks as well. For the same reasons that the next three or so years offer the flexibility for school, they also offer the best window for child #2 to come along. Sarah's life and schooling will still be fairly complicated, and part of my role right now is to help support her. And having another baby and a second child will surely complicate our lives in ways we're not even aware of. Still, Micah, the sequel, trumps my school aspirations. I can always wait 'til the last one reaches kindergarten.
Fifth, what about spare time? Now, given our histories, this is probably not realistic. Sarah and I seem to find a way to overcommit ourselves no matter what we do. But if I just put in my time as an instructor and said that my private life was the real priority, it's possible we wouldn't always feel as overwhelmed as we sometimes do right now. This semester has been pretty dang busy. I'm not sure if I'm not thinking of selling my soul for the sake of my career (and my children's happiness).
So that's where things stand. Right now, I plan to take another course in the spring and make a firmer decision next summer, when we know more what Sarah's schedule post-coursework will look like. I'm also going to be shifting departments again next year, to the new Writing Studies program, so the amount and kind of work I will be doing will change in ways I don't know now. But essentially, the tension I'm feeling is between school and family. I'm not sure it has to be one or the other, but it's something I want to be sure to think through. This has been a lesson that has become increasingly clear as I grow older--that the gap between what we want to do and what we can do can be quite large. The task is to choose the better part and be content with that.