Fish or manna?
Back last summer, when things weren't going so well, Sarah and I kept talking about which Biblical narrative we were involved in. To me, that's theology at it's most fundamental form--making sense of our own situation through the stories of the past. I've been thinking about that again more recently as I've been waiting on decisions regrading my graduate school application. At this point, I do feel like this is the next step for me. It fits my own understanding of my vocation and what others have told me. Yet financially, there's some big hurdles--possibly a six-figure student loan debt if there's no more assistance than assistantships. In situations like this, I feel like the underlying sentiment is if this is of God, God will provide.
But how? That's the question that I've been puzzling over. On the one hand, there's narratives in Scripture like the one where Jesus gives his disciples a boat overflowing with fish--a promise of extravagant provision. On the other hand, there's also stories like the manna in the wilderness, where God only provides enough for each day, calling for faith to trust for more tomorrow. Concretely, I'll probably get a decent one year fellowship offer from the U, but what about the other 2-3 years? Do I make the choice and trust God to provide as I go? Or do I look for the net full of fish--one of the multi-year fellowships I applied for--as confirmation? I'm not sure how to read the tea leaves, to use an unBiblical metaphor.