Analysis: Students hold vigil for Tinsley

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http://www.mndaily.com/2012/04/06/students-hold-vigil-tinsley


This story was written with the sentimentality of an obituary, but was presented as a typical news story. The reporter used a multitude of quotes from various sources that knew or worked with Tinsley before he died. Consequently, Tinsley comes off as a very respected and loved member of the University community.

The typical inverted pyramid is disregarded here. Since the story is mostly quotes about the same person, order of importance isn't really that effective. The story needs to maintain heartfelt and honest, rather than structured and technical.

I thought this story was very well done. If I had written it, I would have swapped the last paragraph with the two above it. It seems more appropriate to close with the following:

"As the sun set, the vigil ended in prayer. Many left and went their separate ways, but the University's football team stayed behind and showed their support with a team huddle.

They chanted a single word, "family.""

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This page contains a single entry by Alexander P Simpson published on April 8, 2012 2:51 PM.

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