When did Chuck Norris ascent to his current title as the king of ironic hipness begin? I'm not a devout student of this history, but I'd guess it started with his cameo in Dodgeball-- who can forget the classic, inspirational thumbs-up and Stiller's immortal line, "F***in' Chuck Norris"? Now, it seems, Mr. Norris is more popular than ever, mostly due to the Chuck Norris facts site. I'm sure you've seen it by now, as it's been the most quoted thing on the internet for quite some time. The quotes have grown stale through overuse, but you have to admit it was funny for a time. (One of my favorites: "Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.") The "Walker lever" on Conan O'Brien's (mostly unfunny) show (you suck, Conan!) probably also helped raise his image in the public consciousness. This article in the Washington Post does a good job of summing up more reasons for Norris' popularity.
Now, I enjoy myself a good episode of Walker (and especially the theme song) as much as the next guy, but I don't know if I can hold Chuck Norris up as a sterling hero any longer. I read today that Mr. Norris celebrated Valentine's Day at the White House with George and Laura (for the record, so did Joe Lieberman, D?-CT), and it piqued my interest. I did some googling, and it turns out that Chuck and George are pretty tight:
Here is a picture of the good ol' boys in the good ol' days (before Enron, 9/11, Iraq, Social Security, Katrina, Plamegate, and Shotgun Dick), taken in 1997. Further research reveals that Mr. Norris has maxed out in his contributions to Bush a few times, and has given at least $32,225 in political donations since 1989-- all to Republicans. He must be close with the family; Chuck accompanied H.W. on his infamous sky-diving trip, and in this official WH press release from a 2004 campaign rally, G-Dubs gives a shout-out to "my friend Chuck Norris." I guess I don't begrudge Mr. Norris his right to have an opinion, and to exercise his quasi-constitutional right to corrupt the political process with vast sums of money, but it somehow hurts deep inside that a man who had seemed so good, so pure, and so invincible, could be so wrong on everything that is so important.
Remember that Walker episode where a high-school teacher is thrown off of a roof by a shop teacher/drug lord because he uncovers the guy's drug ring, and Walker steps in as principal to uncover the devastating truth (and deliver some devastating roundhouse kicks?) To encourage the kids to break their addiction to drugs and to identify the perpetrator of this horrific crime, Chuck brings in a few extremely muscular friends, the Power Team, members of an body-building/inspirational speaking squad, who perform amazing feats of strength involving fists, foreheads and piles of bricks. There is an inspirational moment where a man snaps a pair of handcuffs in two, and the crowd erupts in cheers. Chuck Norris, this could be you. Stand up and break the manacles of oppression, and you will be revered as much more than a washed-up martial arts star: you, too, can be a True American Hero.
Num-Chucks:
*An all-time classic video: two legends collide as Norris meets Danza on Danza's show. Danza reads Norris some quotes from the "facts" website.
*Chuck speaks out about the "facts":
“I’m aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as “Chuck Norris facts.� I’ve seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I’m not quite sure what to make of it. It’s quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, “Against All Odds?� They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, “The Justice Riders,� released this month. I’m very proud of these literary efforts.�
Welp, the year is almost ovum, and it's time for a slate of unoriginal list posts. This first one will be dedicated to films I thought were good. I don't have any specific ideas as to what makes a "good" film... but I know it when I see it. OK, here goes...
The Life Aquatic: I know a lot of people hated this, or "didn't get it." I thought it was great. Also, this is the first movie Melissa and I ever went to see together (that was my second time seeing it.) I think she's great, too.
update: Well, IMDB lists this as coming out in 2004, but I remember seeing it in 2005. So it stays.
The Constant Gardener: I recall seeing two "political thrillers" this year (the other was the pretty-good-but-not-great Syriana.) This was the superior film. Not only does its political message resonate, it is emotional, suspenseful, well-paced, exquisitely acted, and beautifully shot.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: I don't get the people who hated this because it wasn't the original. So what? Why can't you like both? I'm not a huge Johnny Depp fan, but he strikes the right chord as a childish, creepy Willy Wonka. There are some great lines ("That's called cannibalism, and it's frowned upon in most human societies"), and the musical numbers are hilarious. Overall there was not a better way to spend... ummm... 115 minutes this year.
The Aristocrats: Disgusting, obscene, vulgar, nearly vomit-inducing at times. Also, pretty effing hilarious at most times. It's not the joke, it's how you tell it.
Cinderella Man: Overall, I guess I'd have to say this is the best 2005 movie I've seen so far. Sure, it's a cliched story. We've seen this plot over and over again. But there's something to be said for a movie that takes a familiar story and tells it better than it's ever been done before, with beautiful cinematography and stellar acting from Zellweger, Crowe, and Giamatti. This movie really didn't deserve to flop at the box office. Please, I beg of you, rent it on DVD... before it's too late...
Other movies I enjoyed: the new Wallace and Gromit, Syriana, the 4th Harry Potter, Jarhead, Kingdom of Heaven. I also enjoyed Wedding Crashers and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, though they weren't as great as everyone claimed.
Movies I still must see: Munich (!); King Kong (for some reason, I'm not as psyched for this as I probably should be, but I still want to see it); A History of Violence; Broken Flowers; Good Night, and Good Luck; Capote; Brokeback Mountain; that Sarah Silverman movie (Jesus is Magic). And there's probably more that I forgot, as well. Can you blame me? It's 2:30 AM and I've had less than 15 hours of sleep in the past three nights. And with that, I must retire...
Yo, Adrian... get ready for Rocky VI!
Sylvester Stallone is all set to revive his most famous (by a small margin) creation, boxer Rocky Balboa for the sixth time in, you guessed it, Rocky VI. He will direct, and of course, star in the film.The script has been finalised, and returns to the ageing character as he comes out of retirement, just looking to keep his eye in with a few local, low-profile fights. Until, that is, someone gets the idea that he should fight current heavyweight champion Mason "The Line" Dixon, which turns into a full-blown media three ring circus.
Principal photography is set to commence in December in L.A. ...
From what I hear, Rocky V was a smashing success, so I'm pretty pumped for the Sixth Edition.
I have to write about this real quick before I forget.
So, today, we watched Akira Kurosawa's Rashomon in film class. It's a really good movie. It makes very interesting use of storytelling and structure. You should all check it out.
I just wanted to highlight one quote from the film that I thought was just... well, see for yourself:
Priest: "Thanks to you, I think I can keep my faith in man."
Woodcutter: "Don't mention it."
I don't know if that is insanely ridiculous or earth-shatteringly profound. What are you supposed to say when someone says you've restored their faith in humanity? "Don't mention it?!" I took it from the subtitles, so perhaps it was different in the original Japanese. I just don't know what to make of it.
