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new airline in minnysota

WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIR IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA.
>
> ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.
> If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da
no-frills

> airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is an
> upliftin experience.
>
> Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
> Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21,
a
> main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da
rear
> of da aircraft.
>
> Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by
> free will offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
>
> Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da
> safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
>
> Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a
> sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real
surprised

> and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand
feet,
> so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or
> someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodder wit doze liddle masks
on

> da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den
dat.
> Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes.
> Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest
wit
> you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sort a
like
> driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.
>
> In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da
> Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our
sins
> as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say
"trespass

> against us," which isn't right, but what can you do?
>
> Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because
day
> may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is by da seat of da
> pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da
wazoo,

> and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mout
on
> da side of your head.
>
> We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee
pot
> up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket
in
> front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to
be

> real upset and I am not kiddin!
>
> Right now I'll say Grace: "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let
deze

> gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in
Dulut
> or pretty close."
> Amen