November 10, 2005
I have been cold-cocked. Blind-sided. I have had sand thrown in my eyes and a sucker punch delivered to my gut. But what else would you expect from a Cheesehead? Over at the Oracle of Cheese, my neighbor and "friend" has called me out to finish our Backyard Border Battle. There are certain things I'll admit to: yes, I'll admit that the Backyard Border Battle has not been my highest priority. I will admit that being at a 2 win to CC's 4 win disadvantage has left me flustered. I will admit that Cheeshead Craig throws like a girl. However, let's get a few things straight here.
When was it decided that it would be my responsibility and my responsibility only to schedule the next game in this epic battle? For the record, I don't recall any time, besides this week, Cheesehead Craig ever suggesting that we get together and play chess, or that we go bowling, or that we play horse shoes. No, CC has seen fit to rest on his laurels, sit in his basement, and weep over his precious Packers (3-5 vs. 1-7 ... now there is a stat that matters!).
So, now all of the sudden CC is upset that I haven't been banging down his door to play his little games. Bah! CC has even besmirched my honor by writing this nonsense:
Very well then Shane, your cowardice is plain for everyone to see now.
The Backyard Border Battle is hereby over and I have won by knockout as Shane simply cannot get up off the canvas.
I will let you know when you can be my beverage server for a day as per the agreement we had at the beginning.
Cowardice? Over? I think not. I'm sorry that my positive contributions to society have gotten in the way of what I thought were our friendly little games, but I'm pretty sure that we never agreed to allow either of us to call the competition "over." Especially on a misguided whim. This move reaks of poor sportsmanship. I am outraged! I could handle it from a 12 year old girl, but I am a little perplexed as to why a man 2 years my senior would stoop to these levels. For shame!
So, here is what I propose. Since you feel so wronged, Mr. Cheesehead, I propose one last battle to dictate the future of the overall Battle. I propose we go bowling. If I win 2 out of 3 the Battle will continue with what I hope will be a pleasant game of chess. If you win 2 out of 3 I will abide by the rules of the Battle and serve you, in humiliation, your prefered beverage(s) for a day.
Surely, even a Cheesehead can agree that this is more than fair. Personally, I also feel it is a honorable solution, but I wouldn't expect a Cheesehead to understand that.
Cheesehead Craig, I await your response.
Posted by snackeru at November 10, 2005 12:35 PM | Life
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Posted by: SBG at November 10, 2005 2:33 PM
An excellent point, SBG!
Posted by: Shane at November 10, 2005 3:04 PM
To clarify the record, I have asked multiple times to continue this battle. Your wife has even chided you that you have not continued it.
I had to call you out and "besmirch your honor" as the only way to motivate you it seems. This is called "trash talking" by the way. I have no problem continuing this battle as I have not been the one not using flimsy excuses for the last 2 months.
The rules from the get-go were that we finish all the events regardless if a winner was decided early on. I propose that we follow this.
2 out of 3 in bowling? I gladly accept.
Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at November 10, 2005 3:38 PM