January 5, 2006
The Timberwolves game and Tom Selleck
You may be asking yourself what does going to a Timberwolves game and my fond memories and Magnum P.I. have in common? Well let me tell you. In the opening credits of the television show Magnum P.I., Tom Selleck beats the tar out of someone with a fighting move that my friends and I have cleverly named "The Selleck." The Selleck consists firstly of a vicious elbow to the stomach. Then, when the person is bowled over in excrutiating pain you finish off The Selleck with an immediate fist to the face, all with the same hand! Obviously the person on the receiving end of this awsome move is down for the count. No one can stand up to The Selleck. Ah ... the memories. Tom Selleck was the master and documented inventor of "The Selleck." For that we owe him our tribute.
Again, you may be asking yourself, what does this have to do with the T-Wolves game last night? I will now tell you. Last night, before leaving home for work, my brother-in-law called me and asked me if I wanted to go to the T-Wolves game. Not only that, but my brother-in-law informed me that our seats would be in a Target Center suite! Of course, I said yes. But when I got to the game things only got better!
You will note from my ticket that not only was I in a suite, but I was in suite number 1! Boom! And then you will notice that not only was I in suite number 1, I was in seat number 1! Bam! Believe it or not, you have just been on the receiving end of a virtual Selleck! First I nail you with the fact that I was sitting in suite 1. As you stagger under the blow of my virtual elbow to the stomach, I then smack you in the face with the fact that I also had a ticket for seat number 1! Can you feel it? I'm sorry to deal such a horrible amount of pain on you today, but it had to be done. Believe it or not, you are a better person for it.
Yes, last night was a blast. That was the first time I have ever in a suite in any sport, so I was just plain giddy. The suite could handle 12 people, but there were only 6 of us. There was also all kinds of delicious food including fried chicken, buffalo wings, cold cut sandwiches, chips and dip, various munchies, cookies, beer, and all the Pepsi I could drink. We also had our own personal bathroom, and a TV with the college football national championship on. Then, to top it all off, the T-Wolves won the game in convincing fashion! Marko Jaric had a great game, as did Wally and KG. Needless to say, I had an absolutely phenomenal time.
So, have you recovered yet from my virtual Selleck? Sorry again for that. However, now that you know about The Selleck you too can inflict a world of hurt on anyone that wrongs you. Hopefully in time you will come to thank me for my instruction in this important fighting move.
See you soon!
Bow before the greatness that is Tom Selleck!
Posted by snackeru at January 5, 2006 8:33 AM
I taught The Selleck to my nine and five year olds a couple of weeks ago. Before doing this, I made them promise to only use this devastating move in a dire situation. Just remembering that move on the opening credits, as well as all of our stupid college jokes about it, brings a smile to my face!
Curt in Grand Forks
PS--We need to "Basil and Tinordi" Cheesehead Craig the next time I am in town!
Posted by: Curt Hanson at January 5, 2006 9:54 AM
Basil and Tinordi huh? Bring it on and I'll go all Cassius Clay on you.
Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at January 5, 2006 11:36 AM
I should also congratulate you on your suite seat! They are absolutely the best. Where was the suite located in regards to your view of the game?
Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at January 5, 2006 1:06 PM
Who cares where the sweet suite was??!?! That is awesome, lucky you. I thought I noticed a glow about you when I dropped over uninvited to whisk your wife away on a neighborhood tour of cattiness. Thanks also for the Tom Selleck virtual visual, he is a classic all-time hottie.
Posted by: Cheesehead's Wife at January 6, 2006 1:03 AM