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July 2, 2007

Humble thyself!

So, I put a cat door in my basement laundry room door this last Saturday. This will allow our cats easy access to the litter box, and make it so we won't have to smell it from the family room. Now, you've all probably heard the saying, "Measure twice, cut once," but that is not the school of thought that I work from. Oh no. I use the "eyeball it" methodology. I find that just eyeballing things allows me to get things done faster, and it adds a bit of excitement to the proceedings. Needless to say, my efforts with the cat door this weekend were no exception.

I began by removing the door from its hinges and bringing it outside to work my magic. I laid the door on my picnic table and penciled in the hole that I would jigsaw out. My wife came out and said, "You better measure that."

"Pffft!" I answered confidently. "How hard is it to cut a hole in a door? Be gone woman and let me work!"

Anyway, I cut a hole in the door and installed the cat door. All in all it took me about 15 minutes. I thought to myself, "This couldn't have gone any better! I'm like the Bob Vila of cat doors!" Then I took the door downstairs to put it back into place. Well at least I tried to.

This is a picture of the second cat door I installed. Pretty nice huh?

catdoor1.jpg

Thats right ... the second cat door I installed. Here is what my laundry room door looks like now:

catdoor2.jpg

If you still need me to spell it out for you, I cut the original cat door hole at the top of the door! What the heck is my problem? Why didn't I just take the time to make sure I was cutting at the right end? Believe me, this caused me a great deal of anger. Then acceptance. Then laughter. You don't need to tell me what an idiot I am. I know.

So, I hauled the door back outside, cut another hole, and installed the cat door at the right end. But now I have a hole at the top of the door too.

Moron

Anyway, it has occurred to me that I have a unique opportunity to do something special with the hole at the top of my door. Should I put in a little peep hole door? You know, put some hinges on another smaller door up there that would allow me to look into the laundry room without opening the main door? Or should I just cover the hole with a poster or something?

If any of you have any good ideas, let me know. Eventually I plan on getting a new door, but for now I have to do something. Like I said, it can be a pretty different kind of idea since I'm not sure I know anyone that has a big hole at the top of their laundry room door. So, if you think you've got a good idea lay it on me.

Also, if you've got any of your own home improvement projects and you need some advice, you know who to call. Especially if you need your projects to have a little more pizazz than usual. That's it for now. Have a good one!

By the way, if you write a negative comment about the stadium, I will delete your comment. Today, let's just be civil, shall we? We can hammer away at each other again later. Today, I'm hoping for some good suggestions on what to do with that hole!

Posted by snackeru at July 2, 2007 6:45 AM

Comments

I'm sorry Shane...I cannot stop laughing!

Posted by: kevin in az at July 1, 2007 11:07 PM

I wrote that I think you should cover that hole with a picture of Cheesehead Craig. Then, I accidentally ran the mouse over the offending hole and well, LOL!

Posted by: SBG at July 2, 2007 3:10 AM

I think you should use it as a base for offensive attacks against the cats. You know crossbows, boiling oil, etc. Good old fashioned castle siege defenses.

Shane forgot to add the other humiliating part. He didn't make the cat door big enough for his fat cats. Ozzie got stuck half way through and after much vaseline and a plungering, he was able to get through. Now they have a daily Vaseline regimine with Ozzie until he loses some weight.

Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at July 2, 2007 7:24 AM

Not true, Cheesehead! Not true. Ozzie can fit through just fine. The real humiliating part is that neither of the cats want to use the door. In fact, I don't think they've voluntarily used the door for two days now. So, it would appear I've ruined my door for nothing.

Posted by: Shane at July 2, 2007 8:25 AM

My wife just let me know that Shane's wife just called her. Turns out his son Anders was goofing around and got his head stuck in the cat door. Time for another run to Walgreens for Shane!

Vaseline stock has gone up 3.25 pts today.

Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at July 2, 2007 8:47 AM

You're on a roll today, heh Cheesehead? Having a little fun at my expense? Ha ha ha ha ha! You are so funny!

Liar! A pox on your house! It isn't bad enough I screw up my door, oh no, now I have you harassing me!

Posted by: Shane at July 2, 2007 9:10 AM

Oh Oh Oh Oh
A better use for that upper hole in the door would be as a high dive platform for the cats. You can set up a 5 gallon bucket of water for them to dive into. That would be awesome!

Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at July 2, 2007 9:44 AM

Why didn't you just put in a nice ramp for the cats? Something tasteful with a good railing so the cats feel safe.

Or you could have put another door at the top. Each door could be the start of a nice slide. Wouldn't that be fun?

Posted by: Tim R at July 2, 2007 10:36 AM

For the love of Pete! I just "moused" over the picture of the top door.. I screamed and laughed at the same time!

Posted by: Tim R. at July 2, 2007 10:39 AM

Not to bring things back to baseball, but Shane, at the new stadium, there is some feature that has been added about "knotholes" so fans can watch without buying a ticket. Well, this "error hole" is a prime opportunity for you to get creative and do something in honor of the new ballpark. Perhaps you hang one of the drawings from the ballpark infield on the other side so that when you look through it, it gives the effect of watching the game. Perhaps you take a picture of the site once a week and put it in the hole...or at the very least, put a hook above it and hang a Twins cap there.

Posted by: Derek at July 2, 2007 11:02 AM

Man, that's harsh.

Posted by: M.Opat at July 2, 2007 11:29 AM

You just made me feel a whole lot better about 3 or 4 of my recent home improvement projects.

Biggest fiasco: the project that started with a towel rack instllation and ended in a near-total bathroom remodel.

Posted by: tato at July 2, 2007 11:40 AM

Another idea:

Since you cat people are wierd and like to dress your cats up in costumes (you should see them at Halloween, Christmas and St. Patty's Day, Shane goes all out with the outfits); I got one for you.

Build a deck off the upper hole and put one of the cats on it. Put a pope hat on one of them and let him be the pope for the day. You can pretend he's giving edicts like more tuna for his meals that day. You'll all have such a grand time.

Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at July 2, 2007 11:42 AM

Now that's the kind of creativity I'm talking about Cheesehead! It is appropriate too given that one of my cats' names is Trinity! Pope for a day ... that idea has some merit!

Mr. Cheer or Die also sent me a personal email suggesting that I "since you have a hole up high maybe introduce the kids to the Mayan Ball game:"

http://www.socialstudiesforkids.com/articles/worldhistory/mayanballgame.htm

Not too shabby! Keep 'em coming!

Posted by: Shane at July 2, 2007 12:30 PM

Derek, that is a fantastic idea too! I could make the hole into a little "ViewFinder" like shot of the stadium construction site! That idea is a winner!

Posted by: Shane at July 2, 2007 12:33 PM

Just wondering, isn't the second hole upside down?

Posted by: SBG at July 2, 2007 1:05 PM

Now I see it has a door and isn't just a "cat hole".

Posted by: SBG at July 2, 2007 1:08 PM

No, the cat door was installed properly. The narrow part of the hole goes at the bottom. This allows the flap to swing freely.

Are you trying to suggest I could possibly have messed this up even more than I originally thought?!?!?

Well, I can't blame you.

Posted by: Shane at July 2, 2007 1:10 PM

Ok, I got another one...

Build 2 tracks coming off of the top hole and have them wind around the family room and then have them straighten out down the hall to the computer. Strap each cat into some toy Barbie cars that your daughter has and race 'em! Now that's a YouTube video worth watching.

Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at July 2, 2007 2:53 PM

I have 4 words for you Shane... "kitty kat ferris wheel" Kind of like a hamster wheel, but going in and out of your door. Of course, you would have to cut a few more doors, but you certainly have mastered that skill.

Or, I would buy a bird.

Posted by: zooomx at July 2, 2007 9:41 PM

I'm not very good at this, but here's my contribution. Put a cuckoo clock behind the hole. No one else would know there was a clock there, but all of a sudden the cuckoo would come out through the hole.

Posted by: Jeff A at July 3, 2007 12:17 PM

I like the diving platform idea, personally.

But in reality, you could cut a diamond-shaped hole (i.e., a square turned by 45 degrees), frame it in with some trim pieces, and then put some glass in. This would allow you to make a small peek-through window sort of like you suggest, and you could keep the door without embarrassment.

Posted by: Sean at July 3, 2007 5:43 PM

lol...

you gotta put a smaller door up there. It would totally freak out any guests you have come over.

It would need to have a little door knob with a knocker along with really small peephole.

I should do that to one of my doors...and I don't even have a cat!

"What is that for?"
"oh that's a cat door"
"but you don't even have a cat"
"yeah? so?"
"why is one at the top?"
"why not?"

That's when the guests head explodes haha

Posted by: Boof at July 5, 2007 1:16 AM

Shane,

How about a Cuckoo Cat? When you are entertaining in the basement, have your door rigged so a stuffed cat comes shooting out screeching at the top of every hour. That would be the bomb!!

You can get a stuffed cat down in Mexico. My father in a law bought one once for my wife's birthday. We thought it was a great, funny gag gift, until we realized he hadn't intended it to be a gag gift. ewwww.... yuck!

Posted by: zooomx at July 5, 2007 7:46 AM

Since this is only going to be a temporary situation, I'd suggest just doing a Google search for a nice "measure twice, cut once" image and make a small poster to cover the hole.

Hopefully the constant reminder will both serve Shane with future projects and prompt a quicker replacement of the door, which I'm sure the wife would appreciate. :-)

Posted by: Snyder at July 5, 2007 11:58 AM

Nerf Hoop. That should cover the hole! A dart board would work too.

Since the cats aren't using the cat door, you could put some PVC or something from the upper hole to the lower, and paint a target around the upper hole. Grab a ball and toss it into the upper hole and it will return to you. Practice your pitching without the need of a catcher...

Posted by: DouglasG at July 5, 2007 2:49 PM

Too funny! You should definitely cover the hole with a Nerf Hoop!

Posted by: orbitron19 at July 8, 2007 4:45 PM

This was absolutely hilarious. I'm glad you can laugh at it, and the Mrs. can laugh at it. Mine would still be giving me a hard time.

I second the Nerf hoop suggestion, though the midevil siege area sounded fun as well.

Posted by: PJS at July 8, 2007 7:35 PM

Shane - this warms my heart. I currently hold the title for "Least Handy Person in the Western Hemisphere." At least you can cut holes in doors - I wouldn't even try!

You could always get a pet bird and that could be the "bird door."

Jeff T.

Posted by: Jeff T. at July 9, 2007 7:03 AM

I did that once and ended up getting another door. I suggest you make the cat jump through the top hole, that will teach him.

Posted by: Lenny at July 27, 2010 10:32 AM

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