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November 29, 2007

And the winner is ...

Mr. Krabs: There is a word which describes you Spongebob and that word is... um...
Fish 1: Dork!
Mr. Krabs: No, no that's not it
Fish 2: Goofball!
Mr. Krabs: Closer, but no.
Fish 3: Dingaling!
Fish 4: Wingnut!

Old Lady: Knucklehead McSpazatron!

Yes!!! The greatest putdown of all time: Knucklehead McSpazatron. There is no better way to describe a person that has ticked you off for some reason while at the same time probably saying something really stupid.

I have decided that I am going to pick a Knucklehead McSpazatron once a week. This week I have decided that there is only one choice that makes sense.

Behold! I present to you the first person to win this prestigious honor:


For signing with the Angels and not taking a paycut to stay with the Twins (the nerve!), for lying to the fans and saying money has nothing to do with it (do I look stupid?), for not even considering the Twins generous 3 year $45 million offer (more than fair I say) ...

But most of all, for saying the Twins won't be able to attract any free agents because our new stadium won't include a roof (what a sissy!), I name Torii Hunter my Knucklehead McSpazatron of the Week.

I am sure you can hardly wait for next week's pick!

Posted by snackeru at 8:46 PM | Comments (19)

November 27, 2007

Video Tuesday!

Welcome to video Tuesday everyone! This video has it all: biting criticism of the BCS, a discussion of the Vikings victory over the Giants, and a believable portrayal of a typical fan of New York sports.

Somewhat vulgar, but seriously, the BCS deserves it.

Posted by snackeru at 7:37 PM | Comments (7)

November 26, 2007

Quotes that have upset me

• My good buddy Jeff has already written about this, but I also want to add my two cents. In Sid Hartman's column last week, Torii Hunter had this to say about the Twins as he left:

It will be hard for the Twins to attract free agents, Hunter added, because the new stadium lacks a roof.

"People aren't even thinking about this," he said. "I wouldn't play in Minnesota unless my career was at an end and I had to go to Minnesota to play the game. ... People think that's not true -- that's 100 percent accurate. This is coming from a player, so I'm telling you."

That is a really dumb comment. It doesn't make any sense. Jeff takes the angle of calling Torii a "sissy" but before I get into the name calling let's consider Torii's main point: the Twins won't attract any free agents because of the weather in the Twin Cities. Huh?

How then do they do it in Chicago? Or Detroit? Or Cleveland? All of these cities have open air ballparks, and it could be argued that they all have more inclement weather than the Twin Cities. In all of these cities it is cold and rainy in April, and cold and possibly snowy in October. Why attracting free agents to Minnesota should be any more difficult is beyond me.

I like Torii. He entertained me greatly as a Twin and I'm glad he got what he wanted. But seriously ... if Cleveland can attract free agents then so can the Minnesota Twins.

Sorry Torii, free agents care about one thing and one thing only: how much money are they gonna get. And the Twins have never had any trouble ... giving ... um ... free agents ... um ... money ...


• The second quote that has upset me comes from our friend Scott Boras. A couple of months ago The New Yorker had a great story about Mr. Boras. In this article, Scott Boras has this to say about the MLB draft:

At one point while I was in his office, Boras took a phone call, and explained afterward, “The draft is looming.? I asked if he planned to travel to Orlando, where the draft was being held. He smiled. “I think the draft is here,? he said. “It’s not in Orlando. We’re in the room?—he pointed up, toward the war room—“and we’re telling teams who they can draft, who they can’t. That’s basically how the thing goes.?

The arrogance is stunning, isn't it? Sadly, it turned out to be true. The article had this to say further down:

The inaugural draft telecast, when it aired on ESPN2, a couple of days later, left no doubt about who is in control of the narrative. The word “signability?—code, basically, for the odds that a Boras client will return to school or take a sabbatical in an independent league—was repeated again and again by the hosts ... There was even a segment devoted to the “Boras Effect,? in which a couple of analysts explained his practice of simply stating a player’s worth in advance and warning teams not to draft him unless they planned to pay it. As a result, the Boras advisee Andrew Brackman, one of the top-rated pitchers, and a star basketball player as well (“two-sportability,? for those watching the telecast), fell to the deep-pocketed Yankees, with the thirtieth pick. They then gave him a signing bonus that was nearly a million dollars greater than the bonus given to the fourth over-all pick, the pitcher Daniel Moskos, by the resource-poor Pittsburgh Pirates.

The article talks more about his control over the draft, which made me wonder over and over again at how an agent can have so much control over the game.

I'm not really sure what to say about it that hasn't been said before so I'll just say it sucks. I'm not sure who I dislike more: Scott Boras or Donald Fehr.

• Finally, the Vikings game was a pleasant surprise yesterday. I am of the opinion that the Vikings lose when they are playing against a team with a half-way decent quarterback. They have lost to Tony Romo, Brett Favre (twice), Donovan McNabb, and ... well ... Jon Kitna. So, he got lucky. But put the Vikes against a decent quarterback and usually that QB will slice and dice our pass defense to victory.

So, in looking at our remaining schedule, it would appear that the Vikings should win every game. Kitna? He can't get lucky twice, especially with the Vikings at home. Alex Smith? Um no. Rex Grossman? I don't think so. And given that I can't even name the starters for the Redskins or the Broncos without looking them up I think the Vikes are pretty safe.

The Vikings will end up 10-6. Childress will get a reprieve to his inevitable firing, and the Vikings will once again play in January. Time to jump on the bandwagon folks.

And one more thing, if it is the Packers and Patriots in the Super Bowl ... I'm sorry but I'll be yelling "Go Pack Go" just like the rest of America.

Posted by snackeru at 8:12 PM | Comments (9)

November 20, 2007

Spilled Milk

Fooling around with Keynote for the Mac and its ability to publish straight to YouTube. Behold! My magnum opus!

Posted by snackeru at 7:26 PM | Comments (20)

November 19, 2007

What would you do?

Wallet-002.gif Do you ever wonder what you would do if given the choice between keeping something you found, something that was worth a fair amount of money, or trying to find the rightful owner? It happened to me recently ...

A couple of weeks ago I went to a conference in Monterey, California. Nice place. Lots of interesting things to see and do, and the wildlife in the bay is spectacular. I was impressed. On my way to Monterey I had a layover at the San Francisco airport. While sitting at my gate and listening to my iPod I noticed a wallet sitting on the floor under the chair next to me. Curious, I picked it up and found it contained $350 cash. Looking at the ID I found out that the owner was a British national currently living in Hong Kong.

So, what would you do if this happened to you? There it was, $350 cash with no questions asked and no strings attached (other than the overwhelming guilt). I had a number of choices: 1) I could keep the cash and toss the wallet, 2) I could keep the cash and turn in the wallet, or 3) I could turn in the whole wallet with the cash and be on my merry way.

I turned in the whole wallet. I can honestly say I didn't consider the first two options for more than a few seconds. I quickly came to the conclusion that if I ever lost a wallet with $350 cash I would really, really, really hope someone would be honest enough to turn it in.

I went to the gate and told the people manning the counter that I found someone's wallet, that it contained $350 and some ID, and I sincerely hope they can track the gentleman down who lost it. They were quite amazed and surprised. They couldn't believe I would turn in so much money that I could have easily stolen. Quite frankly, I was surprised by their reaction. Isn't this what most people would do?

Recently a group of people performed an experiment where they intentionally "lost" a wallet with $2.10, a fake $50 gift certificate, and some ID clearly identifying the rightful owner. They posted their findings on the web. Out of 100 people they tested, 74% were honest and returned the wallet and 26% were dishonest. The statistics change somewhat when age, race, and gender are taken into account, but overall it would appear that most people are honest.

Of course, none of the people above had to deal with the fact that they were holding $350. I would like to think this would make people more honest given the bigger amount at stake, but who knows?

After I turned in the wallet I sat back down and started to read a book I had brought along. A short while later the gate counter agent approached me and asked to see my ticket. I gave it to her and she took it back to the counter. I thought this was kind of odd. I thought, maybe they lost my luggage? Eventually she came back and gave me back my ticket plus a $100 ticket voucher good for one year on any United Airlines flight. Not too shabby!

So, that is my story. It would appear that it pays to be honest. And if the above experiment is a good indicator, it would appear that most people are still honest. I am proud to say I can include myself in that bunch. Would you have done the same thing? Probably, but you never know until you get in that situation yourself.

Keep it real, my homies! Talk to you soon!

Posted by snackeru at 8:21 PM | Comments (4)

November 15, 2007

Quick Thoughts

• I don't know why, but I am way more tolerant of Tim Brewster than I am of Brad Childress. In fact, I like Tim Brewster a lot. I think he will recruit the right players, and I think by 2009 the Gophers will be pretty decent.

• If Brad Childress lasts the whole year I will be pretty upset. Childress coaches NFL football games like he is coaching church league softball. I honestly don't know if he actually cares.

• Is anyone else as disturbed by Antoine Winfield's comments after the Green Bay game as I am? First he was with Dwight Smith laughing it up as the Vikings were getting blanked by the Pack for the first time ever, and then after the game the Strib had this to say about the best CB in football:

The Vikings' postgame locker room was a disquieting mix of resignation and sardonic humor. Cornerback Antoine Winfield, who again sat out because of a strained hamstring, dressed quietly at his locker but proved cheerful when approached.

"I was just a spectator today," Winfield said.

That is a pretty poor attitude. Cheerful? He is basically saying, "If I'm not on the field, I'm not a member of this team." I know Winfield is usually above criticism, but this is a little too much for me.

• I was at Panera last night with my wife. Usually I hate going to Panera, but fortunately I love my wife more and she is very fond of the place. Anyway, while I was getting my drink at the self-serve soda fountain, I noticed a big sign taped onto the Dr. Pepper dispenser. It said:

"Dr. Pepper is currently not working. This is due to the fact that it is broken. We are sorry for any inconvenience! Sincerely, the Management."

Why didn't they just say, "Out of Order! Sorry!" ?? Very strange. Anyway, I thought the sign was a little wordy and redundant. I got a chuckle out of it.

• Lots of Vikings stadium news coming out right now. I don't have much time to get into it all other than to say every decision the Vikings make from now until 2012 had better make it easier to build a new stadium. When given a choice between a decision that will help them build a stadium or a decision that will help them win a Super Bowl, they should pick the stadium choice. Fortunately most decisions that would benefit their drive towards a stadium will also benefit their drive towards the Super Bowl so that shouldn't be too difficult. But from now on every player they draft, every coach they hire, every charity they donate to, every event their cheerleaders show up at ... it all has to benefit their stadium drive either directly or indirectly. Everything. In the coming years we'll see how well they do at that.

• And one more thing, Bud Grant would have docked Troy Williamson's pay and no one would have said boo about it.

Posted by snackeru at 9:50 PM | Comments (12)

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