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September 30, 2008
What I would do ...
.. if I was ...
Zygi Wilf
I would fire Brad Childress so fast it would make your head spin. I would name Leslie Frazier as head coach and myself as defensive coordinator. You heard me. I would gather the defense together and play this video:
Then I would proceed to blitz on every play at every game. I would even blitz when when the Vikings are on offense. And I would scream at the top of my lungs:
"I don't want them to gain another YARD, you blitz all night! They cross the line of scrimmage I swear to God I'm going to take every one of you out. You make sure they remember FOREVER, the night they played the Vikings!!!"
That's what I would do.
... and if I was ...
Tim Brewster
I would say all the right things to the fans and media. "One game at a time," I would say, "We're getting ready for Indiana this week. We aren't thinking about any game in the future." I would say this before the Illinois game, and the Purdue game, and the Northwestern game. "One game at a time."
But secretly, in the depths of my very soul, I would be preparing for the Michigan game. I would watch film of Michigan football 24 hours a day. I would join Michigan football message boards and talk smack. I would think about winning the Little Brown Jug until I couldn't think about anything else.
In fact, I would think about the Jug so much I would replace the word "tremendous" with the word "Jug" in daily conversation and I wouldn't even know I was doing it! For example:
"Indiana has a Jug defense. We are going to have to do a Jug amount of preparation if we are going to score any touchdowns against them."
and
"Wow honey, that is some Jug beef brisket you've just made here. Jug jugilicious!"
Because winning the Little Brown Jug should be the number one, numero uno, numéro un priority of Gopher football this year. First of all, Michigan sucks this year so it is very, very possible to win this game, but more importantly ...
On every recruiting visit until the year 2011 I would walk into a recruit's house, put the Little Brown Jug on the kitchen table and say, "Son, I need you to help me keep this."
It would be a done deal every time.
That's what I would do.
... and if I was ...
Ron Gardenhire
I would start Scott Baker tonight on TWO DAYS REST! That's right! You heard me. TWO DAYS REST. This is it folks! This is where the boys become men. Win or go home. And who would you rather have out there right now, Nick Blackburn on 5 days rest or Scott Baker on TWO?
I think we all know the answer.
Scott Baker is the ace of this staff and we need an epic performance. Nick Blackburn has a chance, but more than likely he is going to get shelled.
That's what I would do.
Who is with me?
Posted by snackeru at September 30, 2008 10:18 PM
Comments
Shane, jugilicious already has a meaning and it has nothing to do with beef brisket.
Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at September 30, 2008 1:39 PM
Hire Schottenheimer. You don't think he would want to coach #28? Plus the rest of the team is starting to look like the Chargers - strong defense, OK quarterback... Oh wait, you need a TE.
Posted by: chapman at September 30, 2008 2:39 PM
Blackburn pitched his ass off tonight. Mauer and Morneau sucked down the stretch. What the hell is with Justin? He took the entire month of September off.
I've got 2 words for Zygi...BILL COHWER
Posted by: kevin in az at September 30, 2008 9:05 PM
Blackburn pitched the game of his career. It is too bad the Twins hitters wasted it.
It was a good year though. That third game against the White Sox in the Dome was exciting enough to last me until Spring training. I wish the Twins could have won the Central, but they made it farther than anyone predicted and the future looks bright.
Thanks for the great season Twins!
Posted by: Shane at September 30, 2008 9:22 PM
For a 41-year-old man, I have an abnormally high level of hatred for the Chicago White Sox. Go Tampa!
Jeff T.
Posted by: Jett T. at September 30, 2008 9:34 PM
Blackburn was fantastic. Just one mistake all night. Couldn't believe Danks had that kind of game in him.
Posted by: Cheesehead Craig at September 30, 2008 9:38 PM
Thankfully Gardy didn't take your advice! Blackburn was awesome. Click my name for my overwrought game review.
I'm going to the Gopher's game against Indiana on Saturday. I think I'm going to start the chant "We Want The Jug!"
Posted by: (The Real) Freealonzo at October 1, 2008 9:00 AM
Be careful with that chant, Free.
It could be easily misconstrued if there are any well-endowed females in your vicinity... :-)
Posted by: Snyder at October 1, 2008 2:09 PM
Would you be open to advertising on your blog? If you are, please contact me at joe@sportsblognet.com.
Posted by: Sports Blog Net at October 1, 2008 7:10 PM
It's been 30 days since the last Greet Machine post.
*whimper*
Posted by: Snyder at October 30, 2008 2:03 PM
Maybe he's waiting for Zygi to fire Childress?
Posted by: freealonzo at October 30, 2008 8:31 PM
Even still, there's all kinds of interesting topics to discuss. How about a comparison of the scoreboards for Target Field and TCF Stadium? Which one is going to be cooler?
Posted by: Snyder at October 31, 2008 9:51 AM
