May 2, 2005

end-of-the-semester stress is at level RED (isn't that the highest one on the ever so useful u.s. terror alert system?)

i can't decide if i have ADD or if i am distracting myself because i am so scared to fully deal with the scope of this project. i sit down to write and then distract myself by inserting footnotes where all the citations are. and then i resort to the thesaurus a lot to pick the right word. but part of that is tied in with the increasing difficulty i am having of verbalizing my thoughts. it only occurred to me a month ago that the reason i am not articulate, especially not on the spot, is because i (and everyone else on the planet) do not think in language. it is uber-frustrating to deal with this. and it takes me sooo long (i feel like) to be able to articulate what it is i'm thinking (usually at least a day). and i hate it. and there's no way to solve it. rah!

on the other hand, i've been spending the past few days working on my transitions and refining my arguments and analyses. i think it's coming along. i don't know if it's coming along fast enough right now though. between this thing due in nine days, and three other projects due the day after that, i might be giving myself a heart attack here. i guess we'll find out in ten days. until then, i'll be the one running to the library and metaphorically stabbing my eyes out.

Posted by speck025 at May 2, 2005 11:08 PM