so it's been awhile. i still have yet to officially finish my rough draft, but really, all that means if that i have some stuff left to cover. i've actually gone through and edited everything that i have so far (if i 1.5 space it, it's 21 pages....). the first day of editing was rough, i really think the first half of my paper is ridiculous and i definitely lost some hope while going through it. but the second half was actually surprisingly decent. it made me feel a little better.
now i just have to pin down a thesis statement. right.
i figured out how to include my own thoughts though. i think i'm just going to mess with the font/font color and keep all of them inserted right along with whom/what they correlate to rather than having a completely separate section.
at class today, when we were workshopping the rough draft with our small groups, sarah and carrie and amy were giving me some really good ideas to start thinking about for my own voice: can there be violence without oppression? what is the difference between oppression, coercion, and violence? the closest on these topics that i've come to reading is a ridiculous discussion on the differences between force and violence (of which i garnered that violence is just force with an intent to harm. that's rather vague). sarah also suggested that i start making up my own words for all the types of violence since the only thing they really seem to have in common is causing a loss/destruction. how ridiculous is it that we only have one word which we use to identify a variety of situations that have almost nothing in common? ???? i wish i felt confident enough in my word making abilities. there are some areas i definitely feel like i'm not at all oriented towards being creative in. word-making is one of them.
i think at the end of my paper, i'm going to have to have a long-winded monologue about what i wish i'd found in my research, but haven't. either because i didn't find it, or it doesn't exist. theory-making 101 here i come.
i am also still really distracted by my acute obsession with the death of the pope. part of me wants to write an entire paper on it. and that obsession has definitely turned into a fascination/obsession with death. not with wanting to experience it right now, but just with what it actually is. maybe that can be what i start writing about after i finish this paper.
so i'm still rough drafting. and it's ridiculously long. i was not overstating how long i thought this would be when i said between 20 and 30 pages. it's 23 so far, and i'm not done yet. i still have all of arendt to cover, and then all of my own thoughts. and i even took one author out because i thought it got too repetitive.
i feel bad for sarah and carrie who have to read this thing multiple times. because i don't think their projects are going to be anywhere near as long as mine. or maybe they will, who knows. everyone else in class sounded freaked out when they started to envision how long their project is going to be. but i dunno, i kinda feel like this is what i really wanted to do, and it is a senior project, so it should be long. or longer. maybe i will win a prize for being the most verbose.