I've had a variety of jobs since I got to Iraq. I guess the Army just isn't sure where to put a polar bear. One of my main jobs has been convoy escort. I think they put me there because if a truck breaks down, I can usually just pull it to the next US base. Luckily, the Army has issued some pretty heavy body armor for me so I'm not overly worried about IEDs. Also, I've found it useful to take slabs of armor off of wrecked Iraqi tanks and use those as armor when we end up traveling to really risky areas.

My biggest complaints about convoy duty are the sandstorms and the heat. During sandstorms, the sand gets all into my fur and as you may know, we polar bears are very clean and tidy animals. I hate being all sandy. Yuck. Luckily, since the weather has gotten hotter, they try to keep me closer to base now and in the air conditioning. This exposes me to less heat and less sand.

I got in trouble a couple weeks ago. Out on a security patrol, I was just trying to be friendly and gave some dude a bear hug and then realized that the guy was wearing a suicide vest. So I had to stand there squeezing the guy until EOD came. It took a while. The guy ended up with a few broken ribs, but I did what I had to do to make sure the guy couldn't reach the detonator.

I guess that's about all for now. Today, they have me on guard tower duty. I think they like to put me there because really, I AM the guard tower. Just having a grumpy polar bear guarding things can be a great deterrent. Things are pretty quiet most of the time and I haven’t had to maul anyone yet.

Hmm...I wonder if they'll be serving seal sandwiches today at the chow hall...I suppose I'd better go find out...