A while ago, I wrote a memorandum to POLARCOM in which I wrote that in order to continue fighting insurgents, my squad would need air support. Surprisingly enough, my request was granted! Our air support arrived today:

The two pilots they sent are from the US. Their specialty is attack aviation, although their service records stated that they had experience in transporting other animals for various distances as well. After they reported to me, I asked them their names. They said, “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!” Unfortunately, I don’t speak bird very well, so I had to consult a dictionary.

According to the dictionary, ““SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!” can mean one of two things:

1. “Our names are Tony and Reggie.”
2. “Two thousand caribou have just trampled through my favorite salmon stream.”

I figured that meaning #1 was what they intended.

As always, I asked them a little more about themselves.

Tony is a Red-Tailed Hawk from Colorado. He has been an Army aviator for about six years. He likes to soar really high and to dive fast. When I told him that I was from Minnesota, he told me that he has always been a big fan of gophers.

Reggie is from Alaska. He is a Bald Eagle, and he says that he was named for a very famous Eagle. He has been an aviator for about five years. Like Tony, he didn’t go to the US Army aviation school at Fort Rucker, Alabama, because he was born an aviator. In his spare time, he enjoys fishing.

I was sure excited to have these two join my squad. Unfortunately, it turned out that they, too, had not received any training on how to identify friendly forces in Iraq! This time, though, I anticipated that and I was able to intervene in time.

Fortunately, Steve and the porpoise were both uninjured.

I gave Reggie and Tony a quick class on recognizing friendly forces.

Sheesh, they really need to do a better job training some of these soldiers before their deployments!