After finishing demobilization, I finally got to go home! Here I am on the bus with MSG Hoppe, getting ready to leave Fort McCoy. MSG Hoppe has been in the army for almost 40 years! His first tour in the Army was in a place called Vietnam. He said it was very hot there, too. Sheesh, why does the American Army keep fighting wars in such hot places?

Here are the other soldiers on the bus. Most of them look very happy! I don’t know why CPT Jensen looks unhappy. Maybe he was hungry.

Here’s a picture of the sign welcoming us back to Minnesota:

Some nice people called the Patriot Guard rode motorcycles with us and then held flags outside the Armory when we returned. You can also see our families waiting in the background!

Finally I spotted Milkshake in the crowd (it wasn’t hard, since she weighs 600 pounds)! I ran over to say hello.

Then my two cubs and my niece came over and we had a group bear-hug!

Finally, Josh and Kelly’s cub, Amy, came over to say hello. She was very happy to see me.

It’s great to be home!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

When I got to Fort McCoy, the first thing I did was stop by the 1/34 BCT command cell to see my friend from the property book office, SFC Clevenger. Boy, was I surprised when I saw her! It turns out she went to the Warrant Officer Course and is now WO1 Clevenger! I had to salute her! I congratulated her on becoming a warrant officer and asked what she was doing at Fort McCoy. She explained that she was helping to coordinate the return of all the brigade’s equipment from Kuwait. Some of it is going back to Minnesota, Iowa, and several other state National Guards; some of it is getting turned in for repair and then getting reissued to new units, and some of it is getting turned in for repair and then going back to Minnesota. Wow, that sounds complicated! She told me that it does not make it any easier when people lose stuff on the way back, and so far a few soldiers have done that. Oops.

The next day, I got my inbriefing. It lasted 8 hours! There must have been 10 different people who gave us part of the briefing, and they all talked a lot! The day after that I started outprocessing. Here I am looking at a map and trying to figure out where all the stations are and how I should get started:

This is me waiting in line at one of the stations. I’m holding my personnel file, which has all of my important paperwork in it.

Here is a picture of me at the G.I. Bill station. The man here is explaining to me what my education benefits are. I didn’t realize it, but because of my service, POLARCOM will pay me 20 Arctic Dollars a month to go to school full-time! With that much money, I can go back to school and finish my degree in Mauling Studies!

Next I went to the medical stations. Here’s a picture of me getting a hearing test.

After the rest of my medical tests were done, I went to see a doctor to review them all. Dr. Spencer was a very nice man, and he took the time to answer a few questions I had.

As far as I can tell, demobilization is another word for “standing in line.” Here I am waiting in another line to go through one of the stations. This line went all the way out of the building!

Another requirement for demobilization is a dental exam. It takes a very brave dentist to examine a polar bear’s teeth!

On the evening of our second-to-last day, the company had a big party at Fort McCoy to celebrate the completion of our tour! Naturally I was there – bears love a good party. While I was there I met MAJ John Engels. He is the brigade’s lawyer – he calls himself the “SJA” for “Staff Judge Advocate.” He was drinking a pitcher of beer with his assistants, and he offered me some:

MAJ Simer stepped in before I started drinking and explained to MAJ Engels that you should never, EVER give alcohol to a polar bear. He said that when we get drunk and start looking for a fight, we can cause a lot of damage and injury. Hmmm. I think someone may have told him about some of the things that happened during my active duty time on Spitsbergen.

Well, I wasn’t allowed to have any beer, but I did help some of the soldiers eat their food. Here I am grabbing a bite of CPT Jensen’s hamburger. Our company commander, CPT Petersen, is to the left – you can see he’s being very cautious, since he’s worried I might take a bite of him by mistake.

On our last day we had a reintegration briefing. A lot of different people came by and spoke to us about getting back to our families and to civilian life. One of the speakers was a good friend of Kelly’s named Andy Davis! He talked about going back to school. He said that it might be a hard adjustment for some of the humans, since a lot of their fellow students have never served in the military. Fortunately, almost all bears volunteer for military service, so I don’t think I will have that problem.

After Andy’s talk, I met with a bear from the Minnesota Veterans’ Affairs department, who talked to me about some of the employment services they offer.

Finally, we were done! They assembled my company together in a big group to review our DD214s. A DD214 is a form that describes your active duty service. It lists how long you were on active duty, the awards and training you received, and a few other things. MAJ Simer told me this was a very important form to keep. I had not gotten one from my earlier active duty service, because I was on active duty with the Polar Bear Army. MAJ Simer helped explain the form to me and when we finished making sure everything on it was correct, I signed it.

Now I’m finally ready to start the last leg of my trip home and see my family again!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

After I handed over the mission to my replacement, 2LT Goldy, it was finally time for me to go home. Gosh, it was a long trip! I had to start it by showing up to the airfield at 30 minutes after midnight. I don’t understand why those silly air force guys wanted us to show up then. I have a sneaking suspicion that decision was made by an owl. Just to add insult to injury, our flight didn’t leave until 0500! I had to wait four and a half hours in a little tent with the other soldiers. Here is a picture of me and CPT Schooler passing the time waiting for our flight from Tallil:

Finally it was time to get on the plane. Once again, the loadmaster tried to have me strapped down to a pallet, since I weigh 1100 pounds. MAJ Simer convinced him that he didn’t need to do that. Here is a picture of us on the plane just before takeoff:

The plane flew us to Kuwait, where we got on buses and went to a place called Camp Virginia. MAJ Simer told me that we had to wait at Camp Virginia for our flight back to the US. He explained that because of the frequent sandstorms in Iraq, the Army always schedules soldiers to spend a couple of days at Camp Virginia waiting for their flight, to allow a little room for error. I guess that makes sense.

When we got to Camp Virginia, we moved into some big tents. MAJ Simer was having trouble with his shoulder, so I helped him move his baggage:

MAJ Simer gave me a reward for helping him:

Kuwait is very windy! While we were at Camp Virginia, we had a problem with the portable toilets getting blown away in the wind. I offered to help. I put a rope over some of the toilets and cinched it down so they would be secure:

Unfortunately, I guess I cinched a little too hard. Sometimes we polar bears don’t know our own strength:

Finally it was time to get on the plane back to the US! I got a whole row to myself, sort of by accident. A bunch of soldiers came by and asked if the seats next to me were taken. When I said, “Grrrrrrrr,” they all moved on to different parts of the airplane. Here is a picture of me getting ready to take off from Kuwait:

We made a lot of stops. We stopped in Germany, in Ireland, and also in a place called Bangor, Maine! There were a lot of people waiting to greet us in Bangor. Apparently a lot of US soldiers stop there on their way back from Iraq and Afghanistan, and people from the local area come out to meet every flight! That’s very nice of them. A lot of these people are veterans. MAJ Simer found one man who had served in 1-9 Cavalry Regiment in Vietnam! MAJ Simer was in 1-9 CAV as a Lieutenant from 1998-2001. This man had served from 1965-1966. I took this picture of them together:

Finally, we arrived at Volk Airfield in Wisconsin! The weather was MUCH cooler in Wisconsin than in Iraq, although it was still a little warm for my tastes. Here’s a picture of MAJ Simer and I at the airfield just before we got on the buses to Fort McCoy:

My journey wasn’t over yet – I still had to get on a bus to Fort McCoy to do my outprocessing - MAJ Simer called it either “demobilization” or “REFRAD,” for “Release From Active Duty.” That was an interesting experience, too - I’ll tell you all about it in my next update!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Several people have expressed concern that The Iceblog will end since my deployment is almost over. Although the deployment is drawing to a close and soon I will be back with my wife and cubs, I plan to continue to maintain my blog. It might not be as exciting as it was during my deployment, but I will continue to drill with my unit. I have some upcoming stateside training with the animal squad and we definitely have training scheduled for 30, 60, and 90 days out. So have no fear - this is not the last you will hear from me even if I'm a little quiet for a few days. I will be very busy in the coming days as I travel home and complete demobilization, but I plan to share stories and photos of my adventures as soon as I can! Thanks for the well-wishes!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Today we finally came to the end of our deployment! Our replacements have gone with us on a few missions, and they are ready to do the mission without our help. I reported this to MAJ Simer, and he told us to conduct a "Transfer of Authority" ceremony. So we just did a very simple ceremony on the roof of the BCT Headquarters.

Here are some pictures from the ceremony - I'm handing the flag over to Second Lieutenant Goldy, the platoon leader of the group replacing us. 2LT Goldy is a graduate of the ROTC program at the University of Minnesota. He’s an engineer officer - he told me he chose that specialty because of his excellent digging ability.

2LT Goldy was really excited to take the flag and get started with his mission!

And here's a picture of 2LT Goldy and I posing for a picture right after the ceremony. You can just barely see the Ziggurrrrrrrrat of Gurrrrrrrr right over 2LT Goldy’s left ear...

I'm a little sad to leave behind some of the friends I've made here, like the local village bears and the camels. I'm also a little sad that the war is still going on and that the Iraqi people still have to face insurgents and terrorists every day. But I think my soldiers and I have done everything we could. I’m excited to get home and see my family again!

MAJ Simer has warned me that it will be a long and tedious process to get back home and finish all the paperwork to "demobilize" (that’s what they call it when National Guard soldiers like me leave active duty and return to their civilian lives). I hope it's not as bad as he says - I'm getting really impatient to get home, so if I get slowed down just for paperwork, I might have to maul someone!

PS: For photos from the 1/34 BCT's Transfer of Authority ceremony (held on July 11th), you should check them out here: http://www.redbullweb.com/12.html

Posted by Stone Cold at 12:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The big day has finally come! I sent most of my squad back home! The US Army calls this “redeployment.” Going from home to a war zone is called “deployment,” and going the other way is “redeployment.” I’m not sure why that is, but anyway, my soldiers all went home. I’m going to stay for another couple of days to finish handing things over to the unit that’s replacing us.

Our first order of business in redeployment was to pack up all of our equipment:

Reggie volunteered to be the one to pack all of the equipment into the container. He explained that the person he’s named for was not only a famous Eagle, but was a famous Packer as well.

Once we sent the equipment off, it was time for the soldiers to load up! Because I have soldiers from so many different countries, I had to send them home to a lot of different places! Ian and Winston were the first to leave.

Steve was next.

And finally, I sent the others. All of the animal soldiers from the US have to go to the same location for outprocessing before they can go home:

(Reggie and Tony didn’t get in the box because they’re flying themselves home)

I’m sure their families will be glad to see them! And don’t worry - it will just be a couple of days before I go home, too!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Today was a terrific day for us! The loadmaster of the Sleigh-130 came by with another delivery.

It looks like the Minnesota National Guard has begun sending our replacements over! Hooray!

It will still be a couple of weeks before my unit goes home. First we need to do what the US Army calls a “relief in place.” This means that we’re going to take a couple of weeks to go through our missions together with the new unit, to teach them about the area they’re in and to show them some of the things we’ve learned over the past 18 months. That way they’ll be ready to conduct missions on their own when we leave.

I started out with some classroom instruction, going over some of the most important lessons I’ve learned here in Iraq:

We’re one step closer to going home now! Hooray!

Posted by Stone Cold at 07:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Before we can go home, the Brigade Commander said that we all have to get a reintegration briefing. When I asked why, MAJ Simer explained to me that it can often be difficult for human soldiers to make the adjustment from being at war to being home again. These reintegration briefings are part of the Army’s program to help soldiers prepare for those adjustments. He said that the Army was interested in helping animal soldiers with this process, too. MAJ Simer contacted our home units and asked them to put together a briefing that would address some of the problems animals have when they get home from the war.

Because I’m squad leader, I got my briefing first. POLARCOM’s briefing was kind of scary:

The presentation for birds was a little controversial, and Reggie and Tony had a lot of questions about it:

Ian and Winston got a briefing that was specific to dogs. This one focused more on their own personal safety:

I thought the Florida National Guard had some excellent advice for their alligator soldiers:

The briefing for the “Red Bull” soldiers focused mostly on the dangers of SUI (Stampeding Under the Influence):

Snort and I agreed that the briefing was probably a little too morbid:

Finally, Steve came for his briefing. I got the impression that the Australian Army had not taken this as seriously as the others.

I’m not sure how useful all those briefings were, but at least they’re finished and we can continue with our plans to go home!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Wow, that insurgent sure ended up giving us a lot of information! Thanks to that, and to some other intelligence that we got from the local villagers, we were able to learn a lot about the insurgents in our area. In fact, it was enough for our higher headquarters to plan a big offensive against them! Before we could do this, though, we needed reinforcements. An entire company of the Welsh Guards showed up to help us!

Winston explained that due to cutbacks in the British Army, the Pembroke Welsh Guards and Cardigan Welsh Guards have been combined into a single regiment.

As for the offensive… well, it’s too soon for me to tell you anything more about that! Maybe later, after I get home…

Posted by Stone Cold at 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I got some great news today! A local sheikh and his two teenage sons stopped by and asked to see me. It turned out that they had captured Hussein Khan Youssi, one of our two most wanted terrorists!

I thanked them and made arrangements for them to receive the award money. I’m really glad to have this dangerous criminal off the streets! He’s been involved in a lot of bad activities, and I know he has a lot of information about insurgent activity in the area. I asked him to tell me what he knew, but he just stuck his tongue out at me:

I’m not a specialist at interrogations, so I called Nicole over because she’s been trained in that sort of thing.

Sure enough, as soon as she showed up, the insurgent began to tell us everything he knew! With the information he gave us, we should be able to catch a lot of his former buddies!

MAJ Simer later said that Nicole probably looked more like one of the insurgent’s natural predators than I did, and this may have explained why he started talking. MAJ Simer also warned us that the Red Cross may have something to say about that particular tactic. But can I help it if my only trained interrogator is virtually indistinguishable from a crocodile?

Posted by Stone Cold at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to help from those villagers and the other tribes I met with last week, we’ve been able to identify two very dangerous insurgents operating in this area! Both of them are members of a very violent group known as JAM (Jaysh Al-Mamba, or “Army of the Snake”). Nicole put together some wanted posters, and we’ve been handing these out. Hopefully someone will be able to help us find and arrest them!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I had a bit of a surprise today. Some bears came by and asked to see me! Fortunately we were able to get them onto the base for a meeting with relatively little trouble. The gate guards searched them, of course, but since bears don’t wear clothes it was easy for the guards to see that our visitors were not concealing any weapons.

I met them in the Animal Squad area. It turned out that the visitors were the sheikh and two of his brothers. I invited them in. Unfortunately I didn’t have any pillows that were the right size for them to lean on, so they had to make do with what was available:

In Iraq (and many other Arab countries), it is customary to serve guests chai (tea) as soon as they arrive. So I immediately told Winston to make some tea (I figured he was the best one to do this, since he drinks tea every day at 5 o’clock).

Unfortunately, our only teacup was being used.

After a bit of a delay, Winston was able to serve the tea.

After drinking tea, we got down to business. The sheikh told me that he was sorry about what had happened in his village. Unfortunately, some insurgents had come in and told all of the bears in his sleuth that if they helped or even talked to coalition forces, they would be killed! The sheikh explained that he and his tribe just wanted to live in peace, but the insurgents wouldn’t let them. He also said that because we helped the wounded civilian after the last battle, he could see that we meant well, but he knew that the insurgents were up to no good.

The sheikh offered to help us, but he asked for weapons so his bears could keep the insurgents out of their village. He explained that the Iraqi Army and Iraqi police never go out to that area, so there was no other way for them to defend themselves. He also asked for money so that they could dig new canals and replant the berry bushes Saddam had destroyed.

I told him the money was no problem, but that I was afraid that if I gave weapons to just one tribe, the other tribes might think we were playing favorites. After all, we’re fighting on behalf of all Iraqis, not just one village, tribe, or sleuth. So I told him that if the other tribal leaders were also interested, we might be able to make an arrangement.

Sure enough, the next week, all of the local tribal leaders showed up to meet with me!

(This time I made sure the tea was ready when they arrived.)

We reached an agreement to arm and train a few selected animals in each sleuth or herd so that they would be able to defend themselves against insurgents, in return for which they would have to cooperate with us.

I think that worked out very well!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I mentioned in an earlier update that we get supplies and mail delivered by a reindeer-drawn sleigh (it’s actually what we call a “sleigh-130”). It makes a weekly trip from POLARCOM headquarters in the Arctic to the airfield at Tallil.

Today I got mail! (It is one of the last shipments we'll be getting since we're heading home soon!) Blitzen, the loadmaster for the sleigh-130, brought it over to me.

Hooray for cookies!

Posted by Stone Cold at 11:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

A few days later, our patrol took us through the bears’ village again. This time, though, something seemed different.

Only the adult bears came out to see us this time. And for some reason, they didn’t want to say anything to us – they just asked us to please leave them alone. I couldn’t figure out why they had such a change in their attitude….

We respected their wishes and moved through the village quietly, but I knew something was wrong, so I warned my squad to be extra careful.

Sure enough, shortly after we passed through the village, we got ambushed! Steve and I were pinned down, but we tried our best to return fire.

Fortunately we were able to get our air support on scene quickly. Tony dropped his “ordnance” right on target!

The RDA (Rock Damage Assessment) was one insurgent KIA (Killed in Action), although I think there may have been more who were involved in the attack.

Unfortunately, during the battle one of the village bears was wounded by a stray bullet! Winston immediately performed first aid and we called in a MEDEVAC (Medical Evacuation). Here is Winston preparing to load the wounded villager onto a MEDEVAC Bird:

Here is a closer look. You can see the villager suffered a nasty wound to his right paw.

The insurgents are definitely up to no good in that village, and I think they have those bears intimidated. I hope we can find a way to drive them out!

Posted by Stone Cold at 08:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

My platoon got assigned to a new patrol zone recently. While we were on our first patrol in the new area, we came across something totally unexpected!

I didn’t even know there were bears in Iraq! They look kind of small, so I figured they were probably malnourished. I also thought they must be Sun Bears, since I figured only bears that really like the sun could survive in Iraq. MAJ Simer, however, said that if they live in this area they are probably Syrian Brown Bears. I asked him, “if they are Syrian bears, then what are they doing in Iraq?” MAJ Simer just shook his head.

Whatever kind of bears they are, they were a little apprehensive at first (you can see that one cub is staying very close to its mother). But they were not hostile. The village sheikh came out and welcomed us.

We spoke to him for a while. He explained that they hadn’t seen Americans or British soldiers in their village very often, so they were a little concerned as to why we were there. Once we explained that we were just passing through, he was satisfied. After the sheikh finished talking, the other bears felt more comfortable. As we spoke to them, many of them smiled at us, waved, and even came up to thank us (and America, and Britain) for getting rid of Saddam Hussein! Apparently Saddam did not treat these bears very well – in 1991, his secret police apparently uprooted or poisoned all of their favorite berry bushes.

So once they saw that we weren’t there to attack them, they were very happy. After a while they even let their cubs come up and talk to us. Their cubs were fascinated by me. Apparently most Iraqi bears don’t get much bigger than about 300lbs, so to see an 1100-lb polar bear was really exciting! The cubs especially liked to climb on me:

I had a lot of fun visiting that village! I hope we get to go back there again!

Posted by Stone Cold at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Those of you who read this blog regularly may wonder what happened to Ian, the animal soldier from the Royal Scottie Regiment. He’s actually been working over in the property book office with Sgt. 1st Class Pasch. I know I wouldn’t like doing all that paperwork all day long, but Ian enjoys it. Apparently this sort of work plays to his nature as a Scottish Terrier. Here’s a picture of him reviewing a turn-in document:

SFC Pasch really likes Ian. Unfortunately for him, though, she thought he would look really cute with a bow, and made him wear one:

Here is a closeup of Ian with the bow. He doesn’t look very happy about it.

In fact, Ian was so unhappy about it that he sent a complaint to our Brigade’s IG (Inspector General)!

MAJ Simer said that if Ian thinks wearing a bow is humiliating and degrading, he should try working in the S3 section for a while.

We’ll see what the IG does with Ian’s complaint.

Posted by Stone Cold at 11:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This was a particularly sad Memorial Day for the Animal Squad. We had to add one of our own to the 1/34 BCT’s photos of fallen heroes. It took us a week before we could release the news, because his family left their den for the summer several weeks ago, and we had to search for them.

Teddy was a great team leader. I’m going to miss him.

Posted by Stone Cold at 10:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Posted by Stone Cold at 12:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

This week I got to go on a patrol with some of the human soldiers! I went with a patrol from the 134th BSB (Brigade Support Battalion). It turned out that one of my buddies from my POLARCOM reserve unit was part of this patrol! It was sure fun to see him. Here’s a picture of us together:

I helped him prepare for the mission by loading a few coolers full of ice into the vehicle. We polar bears need to bring LOTS of ice on patrol with us, so that we don’t overheat. My friend, 1st Sergeant Olson, stopped by to inspect us and to make sure we were prepared for our mission with enough water, ammunition, and ice (that’s 1SG Olson in the middle):

I asked if I could be a gunner for this mission, but after trying for several minutes, the soldiers determined that they could not get the gunner’s harness adjusted to fit a polar bear:

While we were on patrol, we stopped at a nearby school and dropped off some supplies. The kids were sure happy to see us! We gave them notebooks and pens and things like that, and they were very thankful. It was great to see them attending school, although it was sure disappointing to see what terrible shape the building was in.

Here is a picture of the schoolchildren with MAJ Simer and with two of my other friends, Amy and Jeremy (no, this is not the same Amy as MAJ Simer’s cub – she hasn’t grown up THAT fast). I couldn’t be in the picture – we were worried that Iraqi children might be afraid of a polar bear, so I was pulling security.

After we stopped at the school, we had lunch with some local leaders. They sure served a lot of food! I was very pleased with that. They roasted two whole sheep – one that they cut up and served to all the humans, and another that they served to me whole. That was very nice of them. For the humans, they served the roasted sheep on a bed of rice, with flat bread, vegetable soup, and fruit. Everyone ate with their hands (or paws) while sitting on the ground, which is the tradition for a luncheon of this sort. It was pretty neat. Here is a picture of Jeremy eating lunch with some of the Iraqi dudes.

On the way back, I got to be a Truck Commander (TC). Here I am watching the road and looking out for IEDs:

When I got back, MAJ Simer told me that I needed to file a trip report explaining what happened on the mission:

I had a great time on this mission! I’m sure happy that those soldiers let me go with them. It was nice to be meeting and helping some Iraqi people.

Posted by Stone Cold at 01:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I was leading my squad on patrol today when we got a call on the radio. Aerial surveillance had found an insurgent preparing to fire rockets at our base! (This is the actual aerial surveillance photo, with Nicole’s notes on it)

We immediately responded by calling in an air strike. With our aerial surveillance guiding him, Tony was able to score a direct hit. Notice the crater behind him.

I arrived just a minute or two later and talked to Reggie and Tony. They said that there were other insurgents involved, but they drove away in a pickup truck.

Reggie was able to track the truck back to a nearby village. I took my squad over there to see what we could find. Here I am knocking on the door of a house. You can see that Snort and Winston are establishing security, and Steve is getting ready to go in the house with me.

The owner of the house greeted us. I thought he looked a little suspicious.

I spoke to him while Steve checked the place out.

I noticed that the occupant of the house got really nervous when Steve walked near a large rug that was lying on the side of the room.

So I decided to check it out:

When I lifted up the rug, I discovered a cache of rockets!

Steve and I immediately detained the occupant of the house.

We’ll send him to an internment facility for interrogation. I hope he’ll tell us who else has been helping to shoot rockets at our base!

Posted by Stone Cold at 11:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today, 25 April, is a very important day! In Australia and New Zealand, this is when they commemorate "ANZAC Day!" ANZAC stands for "Australian and New Zealand Army Corps." This was a Corps of soldiers from Australia and New Zealand who fought in World War One. On 25 April, 1915, these soldiers made an amphibious landing at a place called Gallipoli. That developed into a terrible battle in which thousands of them were killed.

Today, ANZAC day commemorates all of the Australian and New Zealand soldiers who have fought and died in wars, from World Wars One and Two to Korea, Malaysia, Vietnam, and the two Gulf Wars. It's a very important day.

Steve had a great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather who fought with the original ANZACs (see picture below), so he led our own commemoration.

On ANZAC day, people wear red poppies. This commemorates the battles fought near Ypres, in Belgium, and the poppies that grew there. There is a famous poem called In Flanders Fields that mentions the poppies, and that's why they've become part of our remembrance. Unfortunately, no poppies grow in this part of Iraq, so we did the best we could:

New Zealand does not have soldiers in Iraq, but a member of their diplomatic corps came as a representative:

Steve and I raised the Australian and New Zealand flags to half-mast to commemorate the soldiers from Australia and New Zealand who have died in war:

Winston and Snort laid a wreath of poppies:

Steve finished off by reciting another famous poem, For the Fallen, which is another traditional part of ANZAC day observances.

I sure learned a lot about Australian history by helping Steve commemorate ANZAC Day! If you want to learn more about this holiday, the Australian War Museum has a site that explains it very well:

http://www.awm.gov.au/commemoration/anzac/anzac_tradition.htm

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

The insurgents keep firing rockets at our base. We’ve been having a tough time trying to stop them, because we can’t see where they’re firing from. I asked MAJ Simer if we could get a UAV (Unmanned Aerial Vehicle) to try to find them, and he said yes, but we would have to do an “ONS.” “What’s an ONS?” I asked. MAJ Simer said, “an ONS is an Operational Needs Statement. You have to write up exactly what you need, why you need it, the support requirements for it, and a risk assessment. Next, you put this all into a special computer program we have for managing equipment. Then, the whole information packet goes up to the Corps, where a specially trained person ignores it until you go away.” That sounded like a lot of work with little chance of success. So, instead of getting a UAV, Reggie and Tony decided to work on their own version of aerial surveillance.

The first thing they decided they would need was a camera. This was easily acquired. They had a little trouble opening the package, though.

Once they got the camera out, there was another problem. Tony had trouble holding it in his talons!

They tried to think of ways to fix that. The first idea they thought of was very dangerous, so I jumped in to stop them before they could try it:

Their second idea was much better.

After all, there are few problems that can’t be solved with enough duct tape!

Now I hope we can start tracking down some of these insurgents!

Posted by Stone Cold at 10:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

This is what I found when I walked into the office this morning.

Oops! Looks like someone lost their headgear. Well, there's only one solution to this problem - the headgear must be punished!

My first idea didn't work out very well - the headgear didn't fit.

I then enlisted Winston to help me in my task. He contributed a little something:

There's a makeshift anchor here that some of our Navy Electronic Warfare officers put together. We decorate the anchor for various holidays. I thought the headgear would look good on top of the anchor.

… but then I figured that the headgear's owner (who was very negligent for leaving it unattended) would probably come by and take it back if I left it there. I couldn't let that happen. I found some soldiers nearby with a HMMWV and asked them to help.

After that, I had one more option in mind, which I thought was really cool. Unfortunately, CW4 Panos, the safety officer, did not think it was a good idea, and he stopped me.

So finally I just gave the soldier's headgear back to his supervisor with a note:

Sir,
One of your soldiers was negligent in leaving this "sensitive item" unattended. I recommend that you conduct corrective training.

Hee hee hee - it's fun playing practical jokes!

Posted by Stone Cold at 12:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hi everybody! I'm sorry for the long delay between messages. Spring is here in Iraq, and that means two things: Warmer temperatures and lots of blowing dust. Neither of those things are very good for polar bears, so I haven't been feeling well lately.

While I was sick in bed, though, I made use of the time by reading a few books. I'm hoping these books will help me to better understand Iraq's climate and culture.

I'm feeling better now and will be returning to action, so I should have some more updates before long!

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Today was another exciting day! My friend, CPT Simer, got promoted to Major today! I was really excited about it, so I asked if I could pin his new rank on. He agreed. Here are some pictures…

Here I am pinning his new rank on:

Major Simer and I right after the ceremony:

I was really excited, and I congratulated MAJ Simer in the traditional polar bear way… I guess once again, he wasn’t ready for that. Oops.

After he came to, MAJ Simer told me that I really need to do a better job of controlling myself. To make sure I would follow up on that, he told me that he was going to give me a written counseling statement:

Here he is writing the counseling statement.

I told MAJ Simer that I understood and promised that in the future, I would try harder to remember I’m working with humans, not other bears.

Sheesh. Humans are such wusses.

Posted by Stone Cold at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

There was a rocket attack on our base today! We had to take cover in a bunker.

Nicole was too far away to reach the bunker, so she found the nearest available cover.

Apparently CPT Simer was actually expecting to wear his helmet...

He quickly realized it was being used.

Nicole politely suggested that he pull his head inside of his body armor to protect it - like a turtle does - but CPT Simer declined.

We call rockets and mortars "indirect fire." This is because usually when someone fires a rocket or a mortar, they can't see what they’re shooting at. A rifle or an RPG are "direct fire," because with those you see what you're shooting at and aim right at it.

I can't tell you what kind of damage the rockets did, of course. Most of the time they're just an annoyance. Still, there has been talk of my squad getting assigned to a new patrol zone with the task of stopping indirect fire attacks, so stay tuned...

Posted by Stone Cold at 09:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Yesterday we had some excitement out on a patrol – we got into a battle with some insurgents! Fortunately this time someone had a camera, so I have pictures that I can share with you. Here’s what happened:

We were just on a routine patrol and were passing through a local village when some people stopped us. The villagers told us that there was some suspicious activity around one of the buildings in their village. One of the villagers said he got a phone call saying that if he talked to the Americans about that suspicious activity, the village’s new school would get blown up! Another villager said a teenage girl had been badly beaten because someone in that building didn’t like the way she was dressed! That didn’t seem very nice. We decided to check out the building. We approached it very carefully.

Suddenly an RPG (rocket propelled grenade) flew over our heads, and we started taking small arms fire! We immediately took cover.

Continue reading "The Big Battle" >>>

Posted by Stone Cold at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A while ago, I wrote a memorandum to POLARCOM in which I wrote that in order to continue fighting insurgents, my squad would need air support. Surprisingly enough, my request was granted! Our air support arrived today:

The two pilots they sent are from the US. Their specialty is attack aviation, although their service records stated that they had experience in transporting other animals for various distances as well. After they reported to me, I asked them their names. They said, “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!” Unfortunately, I don’t speak bird very well, so I had to consult a dictionary.

According to the dictionary, ““SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!” can mean one of two things:

1. “Our names are Tony and Reggie.”
2. “Two thousand caribou have just trampled through my favorite salmon stream.”

I figured that meaning #1 was what they intended.

As always, I asked them a little more about themselves.

Tony is a Red-Tailed Hawk from Colorado. He has been an Army aviator for about six years. He likes to soar really high and to dive fast. When I told him that I was from Minnesota, he told me that he has always been a big fan of gophers.

Reggie is from Alaska. He is a Bald Eagle, and he says that he was named for a very famous Eagle. He has been an aviator for about five years. Like Tony, he didn’t go to the US Army aviation school at Fort Rucker, Alabama, because he was born an aviator. In his spare time, he enjoys fishing.

I was sure excited to have these two join my squad. Unfortunately, it turned out that they, too, had not received any training on how to identify friendly forces in Iraq! This time, though, I anticipated that and I was able to intervene in time.

Fortunately, Steve and the porpoise were both uninjured.

I gave Reggie and Tony a quick class on recognizing friendly forces.

Sheesh, they really need to do a better job training some of these soldiers before their deployments!

Posted by Stone Cold at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today was a great day! I finally got my promotion!

Promotion in the US Army is much more complicated than I am used to. In the Bear Army, it's simple - if you can beat up your squad leader, you become the squad leader. If you can beat up your platoon sergeant, you become the platoon sergeant, and so on. If you can beat up other bears AND do "Powerpoint," you're eligible to be an officer. In the US Army, to get promoted to Sergeant or Staff Sergeant you need to be recommended by your commander, you need to get enough "points" (you get points by shooting your weapon well, earning awards, and things like that), and you usually need to go to a promotion board. Well, I finally met the requirements for BOTH armies, so I was able to get promoted.

We had an informal ceremony with a few members of my squad and some of my human friends from the Brigade. Here is a picture of us standing in formation. Captain Simer has called me "front and center," in front of my squad and my friends Sergeant Schilling and Sergeant 1st Class Pasch. We're standing at attention because Sergeant Major Bell is reading my promotion orders (Sergeant 1st Class Clevenger took all the pictures).

And here is a picture of CPT Simer and SGM Bell pinning my new rank on!

In POLARCOM, it is traditional that after promoting someone, you whack him really hard with your paw. It's just a ritual we have. I had explained this to CPT Simer, so he thought it would be neat to observe that tradition. Here he is whacking me with his paw. He didn't hit me very hard, though.

Unfortunately, I apparently forgot to tell CPT Simer that it is also traditional for me to whack him back...I guess he wasn't ready for that.

I checked on him and he seemed to still be breathing, so he must have been OK. I haven't seen him back at the office yet, though.

After the promotion ceremony, I tried to buy pizza for my squad, but the people at the Tallil Pizza Hut laughed at me when I tried to order "Six large pizzas… one with seals, one with milk-bones, one with eucalyptus, one with grass, one with haggis, and one with anchovies and tuna." Oh, well.

It's great to be recognized with a promotion! I'm also glad for the extra pay. Right now, Milkshake is able to go out onto frozen lakes in Minnesota and whack walleye and northern pike to eat, but when summer comes along we'll really need the extra 2 arctic dollars per month to feed our two new cubs. That doesn't sound like a big increase unless you know that one arctic dollar is enough to buy an entire adult seal (with blubber). Since polar bears can live for days to weeks after eating a single seal, 2 arctic dollars per month is a LOT of money!

Posted by Stone Cold at 10:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Well, today was a pretty good day. My whole squad cheered up because we got care packages in the mail! Mine had cookies in it! I love cookies!

After I ate the cookies, I ate the bag they came in. Then I ate the peanut butter crackers, and the drink mix. Even the box tasted pretty good from having all that food in it!

The porpoise also got a care package:

Hooray for care packages!

(Note: I still don’t have a mailing address for humans to send me care packages. I am able to get them from Milkshake because POLARCOM sends my mail over. There's a reindeer-drawn sleigh that does a weekly cargo flight from the North Pole to Tallil, to deliver mail and supplies. Unfortunately, humans are not allowed to send cargo on that sleigh. Sorry!)

Posted by Stone Cold at 08:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Actually, I left something important out of my last message. I knew about the extension even before the email came from POLARCOM. Apparently there was a mixup at POLARCOM HQ, and they told the Arctic media about our extension before they bothered to tell me. So I actually heard about it first from my wife - she read it in the Tundra Tribune (our local newspaper) and wrote to me to see if I had heard the news. Naturally I was caught by surprise, but when I followed up on it with my chain of command, it turned out that she was right. Below is her email to me:

------

Dear Stone Cold,
Grrr?
Love,
Milkshake

------

And my reply (after discovering that it was, in fact, true):

------

SGT(P) Stone Cold
Animal Squad Leader, 1/34 BCT

Posted by Stone Cold at 03:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We got some disappointing news today. My squad has had our tour extended. That means we're not going to go home in March, like we had expected. It's a little disappointing, but the humans in our Brigade found out they were getting extended last week, so it was only a matter of time for us. I got the message in an email from POLARCOM HQ, and I had to break the news to my squad. Most of them were out on missions, but I gathered together the ones who were available to make the announcement in person.

After I read them the announcement, I let my soldiers read it for themselves...

The porpoise didn't seem very surprised. He made a few of his usual high-pitched noises and then flolloped away (flolloping is how porpoises get around while they are on land. It's hard to describe - you really just have to see it to know what it is).

Winston made some remark about fighting on the beaches, in the fields, and in the hills, and never surrendering. I'm not sure what he was talking about, since there are no beaches, fields, or hills near here...but in all, he seemed to take the news well.

Snort kicked the announcement a few times and then wandered off.

Steve had the most positive reaction of them all...he didn't even ask to read the message himself. He just said, "No worries, mate! Cheers!"

Ian, on the other hand, had the sort of reaction I guess I should have expected from a Terrier...

Oh, well. I'm sure he’ll be fine after a few days.

Posted by Stone Cold at 11:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Another coalition soldier arrived today! I went to meet him at the airport. This coalition soldier turned out to be from a Danish battalion:

I greeted him and then went to get a vehicle so that he wouldn’t have to carry all of his bags.

While I was gone, Snort came by…

Unfortunately, it appears that the Army deployed Snort without giving him any training on how to identify members of the coalition! I can’t believe they would leave out something so important. Before I could do anything, there was a misidentification and a terrible tragedy occurred.

Poor guy.

---

01/08/06 FOLLOW-UP TO THIS INCIDENT: Snort was repremanded for his actions. See the report below...

1/34 BCT Military Justice Log

A Red Bull Soldier from Animal Squad, 1-34 Brigade Troops Battalion, received a field grade article 15 for improperly devouring another coalition soldier. Although the soldier demonstrated that his training in coalition identification was inadequate, he nevertheless failed to achieve positive identification before devouring. The soldier also failed to demonstrate that he perceived an imminent threat of attack or of starvation. Soldier was reduced to private (E-1), received a forfeiture of half a month’s pay for two months (twenty bales of hay), was given 45 days of extra duty, and was sentenced to be shocked with an electric cattle prod seven times (this punishment was suspended for 6 months).

Posted by Stone Cold at 10:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

As you know from my previous posts, my squad really has been overwhelmed with tasks lately. Well, we finally got some reinforcements! The US Army and our coalition partners (in particular the United Kingdom and Australia) sent some additional animal soldiers to perform missions with my squad. They arrived yesterday.

They reported to me, and I took a few minutes to talk with each of them and take their picture. Here they are:

I asked this guy his name and he said “SNORT!”