Heroes and villains . . .

A new year, a new age (for me). . . thanks to my nearly perfect timing (read impatience) emerging into this seemingly okay world. Don't get me wrong - it's a great place to be, but doesn't it seem that everyone can always recall a "better" time? It's all I know, so I'll take it and run with it.

This year will be one of some rather significant changes for me, some of which are set in place to happen, but others of which are going to require my most diligent efforts. I don't get too excited about the whole New Year's Resolution fiasco. I use my birthday as my excuse to motivate me to change behavior or whatever seems to need improvement. More on those later.

Posted by CJ at 6:53 PM | Permalink

Have no fear...I'm not giving up on this. There are many things that are easy to let slip away after some time, e.g. diets, diaries, New Year's resolutions. Isn't it remarkable that we keep attempting these things that seem to falter year after year? Determination or idiocy, I'm not sure, but we should at least get better with each attempt or else the answer is quite clear.

One of my anticipated alterations is a physical transformation, not quite as drastic as Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis; rather, slightly more practical. My goal is to shed a few layers of insulation (really not all that critical in Minnesota) while toning and bulking. Not that I've ever been a spectacle of obesity or weakness, but I fear that lack of attention over time might lead to either or both of these.

People are so concerned about how much money they make and how much they are able to sock away in a plethora of investments: 401(k)'s, Roth IRA's, 529 College Plans, stocks/bonds, and real estate, in order to establish a whopping sum of money that they can tap into during their supposed "golden years" so that they can afford an extra round of golf, one more winter in the land of elderhostels (read AZ and FL), or lifetime renewal subscriptions to TV Guide and National Enquirer.

Whatever people may envision for the use of their retirement egg, few people seem to grasp the concept that a retirement "kitty" is only beneficial to you if you're healthy enough to use it. The key underlying concept there is that you have to live long enough to take advantage of your hard-earned savings or else you might as well have wined and dined a little more extravagantly while you were able to enjoy the extra dough. With heart disease reigning as the #1 killer in the US, it seems logical that physical fitness should be just as much a priority in life as opening a savings account or shopping for a bargain on car insurance. Feeling satisfied with a sale price on Twinkies is now hilarious on many levels.

Posted by CJ at 8:13 PM | Permalink

The other night, at about 7 PM, maybe even later, a solicitor knocked at my door. [Couldn't figure out the doorbell?] I answer the door with my trusty sidekick, Chazz, close at heel, after having glanced out the window to identify what I was up against this time. There stood a lowly cable company man, about 30 or a little younger.

Cable boy: Hello, I'm ______. [reaching out hand to shake]
Me: Hi, C____. [reluctantly exchanging the favor while keeping door closed as much as possible to keep the ravenous Chazz from getting to this helpless fella]
CB: blah blah blah crap about this cable company....Have you ever had _______ service?
Me: Yup, few years back when I had an apartment.
CB: Do you have high-speed internet?
Me: Yup
CB: Who is that with?
Me: _______ (the competitor) [proudly stated]
CB: blah blah blah Don't you want a better package that includes cable?
Me: Nope, wouldn't watch it.
CB: Well, blah blah, blahdy blah blahs, blah blah....(something about this being a great deal)
Me: Nope, . . . I . . . don't . . . .want . . . cable.
CB: Why not?
Me: Because I'm not a lazy ass. [Hey, you asked]
CB: [turning his head] Wow, that's insulting. . . (pause) . . . Well, have a good night then.
Me: uh-huh [closing door with a great sense of satisfaction]

Hey buddy, you knock on my door, I run the show. No need to act shocked that some people actually don't veg out in front of a hypnotic array of tiny lights trying to avoid real-life. I've got my own shit to do; I don't have time to do what I want to do, let alone give a hoot about some pretty faces who were paid to be over-dramatic for the chance to win a second date with a nobody. Oh wait, that crap is on network TV. My bunny ears will tune in that garbage for me just fine, if I ever cared to attempt it.

Crazy idea for all the TV addicts: go live your own life.

Crazy idea for the cable solicitors: go get a real product.

Posted by CJ at 6:57 PM | Permalink