We all want to know how to find "the one." People constantly read magazines and books and advice columns that are supposed to help them with their love lives. But what if we were told that science can help us find true love? According to our psych book, it can!
Our book tells us that falling in love isn't a random act of fate. There are three stages behind attraction and relationship formation:
1. Proximity. In order for initial attraction to form, we need to be in proximity of that certain guy or girl. Studies have shown that the more times you see someone, the more you will be attracted to them, even if you don't interact with them. Our closeness to people is where we get the basis for our relationships.
2. Similarity. We look for things in other that our similar to us, in order to form a relationship. We are attracted to people who share similar interests, values, and qualities as us. These shared values help validate our opinions and make us feel good about ourselves!
3. Reciprocity. This means that we feel obligated to give what we get. When we believe people like us, we are more likely to feel attracted towards them. This causes us, in turn, to act more likable. Also, when someone shares something important with us, we are more likely to share something important with them.
So is that it? Nope, physical attraction also plays an important part in dating and attraction. We do judge people based on their appearance
. As our book says, physically attractive people tend to be more popular.
I agree with this. eHarmony is a perfect example of this. They ask people a bunch of questions, then match you with those that you are similar to. The rest is up to you, to be attracted to each other and to work out the rest.
I know a few people that have met someone from a website like this and others and have married the person. I think it is 1 in 5 relationships met online - there are many reasons for this - but one of the main one is that you can find that someone who is like you not who you think you can change to be like you .... ok yes you can find that person like you not online - but for those with a limited social circle it is a great tool to assist in finding that "special" person.
I would agree that these are the three main things that attract people to one another. The proximity factor is clear by looking at the success low rates of long distance relationships. Similarity is also very important. With a significant other or even just your group of friends, you want to have similar interests so you have things to talk about/ do that you both enjoy. Lastly, reciprocity needs to be included because obviously you are more likely to go after someone who is interested in you as well if you are looking to start a relationship.
I'm also noticing that those 3 stages of attractions are what most dating sites are built around. But these three stages could also define many friendships as well. Even relationships without sexual tension, these 3 stages can be identified in it. Does that mean all relationships go through these 3 stages, but based on the intensity of all the stages does it turn into a romantic relationship??
I had to write a blog similar to this write. We both had some different stuff, but I feel i can relate more to yours. I definately agree with everything that is said here. Especially the reciprocity thing. I have never thought about it until know but people really like being liked. In my article I looked at, it also stressed, like yours, that we like people with similar interests and even similar personalities as us.
I like how you start off your blog entry like a dating site. Well played! Although I would imagine no online dating sight would support the finding of proximity. You have a great layout too! You kept things short simple and sweet, with a riveting image.
I really liked your blog and the way you wrote it was very clever! But I think that everyone spends a lot of their life looking for "the one" in various places, but what people do not realize that most of the time "the one" has been in their life all along. People find people more attractive the more they are around them, so they are more likely to get to know them to form a relationship.