We all read (and enjoyed!) chapter 8 of our textbooks, which deals with language, thinking, and reasoning. One thing I took away from the chapter (among many, of course...) was the concept of extralinguistic information - or 'non-verbal' communication.
It's a little like the language of mathematics, in that all the details of extralinguistic information and signals is universal in relation to every culture on our planet. It's in the way we all express ourselves, use gestures - the way we compose ourselves; our posture. But there's one area in which I find all of these non-verbal cues endlessly fascinating, and I'm sure we all can relate to this in some way...
...
Dating.
Whether it's that awkward first date with a cutie you happen to be sweet on, or perhaps even while elbowing through the mob at ladies' night at a bar, how close are any of us paying attention to what is being said by that other person? Sure, the framework of what the conversation is about gets remembered, but most of the attention is centered around how this other person is acting/reacting non-verbally. Are they looking at me? Are their arms crossed? What signals are they trying to send me? It's through these extralinguistic cues that most people (should) know how things are going on a date/encounter. For the most part, and especially if things are going well, these cues aren't singled out, but they are noticed.
Now, I'm not going to link to all the trashy pick-up youtube videos on this subject in order for you to better know how to "get better at dating", all I'll say is pay more attention next time to what's NOT being said, because that's where the most interesting things are happening.
...also pay attention to what they're saying...of course.
This was one of my favorite chapters as well. I guess I never realized that it had so much to do with dating (or at least attempting to), but now that you mention it, it's definitely true. Everyone builds there first impressions of someone not based on what they say, but how they look and present themselves since they usually see the person before they talk to them. I wonder how often people's view of another person gets changed simply based on the other person's nonverbal cues.
I really enjoyed this chapter, as I never thought about how non-verbal communication really played a factor. When thinking about it, however, it makes total sense, for if you don't get a good read off your date, it'll cause you to not open up to them as well. Knowing this will make meeting new people fun, as it'll give an opportunity to judge how they feel about me. Who knows if that's a good thing, though.
I also really enjoyed this chapter and learning about dating and what factors influenced it. Non verbal communication is an important part of dating and its interesting to shine light on that
I think it's really interesting to watch for the extralinguistic signals in a person. It's cool how you can gather so much information from someone, and not even realize that you're doing it!
Nonverbal communication is something that people pay a lot of attention these days. The cues we can pick up, good and bad, are endless. Like you said, we still need to pay attention to what they do say, but if its that time when you see someone and haven't talked to them yet, you can read their body language and they way they interact and gather some type of information before going over to the person. I myself am quiet sometimes and just observing people and how they conduct themselves on their own is truly fascinating.
I, too, find it extremely fascinating how non-verbal communication is just as important as actually speaking with someone. It is so interesting to think about. Many people are more quiet than others, so observing their actions can be very important, especially if you've never even talked to them before. Observing a stranger's non-verbal communication can give you hints, if you will, about whether or not they want to talk to you or are interested in you at all. Good post!
I think nonverbal communication is essential. It's such a big part of communication and everyone needs to be exposed to it to develop properly. With the rise of texting and the internet, though, people are starting to communicate without nonverbal cues, which is detrimental to their development.
I too enjoyed chapter 8 of our book and found the non-verbal clues portion very interesting. I had not thought about it in terms of dating until reading your blog - but found myself agreeing with what you had to say. You really can tell a lot about what a person you really don't know well is thinking if you look for and pay attention to these non-verbal clues.
It's weird to realize how big a role non-verbal communication plays in our relationships, cause the image of dating presented through the media often involves teenage girls clustered together at sleepovers trying to come up with "10 best talking point" lists "What if I can start a conversation?!" tactics. With non-verbal cues actually playing the larger role than talking in many cases, we need to pay more attention to how we present ourselves! Hey, how you wave at someone from afar might determine your future husband/wife. Better start working on that wave!