October 7, 2004

Working the Other Way

B. Working the Other Way, for fun and insight:

The nursery rhyme “Little Jack Horner,” in the bureaucratic high style, might read thus:

While seated in one of the corners of the room, Little Jack Horner
(Concurrently, a Christmas dessert was in the process of being consumed
by him)
Inserted his thumb into approximately the mid-section of said dessert and succeeded in removing a plum,
And was heard to congratulate himself thus: “What an ethical lad am I.”

Rewrite one of the following nursery rhymes in the bureaucratic high style, and post it on the Comments section of this blog entry (look for opportunities to use forms of the verb "be," nominalizations, prepositional phrases, and slow start-ups, all as examples of how NOT to write clearly and concisely):

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow;
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.

Posted by tgus at 3:54 PM