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October 20, 2005

week 7, feedback draft 1, essay #2

Feedback from my revision group wasn't as terrible as i thought. I felt I did a pretty bad job because my intro sucked and there was more info about my junior high. I felt that I wasn't emphasizing on the importance of the school location and the neighborhood that a student grows up enough to get my point across. In a way I thought that people would say that I was saying my junior was better than Lincoln. I wasn't trying to get that point across.. noo.. nah uh..

I got a compliment about how I zeroed into Willard-Hay. Yeah, I didn't want to write about North Minneapolis as a whole because I felt that was too board even though there's more statistics that could help me write my paper. I believe everyone said that I had some good facts to back up my point.

Posted by at October 20, 2005 11:28 PM