Shades of Mediocrity

B.M., Juilliard School, 1994

What happens to Juilliard graduates? Do they all turn out to be famous, or at least successful, professional musicians? Not by a long shot, according to this New York Times article, which describes the lives and careers of several members of Juilliard's class of 1994. This is of special interest to me, since I am also ten years past graduation from a famous conservatory (though not quite as famous as Juilliard).

Unsurprisingly, almost half of the class of '94 are not making their livings as professional musicians, and several more, while still in music, are teaching or involved in other activities that are not full-time performance. Those who have left music entirely (including one who recently bit the bullet and sold his bassoon to pay off some debts) have often followed complicated paths through the classical music world and out the other side. Their stories speak to the ludicrousness of expecting 17 and 18-year-olds to be equipped to choose a path as demanding and unforgiving as classical music performance.

The experiences of these musicians resonate with my own path away from performance (though unlike them, I had already decided not to pursue that path before graduation). Studying music performance at such a high level forces most who do it to define themselves primarily by what they do: your conception of self becomes inextricably tied to your instrument. Coming to an understanding of who you are when you move away from performance as the paramount reason for your existence can be a difficult and painful process. It certainly was for me.

The article also makes me curious about the number of my classmates who are now playing professionally. I know that some are, but I also know many who are not. My best guess is that it's an even smaller percentage than the Juilliard class's. Part of this is surely because Oberlin is a very different kind of place than Juilliard; although it's possible at Oberlin to focus intensively on music to the exclusion of everything else (and many do), the fact that the Conservatory shares the campus with a good and serious liberal arts college means that music students are forced to interact extensively with people studying other things. So Oberlin Conservatory graduates may be more open to possible careers beyond music. Of course, the fact that about 25% of Conservatory graduates receive a B.A. in a liberal arts discipline in addition to their B.M.'s in performance (as I and several of my close friends did) must also make a difference.

This piece should be required reading for all undergraduate music performance majors, many of whom could benefit from a reality check before they complete their Bachelor's degrees. I think most responsible music faculty stress that it's worth thinking hard about the combination of talent, discipline, determination, and luck it takes to make it as a professional musician. But learning that not everyone from Juilliard (of all places!) makes it might help emphasize a point that doesn't really sink in for a lot of performers until some time after graduation.

I'll close with a quotation from the article that is an excellent summation of what it's like to study music at this level, an experience that is simultaneously exhilirating and painful for many students:

In the end, maybe going to a conservatory is like being a compulsive gambler: It is one big bet, but the drive to study music is so blinding, and doing anything else so inconceivable, that young players are oblivious to the risk. Sometimes it is hard to determine whether they are driven by single-mindedness or they live in self-denial.

Once at Juilliard, they discover the inherent paradox of being a classical musician. You are called on to be expressive, imaginative, creative, somehow in touch with the mystical reaches of art, an individual. But you are also called on to ply a craft with exceeding skill, meshing a complex of minute physical activities in the service of black markings on a page and the composers who wrote them, often submerging yourself in the crowd. And you do it all with the purpose of making a living.