Shades of Mediocrity

Back again, for real this time

So, another extended period of silence has elasped while the holidays passed. Here are some highlights from my last week and a half:

• Doc Dregs and I made a delicious Christmas dinner for just the two of us that included a lovely smoked turkey breast. You haven't lived until you've set a turkey on fire outdoors when it's 18 degrees and snowing. The few passersby must've had a good laugh at our expense, seeing the two of us, hovering around a flame-shooting Weber grill in our sweatpants and slippers while we maneuvered a large hunk of charred meat. All's well that ends well, though -- beneath its flambed skin, the turkey was moist, smoky, and perfectly cooked. And we didn't burn down the house, although I think we'll get a larger grill before we try that again.


• Families were visited, including my brother, his wife, and their new baby Carter, my parents (divorced for 25 years, but brought together for the holidays by the arrival of their first grandchild), and large numbers of Dregs family units ranging in age from 1 to 84. A good time was had by all.


• Rediscovered the joy of cheesy children's toys through Shark Park, which kept 18-month old Faith occupied for hours. Shark Park offers a rollercoaster track for Hot Wheels cars, the end of which passes through the gaping maw of a plastic shark. The shark may or may not chomp the car as it passes through, while it announces in a Hulk-Hoganesque voice, "Mmmm...Tasty! I love chrome!" and other choice phrases, complete with evil tough-guy laugh. Also, Shark Park shoots small plastic pizzas in the air at the touch of a button. Seriously weird toy, which I am sorry to say entertained many of us adults almost as much as it did little Faith.


• Made the unfortunate mistake of consuming a cappuccino containing six shots of espresso on New Year's Eve afternoon followed by a bit too much champagne that evening. Paid the price on Saturday, but lived to tell the tale. Lesson learned: when the barista looks you in the eye and says, "You know that has six shots of espresso in it, right?" don't just nod and smile -- for the love of God, order something else!

Of course, I was also lucky enough to receive an assortment of thoughtful gifts from friends and family while enjoying the company of all. After the last week or so, I'm starting to think I just might survive January after all. Happy new year!