Shades of Mediocrity

Dream a little dream ($42, please)

Most of us are surely familiar with the experience of "mall glaze," the soporific feeling that comes over you after too much time spent in the climate-controlled, white-noise wash of a shopping mall. The Mall of America produces its own super-potent brand of mall glaze, which at least for me, seems to come on quicker and more intense than at other shopping centers. Well, help is on the way: an outfit called PowerNap Sleep Centers is about to open a store at MoA called MinneNAPolis, where, for a mere 70 cents a minute, exhausted shoppers can gets some rejuvenating rest.

Leaving aside for the moment the question of whether or not this is a worthwhile venture, I have to express both amusement and bemusement at the linked article's lengthy treatment of the supposed social prohibition against sleeping in public. Clearly the writer doesn't spend much time on college campuses, where people of all ages and descriptions frequently nap sprawled across benches, tables, floors, and (when the weather's halfway decent) lawns. Education seems to be a deeply tiring endeavor, whether you're student, faculty, or staff.

As to why people don't catch a little shuteye on mall benches, isn't the more obvious explanation that it's simply far too noisy to sleep, unless you're one of those lucky types who can sleep anywhere, under any circumstances? I can't even imagine trying to nap in midst of the chatter of shoppers, the roar of the air conditioning, the piped-in music, and the screams from Camp Snoopy. I have seen people napping in the Mall, though: just check out any of the lounge areas in the women's rooms of the department stores.

So will tired shoppers be willing to pony up $42 for an hour's rest? I'm guessing not, but I suppose it depends on how desperate you are for a little peace and quiet, something that's always in short supply at the Mall of America.