June 2, 2005

'Till Divorce Do Us Part

Derek and I both come from families of divorce. Neither of my parents have remarried, but Derek's mom remarried several years ago.

The fact that we both know what divorce is like makes us very careful about marriage. We talk at great length about how we need to do everything we can to continue to communicate and work out any problems we encounter.

I actually dated someone who came from a family with happily married parents who said to me, "I don't usually date people whose parents are divorced. I think they tend to think of divorce as an easy way out".

Can you believe that?!

Easy way out? How easy is it when your dad moves out and lives across town in a yucky apartment while your parents try to work things out? How easy is it when you are responsible for carpooling your little sisters around because there is one less parent around to do it? How easy is it to have to decide whose side to take in an argument?

In many ways, I think the fact that we both have divorced parents makes us an even better match than a couple whose parents are still together. I have friends whose parents are still married, and they take for granted the fact that their parents are together under one roof. Now, whether or not their parents are happy is another story, but at least they know that when their parents go to sleep at night they are at least together and looking out for one another. I worry about my parents all the time.

I'm curious about what other people have to say about this...does your parents' marital status make you think about marriage differently?

Posted by tsch0020 at June 2, 2005 2:46 PM