September 24, 2004

Thought Paper

I recently read an article from the New York Times called “Gays Respond; ‘I Do’ ‘I Might’ and ‘I Won’t’” This article was discussing the issues behind same sex marriages. While some gay couples are more than ready to have a legal marriage others are more reluctant. While this article was very informative and on the whole, well written, there were sections that did lack a smooth flow.
For instance in the beginning of the article was a story of a gay couple that has lived together for twenty-three years, own a house jointly, and wear rings of their commitment. The author mentions the fact that this couple is unsure of getting married based on the fact it would complicate their finances, but then the flow abruptly changes and begins talking about recently passed same sex marriage laws and the controversy behind them.
These paragraphs would have sounded much better if a transition had been added. For instance when the author was done discussing why the couple does not want to get married there should have been transition to the effect that after twenty three years Mr. Barton and Mr. Sullivan are posed with this question because of recently passed laws related to same sex marriages. This transition would help the reader to understand why this couple is thinking about marriage and lead the reader to find out more about the laws.
Later on in this article I ran across another another area that could use a clearer transition. In the deeper sections of this story several gay or lesbian couples were offering their point of view on marriage. There were several couples that did not want to get married even if it was legal to do so. One couple felt that it was too much for the one partners extremely conservative family to handle. Now it is understandable that the author offer other reasons as he did but I believe a transition would have helped the paper flow. After mentioning the fact that a family was conservative a transition such as, conservative views are not the only reason some couples are choosing not to marry. In the case of Mr. Barton and Mr. Sullivan they believe that marriage would simply complicate their finances. This transition would have helped tie together different opinions and ideas that the reader is presented with.
Transitions are extremely important in every type of writing, whether it be for a newspaper or for an informative paper. Transitions help the reader to follow the author’s opinion and ideas. Without transitions it is difficult to see the theme or what the paper is leading up to. In my paper I realize that I need good transitions. I am writing on Chronic Wasting Disease, a topic unfamiliar to many people. It would not be practical or effective to simply present point after point. I need to introduce my information to my reader and then slowly and smoothly shift into my opinion side. By having smooth transitions I can hopefully present my paper and convince my reader to believe my side based on the fact they see my writing as logical and smooth.

Posted by firn0004 at September 24, 2004 11:26 AM